Sonny: “I’m robbing a bank because they got money here. That’s why I’m robbing it.”
May 13, 2004
Talking back to 80s music, 15
You go ahead and jump. Me, I’m fine here on the couch with a bag of barbecue pork rinds and the elastic waistband on my sweatpants, thank you very much.
May 12, 2004
Words that just sound funny, #31 (Guest Selection): “tweezers”*
eg. “Are those your tweezers?” “Yes, those tweezers belong to me.” **** *courtesy, the bride of protein wisdom; in an alternate universe, #31 would likely be filled by, say, “turnip” or “parsnip.”
May 12, 2004
Words that just sound funny, #31 (Guest Selection): “tweezers"*
eg. “Are those your tweezers?” “Yes, those tweezers belong to me.” **** *courtesy, the bride of protein wisdom; in an alternate universe, #31 would likely be filled by, say, “turnip” or “parsnip.”
May 12, 2004
News
Q: What do you get when you cross “60 Minutes II” and a plate of roast duck with Chilean pepper sauce? A: There’s a “60 Minutes II“…? Hunh. Who knew. **** related: Oh lord. update: this covers things nicely. Which reminds me: you know what I’d really like to see? Ordinary people demonstrating outside of the headquarters of various major news agencies. No puppet heads, no scarves over their faces,
May 12, 2004
Candidate Bill McKay begs to differ with Senator George McGovern, 1971
McKay: “I don’t think we have a shit in common.”
May 12, 2004
Ode on an idealized idea of the Teamsters, c. 1968; revised 2004
“The Symbol” – variations on a theme When I was hitch-hiking down to Boulder, Peter Pan stopped and picked me up. He was driving a truckload of Angus beef cattle to Denver. “Do you like being a truckdriver better than you do a lost boy?” I asked. “Yeah,” Peter Pan said. “Hoffa is a lot better to us forever boys than Captain Hook ever was. “The old fart.”
May 12, 2004
The People’s Republic of DR
Well now. My crayon box only cost me $4.99. For 64 colors. And it came with a built in sharpener. Somebody’s getting screwed, I’d say… **** update: link “fixed”
May 12, 2004
The People’s Republic of DR
Well now. My crayon box only cost me $4.99. For 64 colors. And it came with a built in sharpener. Somebody’s getting screwed, I’d say… **** update: link “fixed”
May 12, 2004
Scenes from my driveway, continued
Deadbeat neighbor: “Be careful pulling out of your garage, okay? Somebody broke a bottle in the driveway last night. I think I got most of the glass up with a broom, but I’m not sure. I was pretty drunk.” Me: “‘Somebody’ broke a bottle…?” Deadbeat neighbor: “Yeah. I think it might have been me, if you want the truth.” Me: “I do. Which reminds me: John Kerry is an asshole.”