Kept waiting for the UN Oil-for-Food scandal to come up in the debate last night (as in, “Well, we probably would’ve been able to put together a much larger coalition, Senator, had not several of our erstwhile allies been more interested in protecting their illegal financial interests in a corrupt UN-enabled kickback scheme than they were in removing the evil tyrant who was, in effect, paying them off. So, y’know,
October 6, 2004
The Colmes Effect
“Forget calling a spade a spade. ‘Liberal’ is now an insult to actual liberals.”
October 6, 2004
protein wisdom: the Vice Presidential debate verdict
Dick Cheney smokes imported cigars, drinks double Scotch neat from a chunky tumbler, and talks to his friends about dames and gams and stock options. John Edwards wants to be a fireman when he grows up. Bless his li’l heart. Incidentally, Twins 2 Yankees 0. **** update: Allah shows signs of compiling a debate reaction roundup. Among the surprises: Spoons thinks Cheney got drubbed. My wife’s reaction: “Spoons must’ve been
October 5, 2004
a protein wisdom philosophy primer: Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel (1770-1831)
Systemic ontology follows from a logical starting point and—by way of dialectic—culminates in the telos. Or, as I told this smokin’ little fraulein the other night, if I buy you a beer, and you accept, then I have every reason to believe you and I will be spending the evening moist and in a tangle of hastily removed lederhosen…
October 5, 2004
A few excised passages from Jimmy Carter’s novel, A Hornet’s Nest (Simon & Schuster, 2004)
from Chapter 4 Quash Dolly’s striking ebony luster was surpassed only by her desire to see the long-suffering Palestinian people claim the dusty Levant as their own. But the Jews would never allow such a thing, she realized—would never abide Palestinian freedom so long as they could turn a Jew buck, or finagle some Jew advantage from the status quo. Still, Quash Dolly held out hope: for the day her
October 5, 2004
9 self-affirmation mantras John Edwards might utter before tonight’s Vice Presidential debate
“If you ever get stuck, just put on a wistful smile and say, ‘there are two Americas, Mr. Vice President, and I look better in both of ‘em. You frumpy bitch.” “Remember: you are to debating what Janeane Garofalo is to ironic detachment and piquant political commentary delivered with pointed insouciance.” “When you mention ‘tax cuts for the wealthy,’ try not to giggle like you did that time with Kennedy
October 5, 2004
Film reviews in five words or less, #15
Team America: World Police (2004) Directed by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Stars Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Kristen Miller, Elle Russ. Five words or less review: MichaelMoorePuppet must really love cannolis.
Former teen idol Leif Garrett comments on last evening’s Vice Presidential debate
Garrett: “Dude, that older guy with the sneer? He kept like, totally bitch slapping that poor little boy in the Bar Mitzvah suit. Which, is that allowed? Because I thought these things were scored on some kind of point system or something…”