Last evening, my wife asked me if I wouldn’t mind taking out the garbage. I didn’t. So I did.
March 7, 2005
Creating new terrorists: Chimpy McHitlerBurton’s smirky rodeo ride through history continues, #9
From the Moroccan Times: Tens of Thousands of Moroccans hailing from different parts of Morocco marched in Rabat to express their support for the Moroccans still detained in the Tindouf camps. They urged the United Nations and the international community to press on Algeria to set the prisoners free. The March was organized by Collectif Watanouna – set up on January 20- calling on international organizations to “intervene to put
March 7, 2005
Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance, abridged 12
Putting on a flashy white jump suit and vaulting over a row of school buses will never make up for a lonely childhood. Figuratively speaking.
March 7, 2005
University of Colorado Ethnic Studies professor and anti-American firebrand Ward Churchill and 70s Kung-fu expert and counterculture icon Billy Jack discuss the semiotics of Native Americanism
“Did I ever tell you about the time I cut my hair short, Billy? Turns out I looked so unlike an Indian that until my hair grew back I took to wearing a Poarch Creek porcupine roach headdress* and ribbon shirt just so people wouldn’t mistake me for a Norwegian sailor.”* “I hear you, brother. Before I started wearing the hat? I would get propositioned in Arizona public toilets like,
March 7, 2005
Random Alan Colmes fantasy, Monday, March 7, 12:36 PM EST
Just admit that Jimmy Carter is a man whose accomplishments should be celebrated by every American, Hannity, and I’ll release you from my patented Colmesian Figure-Eight Leglock of Death…!
March 7, 2005
Today’s moment of triumphalist schadenfreude (presented ironically)
Wait, I thought it was we heavy-handed Americans—with our distended beer bellies and our fascistic PATRIOT ACT and our NASCAR-drunk lynch mobs roaming the streets disenfranchising brown-skinned voters—who were supposed to be the intolerant ones… Man. We bumbling cowboys can’t even do hatred right.
March 7, 2005
Former teen idol Leif Garrett comments on the news that Syrian troops will withdraw to the Bekaa Valley in eastern Lebanon by the end of March
Garrett: “Well, speaking off the record here, you can’t just pull back and expect that to do any good. You really do have to pull all the way out. Trust me on this. Or else you wind up spending an afternoon you could be windsurfing in some stupid clinic in the Valley, signing autographs for a bunch of knocked-up Brooks College chicks while Joyce Hyser is in the back getting
March 7, 2005
Through the Looking Glass with Giuliana Sgrena, 3
Today’s revelations, courtesy the indefatigable Ms Sgrena (translated): The car kept on the road, going under an underpass full of puddles and almost losing control to avoid them. We all incredibly laughed. It was liberating. Losing control of the car in a street full of water in Baghdad and maybe wind up in a bad car accident after all I had been through would really be a tale I would
March 6, 2005
Scenes from my driveway, continued x 53
Deadbeat neighbor: “I’m thinking about buying a cowboy hat. A nice one, too. Fitted. And some kick-ass snakeskin boots.” Me: “Finally saw Urban Cowboy, did you?” Deadbeat neighbor: “Yeah. Oh—and a really huge brass belt buckle! With a pair of boot-cut Wrangler jeans and a couple of those snap-front shirts with the western piping.” Me: “Sure. May as well shoot the works.” Deadbeat neighbor: “Maybe even a horse.” Me: “Uh
Shannon Elizabeth comments on her pending divorce and the Hezbollah-orchestrated pro-Syrian rally in Lebanon
Elizabeth: “We’re still like, really good friends.”* update: “And speaking of good friends, my husband used to call my breasts ‘Hall and Oates.’ Under the circumstances, though, I’m thinking it’s time they underwent a rebranding…”* **** (h/t Malice)