What is this, a minstrel show?  The armadillo will not dance for the Man. Period.

Merrick:  “I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!” Me: “Oh yeah?  What are you trying to say—that you hate black people?” Merrick:  “I AM A HUMAN BEING!” Me: “Uh huh.  Not really an apology, is it?  You twisted, lumpy, racist hater.”

On his “Morning in America” radio show a few days back, Bill Bennett—in the context of responding to a caller who’d suggested that making abortion illegal would create more workers 20 years hence—said: But I do know that it’s true that if you wanted to reduce crime, you could—if that were your sole purpose, you could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down.

“‘The President wants Gonzales. That’s what is dragging this thing out. They’re sending out people to say he is conservative as if by telling us that enough we will say,“‘sure, he really is one of us.” That is not going to happen.’” Indeed.  I appreciate the President’s loyalty to his pal, but unless he’s thinking he’ll put Gonzales up as a sacrificial lamb he believes will be filibustered—and I doubt

me: “So, I’m thinking about giving my ex-girlfriend a call –” Guinness: “Bad idea.” me: “Yeah?” me: “…Eh, you’re probably right.  Maybe I’ll just make a sandwich instead.”