Dear United States of America — Fuck you. I hate your culture, I hate your people, I hate your goverment. XBoxes are cool, though. Now give me my financial aid check, bitch. Sincerely, Rene Gonzalez PS. And you best find me a job, too. You owe me. Because, y’know, Clint Eastwood shot a gun in that movie — and because I’m from Puerto Rico and all. Asshole. **** QandO has
April 29, 2004
Scenes from the 9-11 Commission Hearings, Private Session, The Oval Office
Jamie Gorelick: “Mr. President, Mr. Vice President, let’s begin, if we might, by addressing a few of these July and August 2001 intelligence briefings –“ Alberto Gonzales: “– Uh, Madame Commissioner? As counsel for the President, I’d like to remind the commission members that this is not a criminal proceeding –“ Jamie Gorelick: “– I’m aware of that, Mr. Gonzales –“ Alberto Gonzales: “– that this is not some, y’know,
April 28, 2004
Talking back to 80s music, 6
Well then let’s compromise, okay? I don’t leave you hangin’ on like a yo-yo, you don’t grab my ass every time I get up to go to the refrigerator. Deal? Freak… **** for Kathy. Wham! “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go”
April 28, 2004
If you really want to hear about it…
Yup. One of the great American novels, in my opinion. Certainly in the top 10. If you haven’t done so yet, you owe it to yourself to read it. …I meant now. Go. **** Related: For fiction lovers, this is very sad news. Really.
April 28, 2004
Obligatory
Goody! — more protest coverage! Personally, I can’t get enough of this stuff. But then, I love pretty colors. And underarm hair. Your mileage may vary. Which reminds me: Q: How many anarchists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Change it yourself! You’re not the boss of us! **** [update: That’s right, worker bee, we just killed and ate a goat. What are you gonna do about it?]
April 28, 2004
Afternoon Delight
For a good two weeks now, my son’s been begging me to take him off roading in the Jeep. So, it being a beautiful Colorado afternoon and all, the two of us will be heading up into the mountains here shortly to wrestle a few trails. He made me promise to let him drive (at least, I think that’s what he made me promise; he’s still a bit heavy on
April 28, 2004
Yeah, this is what Kennedy had in mind…
“Ask not what your country can do for you….” [h/t Tim Worstall] update: Did I mention God Bless Freakin’ America?
April 28, 2004
Monkeys Typing
To: “fuck Israel” Google searcher From: protein wisdom … At least buy her a few drinks first — maybe even tell her she looks pretty in blue and white. I mean, this ain’t your sister you’re trying to bang here. Cheap anti-Zionist bastard. Sincerely, protein wisdom
April 28, 2004
Pocono memories
“– and then da Rabbi says to da politician, ‘feh, you think if I could do that with my tongue I’d be wasting so much time in a synagogue…?’ Bada bing, schlegeggal!* “…Oy, I hear crickets chirping… [tap tap] Is this ting on… Because, y’know, I got bills to pay…” **** *No idea. Just a sound my Uncle Irv makes when he wants more potato pancakes.