Go ahead, help yourself.  I’m not using it.

AP, breaking: Iraqi forces captured the leader of an al-Qaida-affiliated terrorist cell allegedly responsible for carrying out a string of beheadings in Iraq, the government said, and 30 people were killed in a string of bloody attacks, among them three American soldiers. Also Monday, the Iraqi government said that Iraqi forces had captured a key aide to Jordanian-born terrorist Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, who leads an insurgency affiliated with Osama bin

(1) Despite oodles of scientific experiments, [experts] don’t exactly know how nitrous oxide works. “The best surmise,” it says [in Nitrous Oxide, Edmond Eger, ed.], “is that the gas acts indirectly, perhaps through a pain-inhibiting system in the spinal cord that releases a substance whose effect in turn inhibits a particular neurotransmitter required for pain-signal passage.” Check. (2) No short-term harm is attributed to nitrous oxide, the experts say, although

Puck:  “Which one of you stupidheads forgot to pre-shape the smoked salmon into little Oscars™ before garnishing it with plump and lovely capers?  Because now we must begin all over again.  You realize this, no…? ”Answer Wolfgang, you bitches!”

Forgetting that he himself is a third-rate talk show host (and not, say, a rocket scientist, or a law professor, or a medical doctor, etc), conservative radio personality Mike Gallagher joins Ted Rall in branding bloggers “geeky losers in their basements cranking out crap on a computer,” confiding to his audience that he is “worried about this trend of legitimizing bloggers.” Chief among blogging’s faults?  “Anybody can do it.” Whereas

Rusty at the Jawa Report sends along a link to this astounding post in which blogress Kelly Ann Collins asks readers, with regard to Republican quasi-Messiah Jeff Gannon and his GAY PORN COCK OF LIES: […] have you seen this man? Have you slept with this man? Do you know this man? A local socialite, who wishes to remain anonymous, has teamed up with this site to offer a $10,000

“The thing is, Billy, it doesn’t even matter what kind of ‘blood’ I have in me, y’know?  Because the essence of my Native-Americanness—the essence of all Native Americanness—is a desire to fight the Establishment, and to do it on my terms.  I believe in an organic societal structure—not the forced inequities of a market system responsible for more genocide in the world than all of history’s Hitlers combined.  That’s the

Erstwhile Lebanese intifada leader Walid Jumblatt, quoted in the Washington Post: “It’s strange for me to say it, but this process of change has started because of the American invasion of Iraq,” explains Jumblatt. “I was cynical about Iraq. But when I saw the Iraqi people voting three weeks ago, 8 million of them, it was the start of a new Arab world.” Jumblatt says this spark of democratic revolt

As I survey the vast expanse of the cyber universe—my muscled man-chest puffed proudly before me, my ample penis pressed flush against my taut thigh, straining against its leather binding to point outward at the sprawling binary fields of my bailiwick—I, like Beowulf the Dane before me, am saddened before the site of my earthly burdens, and long to find women to bring to my realm so that I may

Sensing his own declining celebrity, serial smirker Ted Rall pokes his limp little stick at a new target:  blogs: Bloggers are ordinary people, many of them uneducated and with nothing interesting to say. They’re sitting in their rec rooms, regurgitating and spinning what real journalists have dug up through hard work. They don’t have sources, they don’t report, and no one holds them accountable when they make mistakes or flat