The header for protein wisdom proper is 550 x 80 pixels. You can go a little bit wider if need be, but something along those lines would make things easy. The only thing I ask is that the Pub’s slogan — “Okay, so maybe just about anybody can summarize the news. Who knew…?” (or something along those lines) — appear somewhere in the design. The winner will receive lavish praise.

In a People puff piece (I guess that’s redundant), no mention made of Al, Jr. It appears to have been rather a lavish affair: The youngest of Al Gore’s three daughters, Sarah Gore, 28, married businessman Bill Lee in Beverly Hills on Saturday, family spokesperson Kalee Kreider confirms to PEOPLE. The bride, who is taking her husband’s last name, wore a gown by Monique Lhuillier at the wedding, which took

Alien biologists returned for Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid today, cryptically stating only that more testing is required. UNRELATED: She tumbles for you BREAKING: Emperor of Colorado assassinated I would have read this, too, but it took too long to load

Today, surging Presidential Contender Dave Burge made official what some of us have suspected all along: Jeff Goldstein is his choice for running-mate. For reasons that we’ve already outlined at length, we think this is the optimal choice.* As Burge puts it: As my Vice President, Jeff will preside over the US Senate, lead policy initiatives, and act as my personal anti-assassination insurance policy. I want to congratulate Jeff, and

Some of these things, insofar as they relate to legal maneuverings, must necessarily remain cryptic. But others — such as my desire to pamper myself with a nice walnut oil body massage from a trio of topless Brazilian women (noon-1:30), or my plans to use advanced nanotech to create a squadron of “mites” that will seek out and kill that one uppity brown spider who keeps biting me in my

From the WaPo:  A Georgia man is scheduled to be executed by lethal injection on Tuesday for killing a police officer in 1989, even though the case against him has withered in recent years as most of the key witnesses at his trial have recanted and in some cases said they lied under pressure from police. Prosecutors discount the significance of the recantations and argue that it is too late