Back in ’94, during the heady days of the first Clinton administration, I was bartending at a Ruby Tuesday’s in Towson, Maryland — an okay gig if you didn’t mind wearing black polyester pants (which I did), or making specialty drinks like “The Rubalicious Mudslider!” named by drug-addled corporate marketers soon to find positions in IT. Fact: when an alcoholic beverage recipe calls for a fistful of malt balls and

Hey! Looks like anti-war demagogue and “progressive” economist Max Sawicky has decided to liven up his dreary digs with my charming mug! What can I say? Leave it to an economist to know money when he sees it. Still, a word of caution, Max: I’m straight, and I’m very happily married. And I’d never ever wear leather pants. Ever. Adjust your masturbation fantasies accordingly. [update: looks like Max pulled my

Here: replace “smokers” with “AIDS patients.” Break out the red ribbons.

Q: What do you get when you cross Jim Bunning and a giant squid? A: A lying, unfunny, politically retarded giant squid who may or may not be racist. Or Corrine Brown without a fastball.

So, Garofalo’s new web mascot decided he’d better comment on the whole Kos dustup after all — not directly, mind you (there’s advertising revenue to consider here), but rather in that glancing, elliptical way favored by smug wannabe-hipsters drunk on their own preening irony. Unfortunately for Atrios, the dainty slap he takes barely leaves a mark — and even his most rabid readers practically ignored it, skipping past in a

Ahem — “You put the boom boom into my heart.” That’s it. G’night, Madrid! Thank you!

More “contrition” from the Prince of Pud: So I said something pretty stupid last week. I served up the wingnuts a big, juicy softball. They went into a tizzy, led by Instapundit. And for a while, I was actually pretty worried. But the final tally was — about 30 hate-filled emails, about 15,000 hate-filled visitors, and the pulling of three advertising spots that are going to be replaced in less

From the cutting room floor, ABC News, continued: 20/20’s Barbara Walters: “In a recent MTV ‘Choose or Lose’ appearance, your husband said, quote, ‘I’m fascinated by rap and hip-hop. I think there’s a lot of poetry in it. There’s a lot of anger. A lot of social energy in it –‘” Teresa Heinz Kerry: “Fo’ shizzle, my nizzle. Eb’body know JFK all Opie on the blunt.” Barbara Walters: “– indeed.

Just a few random notes: 1) If I have time this weekend, I’ll put up the first bit of a hypertext fiction project I’m planning using protein wisdom as a publishing base. I realize many of you are not interested in fiction, which means “hypertext fiction” will excite you less than Melissa Rivers in a rubber bustier and spiked nipple cups. Please, don’t feel obligated to read it. Those of

…Evidently, “I’m sorry I took a dump on the memories of my countrymen, and I feel like a sawed-off li’l lefty shitstack for doing it,” was a little too much to hope for. Prick. The Daily Kos: We make Wahhibism smell like freshly picked honeysuckle. [Related: More from Jay Reding , Spoons, Hitchens, John Cole, QandO, North Georgia Dogma, NEOFLUX, Thomas Galvin, and the indispensible LGF]