From Australia’s The Age, the tale of a compleat wanker:
A Brisbane woman stabbed a male friend twice in the shower after he refused to stop masturbating in front of her children.
Defence lawyers for Kylie Louise Wilson, 28, said the mother of two “lost it” when her friend of six years, Daniel Peter Blair, went on a masturbation marathon on April 6 last year.
Brisbane’s District Court this morning heard Mr Blair had showed up at Wilson’s unit at Birkdale unit, in Redland Shire, where he took amphetamines before having a shower.
Whilst in the bathroom, Mr Blair, 32, began pleasuring himself, before moving to Wilson’s bedroom, where he rolled around naked on her bed and continued his lewd conduct.
He returned to the bathroom for more and was busted by Wilson, who was attempting to bath her three-and-a-half year-old daughter.
The court heard Mr Blair refused her repeated requests to stop, prompting her to fetch a knife from the kitchen which she used to stab him twice in the left shoulder.
Heroically, he was undeterred:
Crown prosecutors said Mr Blair paused only to put on his shorts and flee outside to wait for police to arrive, but was again overcome by the urge.
“Despite his injury, it seems (Mr Blair) continued to masturbate while in the garage,” the prosecutor said.
Seems, though, that he’s an all right guy when he’s off the drugs.
Furriskey follows up with this:
Sad when someone has to get completely wasted to drub his own ding.
Is this compliments of Photoshop? Because if it is real, it is beyond comedy.
prompting her to fetch a knife from the kitchen which she used to stab him twice in the left shoulder.
“Despite his injury, it seems (Mr Blair) continued to masturbate while in the garage,†the prosecutor said.
She should have stabbed him once in each shoulder.
Did he have a hoodie or was he cut? It might have affected the finishing time, although the speed could have had a bit of an impact as well, or so I’m told.
A "masturbation marathon". Do you get a T-shirt with this?
prompting her to fetch a knife from the kitchen which she used to stab him twice in the left shoulder.
At which he changed hands, convincing himself that it was somebody else.
You have to admire the workmanlike attitude displayed in that Australian guy wanking himself. I consider myself an expert in wanking, yet I would have a hard time doing it with a knife wound.
Bravo Sir. Bravo.
I bet that later on he took his hand out for dinner and a romantic movie and when he got back home he threw his hand on his bed and jumped in after it!
Hey I wasnt to sure whether to continue masturbating using that blade….it fucking hurt and not to say I did not have any kids in my permission giving me permission if you know what I mean I am the guy who got caught and no flogging was done to satisfy a magistrates decision to enble a sure quick witted lesbian ho bag fucked up stripper who walks and talks like a man, she even planted fake drugs in my sneakers and a used syringe so that I would get caught, she also took camera shots like a mini snuff movie all of her very own and shared them around her friends. Take care all of you and keep writing funny shit cos shell die extreme cancer one day soon I hope.Yours sincerely Daniel
The chick involved just fucking hung herself!!!!!! Must of been the guilt of lying in court dumb slut i told you cancer or something would get her and no it wasnt me she left a full suicidal note and guess what her boyfriend told her to piss off so she went acrosss the road and tried to hang herself in a tree but it brokem \then got tied up in a fence which just finalised yhe job if you know what i mean. I mean how fucking bizarre………not to say the least and yes i occasionally treat my hand to a laughing dinner or two thank you Daniel
[…] the Australian guy, apparently, who was stabbed for masturbating in the shower brings sad news: Comment by Furnurgen Dirty on 9/27 @ 7:02 am # |Edit […]
I’ve seen some effed up stuff on this blog but, DAMN!
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