My new show for Hot Air—“The CITIZEN JOURNALIST REPORT w/ Jeff Goldstein”—will debut on Friday (not tomorrow, as was previously mentioned) and will stay up on the Hot Air site (and maybe YouTube) over the weekend.
To you, this means absolutely nothing, really. To me, however, it means three days of humiliation rather than one. Which, well—that’s what you get for not accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior, I guess.
Meantime, be sure to visit Hot Air tomorrow and Thursday for Bethany from RealVerse.com, who is a real pro, and who is much easier on the eyes than yours truly.
Unless you happen to be a gay man, that is. Then it’s more of a draw.
I love you, Jeff!!
<that sounded sincere, didn’t it?>
I still think one of you guys needs to host “Kerfuffle Watch.” Allah wouldn’t even answer my mail about that. But dammit, the troll quality has been declining over the intertubes. I think that Fish and Wildlife Services need to get involved sooner than later, before the whole trollosystem suffers a catastrophic, douchemic collapse.
and bethany’s got nothing on you… well, except for great looks… a cute smile… dang, she’s probably not even a Joo.
Oh, my… that’s like three strikes against you, isn’t it?
Whanna know how to stun a troll? Check the last comments of the Gored thread . Apparently facts confuse and disorient them, don`t even have to be rude.
Shill.
Fucking sold out dincha?
Gottdamned intertubes, anyway.
What, you’re channeling Tony Kornheiser now?
I’m sure it will be distilled brilliance. If you remembered my advice.
Dammit.
I’m sure Jeff’s put together a tight, well-edited Charles Kuraltesque segment, featuring pie, and the terrorists who buy them.
My suggestion of a vblog equivalent to 60 Minutes ‘Point/Counterpoint’ segment titled: “Point/Fuck You” also went unresponded to by Allah, alas.
Jesus died for somebody’s sins – but not mine.
— Patty Smith
SB: return
I understand there’s a three-day waiting period.
The cutie they had up today was worth looking at. You?
I for one, am looking foward to our new CITIZEN JOURNALIST overlord. Will you be serving tequila?
The problem with the “trollosystem” or more correctly “trollosphere”, is bloggo warming , caused by huge emissions of noxious gases, traced to said trolls. Fish and Wildlife aren`t sure if the trolls are established enough to reproduce on their own, but are looking at a limited,one time hunt to thin the herd to manageable numbers. The results of this hunt….er…study will be the foundation of future hunts….er…studies.
TW:”natural”…just savour the irony!
You know, Jeff, if you’re nervous about this, you could always play some Czech pornography behind you.
http://ace.mu.nu/archives/193398.php
Of course, Ace would take credit, but it might distract from any demerits in your presentation.
Actually… play a littlee video of the ‘dillo and all will be well. Seriously… even if it is nothing more then the little guy passed out in a pool of his own sick wearing your wife’s unmentionables… or eating pudding… whatever…
TW The film is going to surface someday.. may as well be under your own terms.
I don’t remember that. That’s a fine idea, actually. Albeit impossible under the current management.
Once I put together that leveraged buyout, though—look out.
Dayum. You’re not kidding.
In my best Nelson Muntz impression,
HA HA
I dunno, dude. Thanks to fuckin’ Allah I’m now also carrying a torch for Mary Katherine Ham.
TW: Couple. No shit. Allah, I’ll thumbwrestle you. Two out of three, let’s go.
“Private Joker, do you believe in the Virgin Mary?”
“Sir, no sir!”
“Private Joker. I don’t believe I heard you correctly.”
“Sir, the private said, ‘No, sir!, sir!”
“Why you little maggot, you make me want to vomit!”
[Slap]
“You goddamn little communist heathen, you had best sound off that you love the Virgin Mary, or I’m gonna stomp your guts out! Now you do love the Virgin Mary, don’t you!”
“Sir, negative, sir!”
“Private joker, are you trying to offend me?”
“Sir, negative, sir!”
“Sir, the private believes that any answer he gives will be wrong…!”
Hmmm.
I used to deliver the Citizen Journal as a kid.
Thank God I got that out of the way, becuase those messenger bags weren’t that big and I have no idea how I would squish a journalist into one.
