Dick Cheney smokes imported cigars, drinks double Scotch neat from a chunky tumbler, and talks to his friends about dames and gams and stock options. John Edwards wants to be a fireman when he grows up. Bless his li’l heart.
Incidentally, Twins 2 Yankees 0.
****
update: Allah shows signs of compiling a debate reaction roundup. Among the surprises: Spoons thinks Cheney got drubbed. My wife’s reaction: “Spoons must’ve been smoking foot powder or some such. Y’think?”
update 2: John Hawkins has another nice roundup here. And Michelle Malkin posts her thoughts here.
update 3: Mary Beth Cahill to Greta Van Susteren: “Bunnies. We needed more bunnies. Simple as that.”
update 4: Hah! I would have used, “with a banjo’s twang and all the sincerity of a TGI Friday’s waiter, John Edwards etc. etc.,” but I have no complaints with “gooey unctuousness.”
update 5: Great commentary, great site. Which, I’ve really gotta start directing people to shitty sites, so that they’ll come back here and not throw me over for things new and shiny. As it is, I’m like the pimp who goes and gets his whores married off to Richard Gere.
I have no idea what that simile means, by the way.
Honestly! Dick Cheney: a man of considerable national political experience and wisdom; John Edwards: a twerp likely to get beat in junior-high debate. Or, that’s how I saw it.
Yep. It was hard to be effusive with Dubya’s performance (with a shred of intellectual honesty, at least) but Cheney clearly spanked his little bottom.
As we chat, John Edwards is crying out in the bunny pen with the only friends that really love him. And unconditional love can keep you going. For a while.
I coulda swore Sinatra was playing in the background when ‘Big Time’ spoke.
Could that really be true?
I kept having this irrational hope that Dick Cheney would just reach over and slap that teenager on the back of the head. DC demonstrated that, like W, he is perfectly comfortable wearing the cowboy boots, the hat, and totin’ the six-shooter. Edwards, on the other hand, desperately wanted another one of those tasty frappacinos that they had back in the green room.
Oh, Edwards likes the hat, boots and shootin’ iron too. He can ride the range on that rocking horse all day.
I only heard it on the radio. Are the rumors I heard true, and that Cheney actually changed expressions and may have shifted in his seat once or twice?
Cheney cleaned Edwards clock. Then reset the clock. Then cleaned it again.
It was wonderful to behold!
The rumors are only half-true, Dean. Cheney did shift in his seat, and even steepled his fingers and crumpled some paper into his lapel mike. But his expression was the same “Make it brief” deadpan, and his voice was the same quarterly-presentation-to-the-board monotone.
Cheney by a field goal.
My Comments – Edwards tanked.
My comment…
Cheney took Edwards apart and demonstrated more class than his opponent while doing it.
Sorry – freaked with how to “link” to “small dead animals” and her post of “Beyond the Global Test”
[here you go—ed]
Sullivan declares Cheney to be “road-kill.” Was he watching the debate with some kind of Ted Kennedy/John Kerry MST3k chatter going on or something?
Honestly? Sullivan doesn’t register on my radar. His most important contribution to the political debate now is that liberals have taken to citing him constantly as a conservative who agrees with them. He’s their Zell Miller. Only without the rhetorical flourish.
Sullivan, in his monomania over same sex marriage has sided with the very people who, as a matter of policy, execute homosexuals. I would submit that his illness has affected his thought process.
What’s with this I hear about Edwards and Cheney’s daughter? I missed the debate, more’s the pity.
And Sully? Sully yanked hard on the handbrake, sending the Dish overnight into a complete 180 – cautious, determined optimism transformed overnight into doom-and-gloom anybody-but-Bush. He hasn’t missed a chance to slam Bush/Cheney, and has some starry-eyed belief that Kerry/Edwards and the Dems are the ‘true conservatives’.
Zeb Trout:
Cheney, like W, “is perfectly comfortable wearing the cowboy boots, the hat, and totin’ the six-shooter” ??
