Hey! Looks like anti-war demagogue and “progressive” economist Max Sawicky has decided to liven up his dreary digs with my charming mug!
What can I say? Leave it to an economist to know money when he sees it. Still, a word of caution, Max: I’m straight, and I’m very happily married. And I’d never ever wear leather pants. Ever.
Adjust your masturbation fantasies accordingly.
[update: looks like Max pulled my picture. But not before he pulled something else, I bet. Which — flattering as it may be — kinda creeps me out, if you want the truth.]
You’ve been Dowdified! Nice.
What, you mean a Marxist might erase part of history to suit his purposes! The hell, you say!
Revel in your moment. Everybody’s entitled to one.
Forget the leather pants, I had you more for a gay puffy shirt with some cute, tight-fitting breeches, like in the Three Musketeers.
Oh my. Is that D’Artagnan in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me…?
Yes, revel in your moment, indeed. Whose moment is it, if Sawicky is the one posting the JG jpeg at the top of his blog? Enjoy attention much, Max?
I was wondering who the heck Jeff Goldstein was. At first I thought maybe that photo was one of the BeeGees, but it looked a bit dated. This newer picture of Jeff is a better explanation. Hey, can you still hit those high notes in
No fair drawing any broad conclusions, Mr. Tuxedo. It was freezing on stage.
Dude, I just went to Max Sawicky’s site and he looks JUST LIKE YOU!! Are you guys long lost twins or something? Or did he go on that MTV show where people can get plastic surgery to look like celebrities?
Hey, you’re hot. Can I have your number? The phrase “tight fitting breeches” has me all a-flutter.
I can understand why Max wouuld post Jeff’s picture. JEFF IS HOT!! He has some masculintiy issues (hence the compensating beard; the use of flaccid cock/masculinity comments as an insult against other males; the attempt to feminize others whom he wants to degrade by calling them “bitch,” etc.), but those defense mechanisms and hip-hop cliches are part of what makes him so HOT. I think he would step on people and crush their face with his boot if he could. JEFF IS GOD.
Well, I use the beard to compensate for an otherwise hairless chin, and I disavow the “flaccid cock” thing, but the rest of what you say is dead on.
But you forget to mention that I drive an SUV. I mean, talk about compensating!
Well, I use the beard to compensate for an otherwise hairless chin,
Methinks that’s not the only thing the beard compensates for.
… and I disavow the “flaccid cock” thing,
Maybe you forgot what you wrote:
“Unfortunately for Atrios, the dainty slap, he takes barely leaves a mark—and even his most rabid readers practically ignored it, skipping past in a race to hear themselves froth and screech.
…Which is too bad, really, because the entire “comment” is a flaccid attempt to excuse Kos’ transparent schadenfreude . . . another in a series of wimpy and predictable Donk “defenses” that begin, “yes, but look at what the Republicans said…”
You are HOT! I love how you humiliate and degrade Atrios by showing what a wussy girl-liberal he is! I bet his cock grew inward when he read this.
. . . but the rest of what you say is dead on.
Especially the part about you being God! This place is a shrine!
Wait, are you mocking me? Because I’m beginning to think you don’t think of me as a God at all.
Would you like me to email Atrios for you and tell him how fierce you’ve been in his defense? Because then maybe he’ll take you to meet Janeane and you’ll get to go to all the cool parties and stuff—y’know, drink a few Gibson’s with the A-list and drop a few Kristeva refences at just the right time.
Then they’ll have to like you. No, this won’t be like high school all over again. Not this time. This time you’re gonna speak your mind and stand up to the bullies with all their cock talk and their facial hair.
Dungeons and Dragons? I’ll show you Dungeons and Dragons, you jock assholes…!
“Dungeons and Dragons? I’ll show you Dungeons and Dragons…”
Ahem. Contrary to popular belief, you can actually use D&D to get girls. Righteously chastise this fellow with something else, ‘kay?
Did I say “Dungeons and Dragons”? Sorry. I meant “Magik.”
No?
Howsabout “Risk”?
Wait, are you mocking me? Because I’m beginning to think you don’t think of me as a God at all.
No, you have me all wrong. I worship you every bit as much as I said. I do think you have masculinity issues (for the reasons I detailed), but that fuels, rather than impedes, my worship of you, because that complex generates genuine masculine and violent rage, accompanied by a desire to triumph via the submission of others, which merits infinite worship.
Nobody despises Atrios and his pseudo-vengence-is-mine/please-invite-me-to-parties-and-make-me-popular-for-once desperation more than I do. There is nothing more rancid than whiny liberals who know they’re weak and who therefore need to compensate by pretending to be aggressive for once in their lives (while hiding behind anonymous Internet identities and being capable only of keyboard attacks) and/or who parade themselves around as Champions of the Masses while secretely harboring the desperate desire to be invited to all those compelling insider parties (WOW! Kos and Atrios and James Carville – at the same banquet table – now I’m being interviewed by that brilliant political commentator, Fat Bitch Jeneane Garafolo – COOL! Where are the cyanide canisters?).
My worship of you is real. It’s all the more valuable becasue I can identify the source of your power. You are GOD.
“Howsabout “Risk”?”
Risk is acceptable, especially if it’s one of those weird celebrity versions. As for Magic… I don’t do crack in any form, most emphatically including that one, so mock away.
Moe
JeffIsGod:
Okay, my mistake. Just try not to, y’know, spit quite so much while you’re proselytizing. People might find it offputting.