You won’t know who is who, or why any of this is happening; and the formatting is a bit off, and I haven’t italicized where appropriate…but there’s gratuitous sex and drugs.  So read it if you want to…       Three shots, maybe four, and then . . . what? All Jake knows is that he’s outside now, walking through the near-empty commons, past a boisterous snarl of shabbily-dressed, fatly-dredded teens—trying to

Anyone know how to record both ends of a Yahoo Messenger (or other) voice chat conversation?—or, alternately, how to record both ends of an internet telephone conversation with very clear quality? (Both parties are using a USB headset mic to input sound.) Please let me know, in the comments or via email. And be advised:  THE FUTURE OF CITIZEN JOURNALISM DEPENDS UPON YOU AND YOUR EXPERTISE! CHARGE!

Received this little anecdote via email: T. Bubba Bechtol, part-time City Councilman from Midland, TX, was asked on a local live radio talk show the other day just what he thought of the allegations of torture of the Iraqi prisoners. His reply prompted his ejection from the studio, but to thunderous applause from the audience. His reply:  “If hooking up an Iraqi prisoner’s scrotum to a car’s battery cables will

I think I’m going to be sick.  First Saddam, then Jimmy Carter, and now….this.

From ABC News: [In Glendale], a Metrolink commuter train struck a vehicle, derailed and sideswiped another train early Wednesday, killing nine people and injuring more than 100 others, authorities said. Firefighters picked through twisted wreckage scattered across the tracks and carried wounded passengers from the trains to a triage center set up in a nearby parking lot. “At this time, we believe we have nine fatilities,” Fire Chief William Battmare

Leary:  “Tune in. Turn on.  Drop out.  And when you’re finished with that, take some time to enjoy delicious light and buttery Town House™ crackers—alone or with your favorite toppings…! “Mmmmmm.  Goooood cracker!”

THE PASSION FOR PRESIDENT IN 2008!  EAT JESUS’ ELECTORAL DUST, HILLARY!  THE LORD NEEDS NO OHIO RECOUNT!

In an otherwise prosaic Washington Post article on the likelihood of a U.S. first strike on Iran, one passage really stands out: “We are eagerly looking for the Americans commandos to come to Iran since they are chicks which would rapidly be picked up by our eagles,” declared Iran’s Intelligence Minister, according to a report from the Islamic Republic of Iran Broadcasting service. Uh huh.  Get back to me after

How could you?  How could you snub Jesus?  JESUS CHRIST DIED FOR YOUR SINS AND YET YOU SHUT HIM OUT OF THE MAJOR OSCAR CATEGORIES!  YOUR PAGAN AWARDS ARE INAUTHENTIC!—YOUR POLITICAL BIASES ILLUMINATED BY THE BLINDING LIGHT OF GOD’S OWN TRUTH! (Good call on the Moore snub, though.  Because, y’know, what a fat bastard that guy is, eh?)* **** update:  DO NOT TAUNT THE LORD!*

Practically shunned by the children of Yahweh, and completely shunned by Barking Moonbat Early Warning System, protein wisdom has decided to fight back and host its own Best Humor Blog Award for 2004. Best of luck, contestants!