Two weeks ago, I got hit by triple witching when all my insurance premiums came up for payment at the same time. So I smoked butts that I keep in a cookie tin against the eventuality, severely restricted my beer consumption, and defrosted lots of stuff from the top-loading freezer to chop up and toss into the slow cooker, much to the consternation of the monsterlings, and finished the last week with $1.39 in the checking account and almost a quarter tank of gas in the van, while Mary was gone for 10 days on a trip with the students (having broken the bank by sending son #1 Brendan money for his excursion to Prague). Friday came, with triple witching for payment. So, today, I piled the girl and the other boy into the van to take them to the mall to satisfy delayed gratification of various sorts.
But the mall wasn’t open.
Because some jackass had emailed a bomb scare in, and the whole place was closed for the day.
I took the kids to McDonald’s and then K-Mart, which I hate, because even on Saturday they have only 2 cashiers at the 6 aisles, and neither one knows what she’s doing, and half of the products require price checks.
On the other hand, I managed to get the kids and do the grocery shopping on Friday, before I picked up Mary at the airport. So, at least I didn’t have to go to Costco on the weekend. I love women, I really do. I’m glad they’re not like us. But why cannot they have more awareness of their physical surroundings? The shopping cart jams are horrific. I know I’m a heel for saying it, but it’s true.
Postscript: The girl missed the mom very much, so they talked me into sending them both off for a well-earned rest at a spa in Southern Vermont next week, while they’ve got spring vacation. Spa. Vacation. Pampering. R&R. It’s been 5 years since I’ve done anything like that.
Jeebus … you’ve got a short attention span. It’s been 28 years since I did anything like that.
Suck it up.
It’s been 28 years since you went on a vacation meant for you, Diana? Wow. And I thought I was Catholic.
I’m just a Pedestrian. The vacations were FOR THE CHILDREN!
BTW, regarding this, Diana: I would, I could, you should.
I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree . . .
. . . the deep heart’s core.
You have been working on your funny.
I am always being most serious when I seem most ludicrous. Hazard of being contrary.
But really, that is some beautiful water, Diana, and it sounds as though it’s time you did something for yourself. God bless. Seriously.
Thanks, Dan. I’m considering it.
I went 270 days straight in Afghanistan before my first day off…that was to fly all the way back to the US to close on a house and move. In subzero weather. Then get the flu and fly back for 90 more days straight.
Sometimes, I don’t mind a day of grocery shopping and K-Mart with the kids…
And God bless you, too, Major John. And all the other grown-ups who keep us safe.
As for you, Diana, stop considering, and LIVE. Make your life, in its own humble way, as glamorous to you as you can; for then, your children will want to live that way as well.
Dan, of course I wouldn’t mind a little time off at someplace nice. I am going to try this summer in Alaska. And no, I shan’t go anywhere near Fort Richardson.
I hate it when that happens. I shouldn’t care, but the only pet groomer in the area who shaves goats is in that frackin’ mall. And the damned goat really needed shaving.
I’d do it myself, but the goat doesn’t like that I always give her a goatee.
MJ … I’m driving down your way in June to say hello to Gail. Dinner’s on me, if you’re there.
Dan … consider $300K asking price, when the guy bought it for only $80K in 2000. I’m workin’ on it.
Suddenly doesn’t sound like so great a deal, Diana.
Major John–
I lived in Alaska, working on the pipeline, before I went to graduate school (in Valdez, before the tanker disaster).
That’s true here too.
The odd thing is, it still says Kmart on the building facade, but a few months ago some wise guys invaded it overnight and turned it into a Sears inside.
Trying to dodge Kenmore appliances is like walking through the “Fireball” pinball machine, that spinning thing in the middle throws you into cannister vacs, micros, and craftsmen socket sets at random (still only 2 cashiers though—perhaps a flipper emulation?)
you got to come home to move? I shall kill RTO when he returns. ;D
last deployment, we closed on the house the day before he left. and then about a month later I moved in. actually, RTO was a very good husband and had done a lot of packing before he left. (aaaaalll the books) and his mom helped unpack the kitchen, so he couldn’t ask me WHY certain things were where they were in the kitchen. heh.
Sometimes one must tighten the belt, and make do with what one has. For example, the joining of ramen noodles and tomato sauce – spaghetto.
I have Al Sharpton on Line 2.
Also, a supportive email from Imus. I don’t get it.