“While pretending to reach for my package, that Mapes dame slipped them into my pocket.” “CBS is on East Coast time, whereas BUSH LIED!” “Actually, I had entirely different forgeries¹—though I will admit to some coincidental overlap in the termilogy between my fake documents and the ones released by CBS.” “Why, they were left under my pillow by the forged document fairy, of course” “After a night of intense prayer,
September 23, 2004
9 likely Joe Lockhart excuses for POTENTIALLY having access to the CBS documents before the report aired
September 23, 2004
Olde English musings
Does anyone doubt that were John Kerry Beowulf, the US would today be pleading with the Franks for permission to write a strongly-worded resolution condemning a nuclear-armed Axis of Evil made up of a dragon, Grendel, and Grendel’s mom? He’d probably petition them for permission to “express his concern” with North Korea, Iraq, and Iran, too, come to think of it. update: Response from Gaul, “Perused your resolution, Beowulf, and
September 23, 2004
Kerry: “Bush lied. Allawi is a liar and a puppet. Iraq is Vietnam. And bumbling American troops are creating chaos in Iraq. Now. Who wants a fudge pop?”
Fox News: Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry said Thursday that Iraq’s Ayad Allawi was sent before Congress to put the “best face” on a Bush administration policy that has gone wrong. Shortly after Allawi, the interim government’s prime minister, gave a rosy portrayal of progress toward peace in Iraq, Kerry said the assessment contradicted Allawi’s own statements as well as the reality on the ground. “I think the prime minister
September 23, 2004
Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance, abridged 7
Remember: if life is a highway, you are the yellow line that divides it. And a yellow line wouldn’t be caught dead without plenty of toll change and a package of beef jerky in its saddle bag, would it…?
September 23, 2004
Patsy…?
New York Post: […]while Lockhart insists that the documents were never mentioned in their conversation, he conceded “it’s possible” Mapes just happened to mention the memos when she asked him to give Burkett a call. Yesterday, he explained it this way: Mapes asked Lockhart to speak to “a guy who is being helpful on this story,” adding that she just happened to mention that “there are some records that might
September 23, 2004
Truth be told, doll…
…I always slather my rubber gloves in squeeze butter, then roll them in crushed fiberglass until the fingers are coated with prickly shards. I find such preparation makes the interrogation more…piquant…
September 22, 2004
Ride the peace train straight to hell, you crazy bastard
And by the way, that ain’t a moonshadow following you, Yusuf. See ya’. Enjoy the falafels.
September 22, 2004
My very brief conversation with the state of New Jersey, September 22
Me: “So. Latest Quininppiac poll has Bush pulling even with Kerry at 48 in your state, traditionally a Democratic stronghold. What gives?” New Jersey: “That’s a good question. I’m not completely sure, to be honest—though I can offer a couple of guesses if you’d like.” Me: “Please. You’re the expert.” New Jersey: “Well, first, I suspect a lot of people in New Jersey are beginning to understand that the prospect
September 22, 2004
A Poem from 1968, Revised by the Ghost of Richard Brautigan, 2004 (twenty-fourth in a series)
Hey, Bacon! The moon like: mischievous bacon crisps its desire (while) I harbor myself Michael Moore harbors himself toward two a half-dozen eggs over easy [and a drum of butterscotch syrup — which he rolls around in like a hog in edible sty mud.]