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My eighth brief conversation with the ghost of John Merrick

Merrick:  “I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!”

Me: “Oh yeah?  What are you trying to say—that you hate black people?”

Merrick:  “I AM A HUMAN BEING!”

Me: “Uh huh.  Not really an apology, is it?  You twisted, lumpy, racist hater.”

15 Replies to “My eighth brief conversation with the ghost of John Merrick”

  1. AWG says:

    I’ll bet John Merrick wanted New Orleans to be destroyed!  ELEPHANTMAN MCHITLERBURTON!!!

  2. Jeff Goldstein says:

    I question the timing.

  3. corvan says:

    Mendoooza!

  4. JRez says:

    End this silly side show and bring us the armadillo!

  5. corvan says:

    And name him Mendoooza.

  6. me says:

    “I smell varmint poontang!”

  7. Doug F says:

    “And the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang.”

  8. Merrick: “Let’s see how smooth of an apology you can delivery with a tumorous neurofibromatosis mass growing out of your frickin’ palate!

    Turing = once, as in Once is all you’d care to try it, me bucko…

  9. Dave Munger says:

    Hey Elephant Man, why don’t you just substitute “Jew” for “animal” and then see how what you just said sounds!

    The real meaning of hello

  10. Ian Wood says:

    I really didn’t want to say anything…but John Merrick was a Rove plant.

    Surely you all know this.

  11. JWebb says:

    Damn. I need an updated BINGO! card.

  12. NukemHill says:

    Jeff,

    I want to say this in a relatively unpopulated thread, so that you might actually notice it.

    You have been an invaluable source of rational analysis and discourse over the last few weeks, in particular, and the last year plus, in general.  Your grasp of linguistics is profound (challenging my vocabulary-addled brain to no end), and your willingness to take others to task, unflinchingly, for their sloppiness and willful negligence, is much needed these days.

    You have, in particular, been a complete joy to read re: the aftermath of Katrina.  Your ability to dig into the dreck published by the MSM and come up with the salient, though largely wrong, points that they are trying to foist on the public is a service to us all.  And your analysis of the Bennett kurfuffle is spot-on.

    Please know that you are deeply appreciated.  Had I the cash right now, I’d send you a few DVDs, as a small, insignificant, miniscule token of my esteem.  As it is, I will keep you on my list, and attend to those needs when the ability arises.

    Keep up the good work.  I hope these words can lift whatever flagging spirits you may possess at the moment.  Thank you again.

  13. Jeff Goldstein says:

    No, thank you!  It’s nice to hear, really.

  14. OHNOES says:

    What NukemHill said, only, of course, less racist and sexist than the way he said it.

  15. CoralHead says:

    Yeah.  What NukemHill said.  Thanks and keep it up!

Comments are closed.