I guess you’re exaggerating for effect, but let’s be honest. In my home state of Wyoming (yes, he “represented” me for many years), a guy who shoots dozens of pheasant let out of a box on “hunting trips” waived his cowboy credentials long ago. Especially the soundstage, movie-set version you’re talking about. I worked in oilfields and I suspect Dick C. knows his way around frappuccino more than Edwards or anybody else. That’s not to mention our president who’s Texan by way of Kennebunkport. I’m just sayin’.
Edwards envoked Cheney’s Daughter when it came to Same-Sex marriage rights. I thought it was going to be a big mistake and show of low-blowing from Edwards but I think Cheney actually came off looking all the better for it.
And, I was wholly impressed at how quickly Sully 180’d the Dish. I had this image of him sitting up late-night in his sponge-bob pajamas, smoking cigarette after French cigarette, and doing a find and replace on all instances of optimism, his espresso cup half-empty save but for his smoldering rage. “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anym—Oh, I didn’t make it clear that I think Bush actually drinks his coffee from the skull of a dead baby in this passage. [backspace][backspace][backspace]”
Yeah, Mr.Tyrone—Edwards is the son of mill worker. Which, that’s like in a country western song, ain’t it?
In fact, rumor has it that Norma Rae was based on Edwards’ life. Can anyone confirm? Or should I just take George Soros’ word for it?
envoke is how we spell “invoke” in Kennebunkport…
I heard a little on the radio tonight as I was picking up my sister…..a rough transcript-
Edwards: Healthcare, and like, totally uninsured people living in abject poverty all over the country since these two clowns took office with the 3 trillion dollar surplus we gave them…I mean, look at medicare? Medicaire payments have GONE UP folks….
moderator: Mr Cheney, Rebuttal..
Cheney: Mr. Edwards didn’t pay his $600,000 worth of medicaire taxes last year, since he’s bitching about how expensive it is, perhaps he’d like to pay it-like the rest of us did. And the 17% he talks about in increased medicaire payments happened during Clintons watch in 1997. We realize that yes, things are getting more expensive, let’s figure out how to pay for them without bankrupting the entire nation in the process…
moderator: Mr Edwards, 30 seconds…..
Edwards: (cough)….(sip of water, clearing of throat)…..(slow prance around the table in shrunken forehead pensive look)…..(stares at Cheney)……McChimpyAbughraibCheneySatanHaliburtonno blood for oil!!!!!!!…….(collapses on floor)….thunk…..
Mr. Tyrone,
Cheney grew up as a member of the lower class. He was also blue-collar (as an electrical worker?) for a decade or so (IIRC).
(Edwards, OTOH, had a comfortable middle class childhood as the child of a mill manager)
Jeff, the difference is I didn’t write a fantasy about about how Edwards is the son of a millworker and smacked down a fake-ass Westerner. I’m different from some, in that I harbor no illusions about whether any of the candidates, on either side, are truly “one of us.” Thinking of DC swaggering in cowboy boots just made me chuckle.
Though I guess he’s not entirely prim, if he can tell others to go Cheney themselves. Now, *that* sounds more like a Wyoming cowboy.
I use the Jack Palance test. And to me, DC looks more likely than Edwards to be able to survive a few nights on the prairie by killing snakes with his bare hands and then chewing them raw to drain them of their life-giving fluids.
Sullivan decides who wins a debate by which man he’d most like to take home. And who most supports gay marriage. Predictable. And, as always, worthless.
Cheney turned Edwards over and mopped the floor with pretty boy’s moptop. Cheney hit him on Iraq, Edwards: Haliburton, Cheney hit him on experience, Edwards: Haliburton, Cheney hit him on Kerry’s Senate record, Edwards: meals on wheels, Cheney hit him on flip-flipping, Edwards: Haliburton, and so on for 90 minutes.
