…just throw up one of those ‘voice inside my head’ posts and be done with it already. I wanna watch a Bronson flick. The one where he’s a troubled watermelon farmer.
July 22, 2004
The September 11 Report: like some sort of crazy Rorschach test for the politically motivated
Reuters: “9/11 panel points to Bush and Clinton failings” News24, South Africa: “9/11: Govt not to blame” MSNBC: “Report to slam ‘deep’ failings in government” Chicago Sun-Times: “9/11 report lets Bush off hook” Sydney Morning Herald: “Congress found wanting in terrorism report” SouthLondon.co.uk: “Government ‘not to blame’ over 9/11” …In other news, Sandy Berger is the victim of a “carefully orchestrated leak” / stole shit; and Michael Moore is fat
July 22, 2004
The September 11 Report: like some sort of crazy Rorschach test for the politically motivated
Reuters: “9/11 panel points to Bush and Clinton failings” News24, South Africa: “9/11: Govt not to blame” MSNBC: “Report to slam ‘deep’ failings in government” Chicago Sun-Times: “9/11 report lets Bush off hook” Sydney Morning Herald: “Congress found wanting in terrorism report” SouthLondon.co.uk: “Government ‘not to blame’ over 9/11” …In other news, Sandy Berger is the victim of a “carefully orchestrated leak” / stole shit; and Michael Moore is fat
July 22, 2004
A Poem from 1968, Revised by the Ghost of Richard Brautigan, 2004 (twentieth in a series)
A Boat O beautiful was the werewolf in his evil forest. We took him to the carnival and he started crying when he saw the Ferris wheel. Michael Moore eating a corndog. Electric Deepfried green and red tears golden brown tears flowed down his furry cheeks. He looked like a boat out on the dark water. [For his part, Michael Moore looked like a squat dinosaur gnawing the flesh off
July 22, 2004
protein wisdom: the commercial break
If you haven’t already done so, visit newsfeed online. Because the guy who runs it’s going to give me a free t-shirt for sending you over there. Sucker.
July 22, 2004
Ooooh, he’s a little runaway…
The Weekly Standard’s Matt Labash brings the funny. From “The Bon Jovi Advantage,” July 19: Kerry kicked off last week’s concert by mounting the stage with new sidekick John Edwards, who has managed to transform himself into Mr. Electricity since the primaries, when many of us in the vulture class thought the too-smooth-by-half Edwards was less suited to sell us his vision of America, more suited to sell us an
July 22, 2004
Ooooh, he’s a little runaway…
The Weekly Standard’s Matt Labash brings the funny. From “The Bon Jovi Advantage,” July 19: Kerry kicked off last week’s concert by mounting the stage with new sidekick John Edwards, who has managed to transform himself into Mr. Electricity since the primaries, when many of us in the vulture class thought the too-smooth-by-half Edwards was less suited to sell us his vision of America, more suited to sell us an
July 22, 2004
Teresa Heinz Kerry is introduced to ethnic cuisine
THK: “…And this is called a ‘bagel,’ you say?” catering lady: “Yes, a bagel. A poppy seed bagel, specifically.” THK: “And what are these black things all over the ‘bagel’…?” catering lady: “Those are poppy seeds. They’re quite delicious.” THK: “I see… Well, have them removed, and then I’ll have one ‘bagel’ without the little black things.” catering lady: “We do have plain bagels, Mrs. Kerry. Pre-made, without the poppy
July 22, 2004
Talking back to 80s music, 30
She could hear the highway breathing, you say…? Well, I’m no expert, but it sounds to me like she was doing more with the grass than just lying in it. Try offering her some Cool Ranch Doritos. Cool Ranch Doritos are a dead give away… “And She Was,” Talking Heads
July 21, 2004
UNrealistic
Kofi Annan to Israel: “Quit it with this fence thing already, would you? Your so-called ‘security measure’ is unfairly punishing Palestinian bomb makers, who—let’s face it—are hard working, highly-skilled craftsmen who have the right to make a living too. “…Now, enough talk. Who wants Cognac…?”