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August 2006
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Archives

August 2006

“The Ayatollah’s Answer” (or, how I learned to stop worrying about the bomb and worry, instead, that some crazy Persians might actually USE the freakin’ thing)

From the WSJ: Anyone who still thinks a nuclear-armed Iran won’t pose a serious, and perhaps mortal, threat ought to consult this week’s bipartisan staff report from the House Intelligence Committee. Drawing on open-source information and mindful of classified background, the report lays out the history of Iranian nuclear deception and its attempts to promote trouble throughout the Middle East. It notes that “Iran probably has an offensive biological weapons

9 tentative retirement plans for Pluto now that it’s been ignomoniously removed from the solar system in the same way JD Salinger’s short stories have been removed from most American Lit anthologies

Join the team of Armstrong and Kos as expert financial consultant to the stars Wait 5 weeks, replace Tony Kornheiser on “Monday Night Football” Six words:  “So You Think You Can Dance?” Challenge Pat Buchanan for the title, “Coldest Rock in the Universe” Buy a mess of them Tony Robbins tapes, get rich, finally start living a little, you know? “Well, I’ve always really wanted to learn to paint.” Apply

“Al-Borz News Service: President Ahmadinejad Expected to Announce Iran’s ‘Nuclear Birth‘“

From MEMRI: The Iranian news service Al-Borz, which is known to have access to sources in the Iranian government, predicted that on the first anniversary of Iranian President Ahmadinejad’s government, in late August 2006, Ahmadinejad is expected to announce what the news service called Iran’s “nuclear birth.” In addition, an August 23, 2006 article about Iran’s reply to the incentives proposal, that was posted on the Iranian Foreign Ministry-affiliated website,

red pills found behind the sofa cushions, green pills edition (prolepsis 2)

Just woke from another of my vivid blue agave dreams (hundreds of naked Indians labor to build an enormous casino inside the hollowed-out carcass of a giant, magical buffalo, the buffet to which features nothing but kippers, wild salmon, and owl kabobs)—only to find a curious note from my hoodie. Seems he’s been “living a lie” and has decided to run off with a pastel short sleeve button down Madras

“Report: Iran planning nuclear ‘surprise‘“

Hmm.  Maybe I left the fallout shelter too soon. From the Jerusalem Post: A senior official in Teheran said Wednesday that in the next few days, a “surprise” was expected regarding Iran’s nuclear program, Al-Jazeera reported. Teheran’s apparent refusal to suspend uranium enrichment set the stage for a showdown at the UN Security Council later this month. The United States said Wednesday that a proposal by Iran for nuclear negotiations

Former teen idol Leif Garrett comments on Paramount Pictures’ decision to end its 14-year relationship with Tom Cruise over his increasingly outspoken proselytizing for Scientology

Garrett:  “I’m not much into the Scientology myself, but I did once cut a half-dozen Paxils with a line of Flake, and I gotta admit, for a few moments there, that shit had me believing in space aliens, too. “Not only that, but it cost less than joining the Church, and there were no funny hats involved—unless you count waking up on Mulholland with a passed out Adrian Zmed sitting

For the record&#8212

A number of people have contacted me privately about Deb Frisch’s reported arrest of a few days ago.  So far as we can determine at this time, that arrest in Eugene is unrelated to Frisch’s actions concerning my family and me. Also for the record:  pulled pork sandwiches for lunch are so decadent and naughty that it’s almost like eating a big bunful of Satan.  Not at all related, I

“Dutch F-16s escort Northwest flight back to Amsterdam”

From the AP: Dutch F-16s escorted a Northwest Airlines flight bound for India back to Amsterdam’s Schiphol Airport today after the crew reported some passengers were behaving suspiciously, authorities said. Several passengers on Northwest Airlines Flight NW0042 to Bombay were taken off the plane for questioning after it landed safely, airport spokeswoman Pamela Kuypers said. Others were questioned at the gate. The Dutch Defense Ministry and airport authorities said the

“Is the Bush Doctrine Dead?”

In a lengthy piece in the WSJ, Norman Podhoretz says not so fast: In recent months, we have been bombarded with reports of the death of the Bush Doctrine. Of course, there have been many such reports since the doctrine was first promulgated at the start of what I persist in calling World War IV (the Cold War being World War III). Almost all of them were written by the

A note about my internet teevee show

My new show for Hot Air—“The CITIZEN JOURNALIST REPORT w/ Jeff Goldstein”—will debut on Friday (not tomorrow, as was previously mentioned) and will stay up on the Hot Air site (and maybe YouTube) over the weekend. To you, this means absolutely nothing, really.  To me, however, it means three days of humiliation rather than one.  Which, well—that’s what you get for not accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior, I