- “While pretending to reach for my package, that Mapes dame slipped them into my pocket.”
- “CBS is on East Coast time, whereas BUSH LIED!”
- “Actually, I had entirely different forgeries¹—though I will admit to some coincidental overlap in the termilogy between my fake documents and the ones released by CBS.”
- “Why, they were left under my pillow by the forged document fairy, of course”
- “After a night of intense prayer, the text of the documents appeared to me in a dream, etched into a giant soft-boiled egg.”
- “The real question is not how I got the documents, but rather can the president answer the charges in the documents.”
- “I was going through Karl Rove’s trash, and voila!”
- “Bunnies. And that’s all I’m prepared to say at this juncture.”
- “Hey, don’t look at me. Max Cleland’s the one you should be talking to…”
¹ Dan Rather notes, “Again, the documents are not so much ‘forgeries’ as they are genuine documents produced in an alternate celestial dimension and transported to our plane of existence by poltergeist in an effort to keep Karl Rove’s minions from usurping the Kingdom of God. And I have no doubt science will one day prove as much.”
Forgeries ? Forgeries !?! You’d better make that “Fake but Accurate Documents”, buddy. Or else my DNC lawyers will be parking their mobile office in your ass.
I was hangin’ with Sandy Berger after one of his trips to the National Archives, and next thing I knew, I had these documents.
No. 6 is funny ‘cuz it’s true. Or at least fake but accurate.
They needed to make fakes because Sandy Berger stuffed the originals in his socks and forgot to remove them before they wilted away due to the sweat.
Instead of fake, don’t the democrats prefer the more politically correct term: space-time continium challenged?