LANCASTER, Pa., Dec. 20 (UPI) A survey conducted by Auntie Anne’s Pretzels of Lancaster, Pa., finds 34 percent of real-bearded mall Santas have been urinated on by a child. Big deal. I’ll bet 100% of the Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas have urinated on themselves. H/T Gail *
December 20, 2006
December 20, 2006
The results are in, baby!
Well, it ain’t the Wizbang awards, but I’ll take it. NOW QUICKLY! SOMEBODY FETCH ME SOME SCONES!
December 20, 2006
If instead of a self-important Wall Street Journal assistant editorial features editor with a laughable sense of situational irony, James Rago were a toast point at an upscale party attended—inexplicably!—by those who should have been stopped at the door and sent to Arby’s.
Rago: “No, no, no! You don’t dip me into the Beluga like I’m some barbecue-flavored Pringle, you insufferable…thing. Instead, you delicately smoothe the caviar across the white of my belly, then nibble me with gentle relish, allowing the burst of essence and oil to dance along the tongue and the curve of the palate. “Or if it helps, just imagine yourself french kissing your cousin after plying her with a
December 20, 2006
Ninety-Seven Percent of Married Men [Dan Collins]
covet premarital sex. Really. You can’t make this stuff up. Well, you can. But it’s troothy. It does make this post by Eugene Volokh on a 10-year sentence for a 17-year-old boy having consensual oral sex with a 15-year-old girl seem even more of a travesty, though. Time to reread Measure for Measure.
December 20, 2006
Observed to Mr. Rago [Dan Collins]
Sir, When stentoriously you bray forth your clap-trap, and clothe it in trappings of verbose gobbledy-gook, you open yourself to clapper-clawing from the hoi-polloi. The right now is partially a function of technology, which makes instantaneity possible, and also a function of a culture that valorizes the up-to-the-minute above all else. But there is no inherent virtue to instantaneity. BJ, if you had been to journalism school, you too would
December 20, 2006
AP Covers Tracks Poorly [Dan Collins; UPDATED, way]
Curt at Flopping Aces (PowerLine’s Blog of the Week, after Gay Patriot was Blog of the Month) has the details about how the AP has been tweaking its back stories about the most recent incident of six people being hauled out of a mosque and burned, then shot, in the street in Baghdad. Kind of like Hillary, come to think of it . . . . But, see, he’s got
December 20, 2006
Seasonally Affectively Disorderly [Dan Collins; UPDATED]
Happy Holidays! Boy, this is really going to depress Ace: 95 percent of Americans had premarital sex More than nine out of 10 Americans, men and women alike, have had premarital sex, according to a new study. The high rates extend even to women born in the 1940s, challenging perceptions that people were more chaste in the past. “This is reality-check research,” said the study’s author, Lawrence Finer. “Premarital sex