Search






Jeff's Amazon.com Wish List

Archive Calendar

November 2024
M T W T F S S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
252627282930  

Archives

Teresa Heinz Kerry is introduced to ethnic cuisine

THK: “…And this is called a ‘bagel,’ you say?”

catering lady: “Yes, a bagel.  A poppy seed bagel, specifically.”

THK: “And what are these black things all over the ‘bagel’…?”

catering lady: “Those are poppy seeds.  They’re quite delicious.”

THK: “I see… Well, have them removed, and then I’ll have one ‘bagel’ without the little black things.”

catering lady: “We do have plain bagels, Mrs. Kerry.  Pre-made, without the poppy seeds –”

THK: “– No, I wish this ‘bagel,’ with the swarm of blacks removed and discarded.  Do you understand me?  Or should I begin looking for another food service worker who won’t question my judgment?”

catering lady: “That won’t be necessary, ma’am.  One poppy seed bagel, hold the poppy seeds –”

THK: “Lighty toasted.”

catering lady: “Lightly toasted, very good.  And would you like cream cheese…?”

THK: “’Cream cheese,’ is it…?  Explain…”

9 Replies to “Teresa Heinz Kerry is introduced to ethnic cuisine”

  1. Joe says:

    So you admit this is a schmear job.

  2. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Lightly toasted.

  3. Silicon Valley Jim says:

    Just imagine what would happen if she were presented with czarnina.

  4. tee bee says:

    your ability to channel the soulless is terrifying. and really funny. but then, reading protein wisdom is whistling past the graveyard, isn’t it?

  5. jmflynny says:

    It’s frightening…I can actually hear her voice right now…

  6. Chrees says:

    “Where would you like me to hold the poppy seeds?”

    “I want you to hold them between your knees…”

  7. george says:

    It should be “I want you to hold them between your knees, you worthless peasant mongrel!!!”

  8. Ray Eckhart says:

    I suspect Chrees is channeling Jack Nicholson from Five Easy Pieces.

  9. David Crawford says:

    “Beulah, peel me a grape.”

    I’m No Angel, 1933

Comments are closed.