Due to the tearing up and reseeding of the front lawn, a colony of ants has been uprooted and is seeking vengeance by invading my house.  Bastards!  But (BUT!) mentally fortified by a few daquiris, I figured out how to beat the pismires.  I painted the foyer with marshmallow fluff! Quagmire!! You little f*ckers, I have 3 weeks to finish the script for the pilot to the Cannibal Pirate Midget

Whoever he is.  My Earthlink horoscope: Like a game of chess, you may need to think through your next move quite carefully, dear Aries [yeah, right]. It could be that your opponent is taking a long time to make his or her next move, and you are impatient. And as a result, you may make your decision rather hastily. Feel free to take as much time as you need. Your

Still, Venezuela’s government seems intent on taking harsh action against its critics. The government has announced that it has begun a legal fight against Globovision, a 24-hour news cable station that is the lone dissenting TV outlet in the country now that RCTV is only on the Internet. Globovision is providing highly critical coverage in the wake of the RCTV closing. Lara, the communications minister, said the government would investigate

The former East Germany is being drained of young women, leaving an underclass of disillusioned young men behind, a study says. Disillusioned is a strange way of putting it, but okay. What this new report by the Institute for Population and Development establishes, is that young women have been leaving in much greater numbers than young men – and that of the men who did leave, many returned. The result

Good Friday night fare, “Jeepster.” Don’t even think about trying to get it to sync. In case you haven’t considered the lyrics in any depth, here they are.