Not even close. At one point Edwards even looked like he was going to cry. Probably missed his bunnies.
Poor l’il Johnnie Eddie got his cute l’il bottom spanked by Daddy 2nite. Frenchie’s judgment in pickin’ that l’il tinhorn hornswaggler of a cheap hustler (or is it rustler?) is as bad as it’s ever Bin. Maybe that wasn’t the operative test, tho, ‘cuz l’il Johnnie ain’t a global kinda boy. Maybe it was Johnnie’s aroma…er….little-boy aura that made Frenchie snap at the bait. But lookin’ at their respective wives, I can understand the attraction outside the politickin’.
As for l’il Johnnie accepting the proposal, there’s no accounting for taste. I guess any whore in a storm will do.
Geor–I mean (ahem)–John…tell me again about the rabbits.
Did anyone count how many times Bunnyboy said “We have a plan” ? They have a plan for just about everything … don’t worry, hope is on they way … they have a PLAN. Isn’t that reassuring? Just looking at his lovely delicate hands, I felt safer.
Yup. Heavy into the flair. Look at all the cute bunny pins! Digging the suspenders. Upselling the appetizers and foo-foo drinks. Employee of the month for the sixth consecutive month.
Creepy.
The Breck Girl got his butt whooped. Nobody gives a the look of sneering disdain better than Bigtime.
Really classy move by the ambulance chaser to talk about Cheney’s gay daughter, as if anyone cares.
I hear the debate was boring. I’m asking my commenters to tell me why they watched it.
Speaking of the “Breck Girl”, did you notice steps were taken to de-pony his hair ?
During Edwards’ 2 minute closing, did anyone else get the feeling they were being pitched to by a televangelist? It was creepy. Instead of asking for money, The Reverend Johnny was asking us to “give them the POWER, the power to help you”. Thank, but no thanks. I prefer to help myself.
You realize, of course, that there’s about four years difference between the two of them. Four hard years, apparently.
Carin,
The easy way to make the “We have a Plan” line make sense is to substitute “goal” for “plan”. So “we have a plan to win the peace”, “we have a plan to make medical care affordable”, “we have a plan to gain the support of the international community”. The whole platform is that they have goals. When Kerry starts to give any sort of details things get very tricky for him. Like “x-raying” every shipping container at US ports and things of that nature. So he sticks with goals he calls plans.
Wife report: Edwards looks very young. Cheney is a much better debater than Bush. Edwards seems to have slogans rather than answers. She’s overloading on political ads and politics. Went to the neighbors house to play “bunko”, whatever the hell that is.
Heh. I mentioned bunnies in one of my posts too. An after the fact on the Presidential debate:
“The contrast was startlingly clear between the two, if you are buying Kerry’s hollow chocolate bunnies because the wrappers are pretty, not realizing the plainly wrapped bunnies behind door number Bush were solid chocolate and not faking you out.”
What city do the Yankees play for again?
There’s a Little League team that plays by that name that’s sponsored by the local pizza joint. Are you refering to them?
FactCheck has sent out a new email with corrections from the VP debate. The relevant part for this topic says that Cheney didn’t answer the question that was asked and that what Edward’s said was mainly correct:
“Cheney got our domain name wrongâ€â€calling us “FactCheck.comâ€Ââ€â€and wrongly implied that we had rebutted allegations Edwards was making about what Cheney had done as chief executive officer of Halliburton.
In fact, we did post an article pointing out that Cheney hasn’t profited personally while in office from Halliburton’s Iraq contracts, as falsely implied by a Kerry TV ad. But Edwards was talking about Cheney’s responsibility for earlier Halliburton troubles. And in fact, Edwards was mostly right.â€Â
Has anyone else guessed that Cheney intentionally stated the website URL wrong? After all, there may be no better argument for casting a vote for Bush/Cheney than a good long look at Soros and his merry band of moveon morons.
Which, I’ve really gotta start directing people to shitty sites
Mine, for example.