LANCASTER, Pa., Dec. 20 (UPI) A survey conducted by Auntie Anne’s Pretzels of Lancaster, Pa., finds 34 percent of real-bearded mall Santas have been urinated on by a child.
Big deal. I’ll bet 100% of the Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas have urinated on themselves.
H/T Gail
There are, of course, compensations for that. Back in high school, two friends of mine—cheerleaders—put on sexy outfits and went to see Santa at the local mall.
I envy that Santa to this day. Even if he did get widdled on later that day.
Eewww. I don’t remember Santa being so frightening.
Are those Santa pants made of some Pampers type material?
Or does Santa have some serious chafing issues?
Lack of electricity as well as indoor plumbing may be a contributing factor…what else to do after it gets dark…although if the kid is wearing a blue shirt and black pants and hat it should be an indication that he’s not too proud to take a piss where ever the urge occurs.
Sitting on Santa’s lap is fun for children. That’s why it is so important that even the crying, peeing, bored little lads and lasses be forced to wait in a long line to have a moment with Mr. Claus! And those pictures? Precious!
And lunarpuff, of course he’s got chafing issues. Dude sits down all day in a polyester suit while others sit down on his lap. I’m certain some ergometric bureaucratic busybody has already figured out the details, but the Santa Unions haven’t got the same mall clout as the guys in the cell phone kiosks or the hair-extension-on-a-comb lobby.
LANCASTER, Pa?
Maybe it’s because the Amish don’t believe in Pampers®.