My inside sources tell me that, in exchange for the support of the two Senate Republican leaders (oh yes they are, too!), the President has promised McCain one full day of Oval Office access — including getting to sit in the big chair and push some of the buttons on the phone — and has allowed Graham to come along, too, “provided the little swish doesn’t touch anything.” McCain reportedly

You know your “free” country is headed in a dubious direction when government combines with organized mob identity politics warriors to engage in religious persecution under the phony rationale that, in a supposedly free and market based country, denial of baking services is a civil rights crime, there being but one bakery to choose from, and no takers anywhere ever for gay and lesbian money. Whereas hectoring and boycotting Christian

And here I thought Heaven was kinda sad and wannabe sordid. I mean, Bro.  That robe.  And your coloring.  I was never a doctor — and Lord knows I’m not studying medicine up here, save for the little bit of chemistry I’ve been dabbling in after watching a “Breaking Bad” marathon and then scoring that Bunsen Burner off of River Phoenix in exchange for some sandals and a tube of

Wait, you mean school fatalities can be caused by something other than an assault weapon?  Because I had heard otherwise. Reached for comment, a Beretta 9mm semi-auto pistol just kinda shrugged, then, remarkably, didn’t shoot anyone — though gun-control advocates were quick to point out that it probably really wanted to, and for that reason alone should be banned banned banned!*