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December 14, 2006

The “I’m not too fond of chocolate mousse” poem

I’m not too fond of chocolate mousse, — though I’m not sure why, exactly. Perhaps it has to do with its contrived airiness, or its gaudy price tag coupled with a truly pretentious name. In fact, now that I think about it, the stuff reminds me of a tanned Paris Hilton spooned into some fancy stemmed dessert glass—only without the promise of sloppy drunken sex easily saved to my hard

Tim Johnson [Dan Collins]

Senator Tim Johnson from South Dakota has, as you’re certainly aware, suffered a stroke and is in critical condition following brain surgery.  The Captain commits an act of gross class by being one of the first bloggers to say what ought to be said: Pray For Tim Johnson But just as important as what the Captain says is what he doesn’t say, such as, “We can make him better than

Ching-Chong, Ching-Chong [Dan Corrins]

Chlistmas Berrs all linging at Wuzzadem. While Muslim youth misbehave in France . . . And riot to protest German bordellos . . . And generally run amok over stuff like cartoons of the Prophet . . . Germany steps up to stem the tide of violence by cracking down hard . . . On players of violent video games. Players and creators of video games could face imprisonment for

A Snip in Time Saves . . . [Dan Collins]

**** Now with “Helmethead vs. Anteater” Preference Bleg! **** Well, realistically about 5 1/2, I guess.

The Best CAIR in the Air [Dan Collins; UPDATED]

From the Washington Times: American Muslims making a religious pilgrimage to Mecca are being encouraged to file civil rights complaints if they feel discriminated against by airlines. The Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR), citing what it called the “airport profiling” of six imams removed from a recent flight, yesterday said Muslims traveling this month to the holy site in Saudi Arabia need to be aware of their rights. “Given the

Unfair Advantage? [Dan Collins]

Wisconsin hunter bags deer with 7 legs “And by the way, I did eat it,” Lisko said. “It was tasty.” South Africa to ban hunting of animals Mushroom hunting ban being contemplated, though bow-season will probably remain.  (Actually, it’s about hunting megafauna bred in captivity for the purpose of killing them, which is . . . creepy).

Shane! (Agonistes) [Dan Collins]

Once high-profile blogger Jeff Goldstein, whom many of the several readers of this blog may remember, posts this opinion bleg in the comments of this forum: Here’s a question for what’s left of my readership.  If I come back, should I come back like Ace?  Allah?  Malkin?  Reynolds? I can do the “get some traffic” thing, but it takes networking and patience, and leaving for a few months seems to

late-night revelations (posted by cranky-d)

After telling my last story about the armadillo, I was persona non grata for a while.  I received a few late-night calls which were basically him saying he was gonna “bust a cap in [my] lying ass” (he loves the movie Pulp Fiction).  I sent him some tequila, and eventually he stopped bothering me.  I was still wary when he called this evening and said he wanted to talk to

my first brief conversation with the Christmas wreath I purchased at Home Depot

me: “So.  How’s it hanging?” wreath: me: “Get it?  How’s it hanging?” wreath: me: “Well, I thought it was clever –” wreath: “– Look, Jewboy. It’s bad enough I have to spend Christmas strapped to the door of a non-believer.  But for $14.99 I ain’t about to laugh at your lame-ass jokes, too.  That’s what those $149 Pottery Barn ‘oversized magnolia garlands’ are for.  They’re the high-priced hookers of the

Talking back to drag-queen music 18 (cranky-d)

I’m not sure I’m clear on the whole concept of believing in life, whether before or after love.  Life just kind of “is.” No belief required. Answer ghosted here-> “Believe,” by Cher Note: as I said the first time, this is music lip-synched by drag-queens, not written or recorded by them.