Overheard on the convention floor: ”Nothing here is real. Nothing. For example, Boston baked beans? Not baked beans at all. The misleading little candied shits.” — CNN’s Phil Hirschkorn
July 27, 2004
protein wisdom’s Democratic National Convention coverage, 7
Newsweek’s Eleanor Clift—who’s been sitting at the hotel bar all afternoon, sucking down sidecars—is insisting I call her “Lola.” I have no idea why. But I’m starting to get a really creepy vibe. update: Should Eleanor Clift ever offer to show you her Tweety Bird tattoo, decline graciously and excuse yourself at once. Trust me on this.
July 27, 2004
protein wisdom’s Democratic National Convention coverage, 7
Newsweek’s Eleanor Clift—who’s been sitting at the hotel bar all afternoon, sucking down sidecars—is insisting I call her “Lola.” I have no idea why. But I’m starting to get a really creepy vibe. update: Should Eleanor Clift ever offer to show you her Tweety Bird tattoo, decline graciously and excuse yourself at once. Trust me on this.
July 27, 2004
Teresa Heinz Kerry prepares for her address to the Democratic National Convention
THK: “…Of course I’m going to wear the diamond necklace. And the diamond earrings, too. Why wouldn’t I?” aide: “Well for one thing, because you run the risk of alienating Middle American voters by reminding them of your, uh…good fortune.” THK: “Feh. ‘Middle Americans.’ Let them eat cake. These are diamonds we’re talking about.”
July 27, 2004
protein wisdom’s Democratic National Convention coverage, 6
Had a great time at breakfast this morning with Fox News’ Brit Hume. After polishing off maybe 12 Bloody Marys between us, Brit and I began pelting George Stephanopoulos in the back of his head with sausage scraps and balled up toast bits. Stephanopoulos—sitting a few booths in front of us, eating a grapefruit half—finally just got up and left. Without ever looking back at us. And with his hair
July 27, 2004
protein wisdom’s Democratic National Convention coverage, 6
Had a great time at breakfast this morning with Fox News’ Brit Hume. After polishing off maybe 12 Bloody Marys between us, Brit and I began pelting George Stephanopoulos in the back of his head with sausage scraps and balled up toast bits. Stephanopoulos—sitting a few booths in front of us, eating a grapefruit half—finally just got up and left. Without ever looking back at us. And with his hair
July 27, 2004
My fifth brief conversation with a McIntosh apple
me: apple: me: apple: me: “So, whaddya say—truce?” apple: “Sure. Fine. Truce.” me: “Cool…” apple: me: “…So, you feel like maybe splitting a pizza or something?” apple: “Nah. Not really hungry right now.” me: apple: me: “…Sorry about the shovel thing, by the way…” apple: “Yeah, well, it’s not like I could fight back or anything, right?” me: “Because you don’t have any limbs –” apple: “– Because I don’t
July 27, 2004
protein wisdom’s Democratic National Convention coverage, 5
Up close, Jimmy Carter looks very much like an old and weathered Garry Shandling. And if I heard him correctly, he thinks the best way to fight terrorism is to have Americans “throw on an extra sweater in the chilly, chilly winter time.” Which hardly seems like an effective war strategy to me.
July 27, 2004
protein wisdom’s Democratic National Convention coverage, 5
Up close, Jimmy Carter looks very much like an old and weathered Garry Shandling. And if I heard him correctly, he thinks the best way to fight terrorism is to have Americans “throw on an extra sweater in the chilly, chilly winter time.” Which hardly seems like an effective war strategy to me.
July 26, 2004
protein wisdom’s Democratic National Convention coverage, 4
Gray Davis has the tiniest little hands and feet! And if you believe the buzz, Alan Colmes wears a stylish gold hoop through one of his nipples. Most likely his left one. …Oh, and $6.75 for bottled water and a soft pretzel? Democrats must really be rich.