“Then David sent and wooed Abigail, to make her his wife. When David’s servants came to Abigail at Carmel, they said to her, ‘David has sent us to you to take you to him as his wife.’ She rose and bowed down, with her face to the ground, and said, ‘Your servant is a slave to wash the feet of the servants of my lord.’ Abigail got up hurriedly and rode away on a donkey; her five maids attended her. She went after the messengers of David and became his wife. David also married Ahinoam of Jezreel; both of them became his wives.”*
David was a pimp
And don’t forget Bathsheba. She was a hottie too. David must have had the mad skills yo. The House of David pulled <i>ass<i> homes! That’s why Jesus was always hangin’ with that trick Mary from 34th and Crenshaw. Yeah, that was a cracka that new which side his bread was buttered on. Holla!
Ahem. That would ass. As in, I feel like an ass. Thank you.
Really, is this some kind of test?
Spam word: heavy
that donkey was pulling a low-riding cart, with spinners
He wasn’t just a pimp, he was a THUG:
14 ¶ And it came to pass in the morning, that David wrote a letter to Joab, and sent it by the hand of Uriah.
15 And he wrote in the letter, saying, Set ye Uriah in the forefront of the hottest battle, and retire ye from him, that he may be smitten, and die.
16 And it came to pass, when Joab observed the city, that he assigned Uriah unto a place where he knew that valiant men were.
17 And the men of the city went out, and fought with Joab: and there fell some of the people of the servants of David; and Uriah the Hittite died also.
That’s playin rough with tha brotha.
Sounds like a courtship ritual I can get behind.
I shall now be sending my servants forth unto Rachel Hunter. Verily.
Hey! You get your wife FIVE maids attending her and you will see her be all happy like that too. (Not to mention 2 more wives means at least 2 nights of rest from constant whoopee)
Man, those women had it made!
Okay, I can do this. First thing: place want ad in newspaper for servants. “Duties: go unto those whom I wisheth to make my wives, and say unto them, ‘He has sent us to you to take you to him as his wife.’”
I’m thinking minimum wage might be a bit low for this line of work, what with Georgia being a red state full of armed women.
Anyone have a look at Tanya Harding there?
She ain’t fighting flyweight.
Ana, well to keep quoting the Bible…we reap what we sow.
Tanya got hers.
RWS. Indeed. Tanya is a sow.