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November 10, 2008

52 to 48: the dark(er) side

From my email: Hey Pasty — Long time no email numbnuts. Howse [sic] life treating ya? Happen to catch the election results? Whew…you must be beside yourself with your pseudo-intellectual angst. Dayum…looks like you’ll be spewing your irrational, spite-filled rants from the cheap seats for a bit. Sucks to be you asshole. Smooch, Tongaroo P.S. Be on the lookout for the G Men coming to take you away to the

ObamaCorps (or, How I learned to stop worrying and love a nation dependent upon a huge federalized government)

It’s centrist! It’s moderate! Really it is! Isaac MacMillen, Americans for Limited Government (warning: the word “Nazi” gets used. Which I think is racist): […] In his new transition website, Change.gov, “Office of the President-elect,” [Gghah! – ed] Barack Obama promises to “expand national service programs” such as Peace Corps and AmeriCorps. While there are many benefits to volunteering for the country, Obama’s plan has the potential to cause some

9 most patriotic ways to celebrate the preposed new national Obama holiday

uh, half off on Oreo cookies?

Slippery Slope-ism

I give it 4 more years until we’re all doing mandatory calisthenics — fewer, if universal healthcare passes rapidly, and overweight people have the nerve to presume a coverage entitlement without sweating for it. Dance, fat boy! You don’t see any plump Chinamen, do you?: The Philadelphia City Council has passed a menu labeling law that a prominent consumer advocacy group described as the strongest in the nation. The measure

Govern?

Fuck that. Why “govern” when you can get your RULE on: Ah. It’s good to be the King! (h/t STACLU)

“Obama planning US trials for Guantanamo detainees”

Lovely! President-elect Obama’s advisers are quietly crafting a proposal to ship dozens, if not hundreds, of imprisoned terrorism suspects to the United States to face criminal trials, a plan that would make good on his promise to close the Guantanamo Bay prison but could require creation of a controversial new system of justice. During his campaign, Obama described Guantanamo as a “sad chapter in American history” and has said generally

And the sign said, short-haired preppy people, need not apply…

So. We’ve gone from “dissent being the highest form of patriotism” to “sorry, but we’re going to have to arrest you for your own safety — otherwise all these tolerant folk from the party of peace are likely to beat you to death with traffic cones and rocks.” (h/t Ace)

The Newer Testament

And as they were eating at McDonalds, Obama took the Obama cake, and blessed it, and brake it, and gave it to the disciples, and said, Take, eat; this is my body… Axelrod 26:26 **** update: Shamans for O!