So I was thinking about suing the Pharoah, y’know, for back pay — but if you’re going to put it that way…. Note to my attorney: “we’ll always have Big Tobacco…”
April 12, 2004
No Rhyme nor Reason
To: Federal Bureaucracy From: Federal Bureaucracy Re: Federal Bureaucracy Important: Please remember to alert self of the need for self to check up on the progress of self. Or else, have self send a memo reminding self to remind self. Also, be on the lookout for people on the lookout looking at us. 70 what now? Really? Well, make it 71 then. Give ourselves something to do, for Chrissakes. That’s what we’re paying
April 12, 2004
Calling All Lawyers, Those Who Know Some, or Those with a Knowledge of Import Copyright Law
Hey all. I just received the following email regarding a UK import DVD I offer for sale online. I offer the DVD for sale internationally, not just in North America. Am I really breaking the law? Thanks in advance for the feedback. Greetings, I’m writing on behalf of Acorn Media Publishing. It has come to our attention that you have been selling copies of the Region 2 DVD release of
April 12, 2004
Seder? I hardly know her…
Knock knock. “Who’s there?” The Angel of Death. “The Angel of Death wh — oh, wait a sec! You must be looking for the Egyptians! Two doors down, big house on your right. If you pass the locusts you’ve gone too far.” Yes, thanks, sorry. And apologies for interrupting your dinner. What’s that you’re eating, anyway — some sort of fish…?
April 11, 2004
Billy Crystal Replies to Sandy Koufax
“…That Mickey Mantle could sure hit, couldn’t he? And fast, too…! Like the wind, only blond and with muscles.”
April 11, 2004
An Easter Message from Hall of Fame Pitcher Sandy Koufax
“Anybody feel like maybe having a catch? Or if you’d rather, we can toss the Frisbee. Anybody? Nice day out…”
April 11, 2004
I really have been away a long time
Wow, nobody told me Maureen Dowd had her own blog. Salty! Think Rocky Horror Picture Show meets Cory Kahane. Yeah, nobody does. My point exactly. Anyway, turns out John Kerry is hung like a Budweiser Clydesdale. Which, who knew? Must remember to giggle next time some flunky calls him “deep.” In related news: Oh boy, is that ham…? Christ I love Easter.
April 11, 2004
Easter Bunnies
I haven’t heard back from the Denver Channel with regard to the missing Aquadog story (see below), but in the meantime, a reader over at WorldWideRant brought to my attention the story of Mary Toft and the rabbit babies, lifted from the Museum of Hoaxes. Best read while enjoying a nice creme-filled Cadbury Egg: In late 1726 the surgeon John Howard was called to the house of Mary Toft in