Thank God for Bill!  Because without him, how would I know the joys of boycotting France, or agitating for a militarized border, or watching good, wholesome family entertainment in a continuous, wholesome no-spin loop? In between trying to coax young women into pleasuring themselves with fried chickpea patties, of course.* Tune it tonight at 8 EST!

A small man, possibly Asian, is standing and facing the Capitol with his arms folded and two small bags on rollers behind him.  He has threatened to blow himself up.  The west side of the Capitol is being evacuated.  Sharpshooters have their weapons trained on him. Developing…. (via FOXNews’ Brian Wilson, reporting live) **** update:  Four armed police officers rushed the man from behind and took him down.  They have

A very interesting—and telling—Olivier Guitta piece in the April 4 Weekly Standard updates us on how our friends the Saudis are helping us fight the terror war (subscriber’s only, so I’ll quote at length): The most important political event in Saudi Arabia in the last year may have been the appointment on February 9 of Abdullah bin Saleh al-Obaid, a hard-core Wahhabi, to the prestigious post of education minister. Al-Obaid

Sideways (2004) Directed by Alexander Payne.  Stars Paul Giamatti, Thomas Haden Church, Sandra Oh, and Virginia Madsen. Five words or less review: Days of whine and neurosis.* *highly recommended, nevertheless

First, though, the story.  From MSNBC: The chairman of one of the entertainment industry’s most important congressional committees says he wants to take the enforcement of broadcast decency standards into the realm of criminal prosecution. Rep. F. James Sensenbrenner III, R-Wis., told cable industry executives attending the National Cable & Telecommunications Assn. conference here on Monday that criminal prosecution would be a more efficient way to enforce the indecency regulations.

The thing holding me back is that I have no plot. Or characters.  Or setting.  And I haven’t yet done any of the research necessary to make the story seem real—though in my defense, I attribute this deficiency to not yet having a plot, characters, or setting. Ideas?  Leave them in the comments. 

Hannity:  “Did you get that?  Because I think I just really nailed that squinty concerned look thingy I do with my eyebrows..”

No story here, sorry.  I just missed writing “GAY PORN COCK OF LIES.” And the truth is, we writers sometimes grow quite attached to certain of our own phrases. I’m not too proud to admit that. **** update:  BECAUSE OF THE HYPOCRISY!