Plus, my dad insisted I open the screen door and put it in there. I never would have gotten any tips if the screen was all smushed out with a face imprint.
*sob*
And me still on dialup… downloading five-minute videos at 2.6KB/s is just not my thing, if you know what I mean.
Ah, well, the life of an aphid on a remote leaf node isn’t all that bad. If nothing else I still have pie.
Regards,
Ric
tw: I might suffer for my own art, but not somebody else’s.
Or a straight woman. Which I hope Bethany is.
I hate to rain on the parade but as a Southern Baptist the humiliation never stops. Never.
Burn, heathens.
Jeff! I can’t wait to see you!
On a related note, check out my very first video blog. I did it for the Houston Chron group, but you can preview it. It’s for the video group for the Houston Chron and it’s sort of taking those who don’t go to political blogs through the sites. Of course I mention you and Ace and Allah! I love you guys!
CHECK IT OUT!
I’ve seen your picture; I think even the gay guys would go for Bethany.
Damn, Bethany’s … well. Jeff, unless you’ve prettied up since January or whenever that freakin’ cold blogger bash was, is there some reason you’re up all weekend instead of her?
Go check out RWS. She deserves a TV show, and she’s better looking in her video than in her photo on the site (which is saying something). She doesn’t have a tripod, but I assume some of us might be happy to take that role.
RWS, I loved it! I’ll check out some of the other blogs you mentioned and certainly I bookmarked you.
I don’t fit neatly into any of those categories, but I’m guessing from your commentary that I would find them interesting. And interesting is good.
And full disclousure here. The Chronicle is my hands-down favorite client. I’m reluctant to say much more, but newspapers are my clients and Houston is most impressive.
And for any cynics out there, no, they are not the most profitable. They are just the smartest.
Shared.
I’ll upgrade my internet jalopy for “Point/Fuck You,” but until then, all of you with dancing Goldsteins and photorealistically detailed fantasy-Bethanys can go to hell.
TW: Theres, Greek god of pointing at stuff.
Oh, RWS, you are truly just the cutest thing. Good presentation.
Jeff, I’m very eager to see your show. I think you should get drunk first. Or maybe I will.
It’s my guess that even gay men would prefer bethany.
Nothing says “disturbingly wierd” than an english prof.
Pinto, my man–we need to get Jeff a t-shirt that says that.
I thought it was a given that we should all be pre-loaded. Someone here needs some serious help. Sadly, we have no way of knowing who that is.
Well Pablo, I’ll know that I have a problem if I get drunk, put Jeff’s show on continuous loop (or repeatedly hit the enter key), and sob.
Drunk?!?!
I was thinking more along the lines of mescaline, a salt shaker full of blow, some ether, a couple grapefruits, and two dozen bars of soap.
And, man, that Bethany sure is something to behold.
I wonder what she thinks of slightly overweight, early 30’s married men with monitor tans?
The reviews are in:
“She deserves a TV show”—Dan Collins
“I loved it” —lunarpuff
“truly just the cutest thing”—MayBee
“very natural and engaging”—Tai Chi Wawa
RWS,
Remember this side of stardom when they’re running your “True Hollywood Story” on E!.
Don’t forget the well-balanced hunting knife.
You’re talking about Andrew Sullivan again, aren’t you?
For G-d’s sake, the man has suffered enough! Can’t you leave him alone?
Tai Chi Wawa,
My true Hollywood story would be the most boring viewing on television EVER.
Trust me on this.
I can’t even go to Hot Air anymore with that smoking hot Bethany on the front page. Honestly, that woman is so hot it hurts to look at her for any length of time.
Jeff, you have a couple of tough acts to follow. Hope your video’s got flags, fireworks, and a marching band—with cheerleaders.
TCW
Jeff don’t need no marching bands,flags or fireworks!! He’s got riverdancing midget hookers,Sea monkey kings,pea coated dolphins,pills behind the couch,Billy Jack and a recalitrant freakin’ armadillo!!!…Unless them cheerleaders be naked,we gots what we need.OH YEAH….and we got Verc too!!
TW:Yeah,it was my DECISION to post this drivel,but hell,I knows whut I likes,and a deliquent,recalcitrant,ornery “dillo???…I like!!