Well, kids, the autopsy results are in, and here’s the final tally:
Anna Nicole:
The following drugs were found in Anna Nicole Smith’s body during the autopsy, according to the Broward County medical examiner:
Brand name (drug) indication
— Ativan (lorazepam): anti-anxiety medication
— Cipro (ciprofloxacin): antibiotic
— Klonopin (clonazepam): anti-seizure medicine also used to treat anxiety
— Methadone: strong painkiller, often used to suppress withdrawal from heroin
— Noctec (chloral hydrate): sedative and sleeping medication
— Robaxin (methocarbamol): muscle relaxant
— Soma (meprobamate): muscle relaxant
— Topamax (topiramate): anti-seizure medication also used to treat migraines
— Tylenol (acetaminophen): pain reliever
— Valium (diazepam): anti-anxiety medication, also used as a sedative and to treat seizures
She had also taken these around the time of her death, according to interviews and other evidence gathered by the medical examiner:
— Benadryl (diphenhydramine): antihistamine
— Human growth hormone: touted as a muscle-building, weight-reducing agent
— Nicorette (nicotine polacrilex): used to quit smoking
— Tamiflu (oseltamivir phosphate): anti-viral medicine
— Vitamin B12: helps formation of red blood cells
Elvis:
The Associated Press, reporting on a press conference Dr. Francisco called last Oct. 21, quoted the medical examiner as saying that four drugs were found in significant quantities in the entertainer’s bloodstream. They are Ethinamate, Methaqualone, codeine and barbiturates. The first two are sedatives; codeine is a narcotic analgesic or milder, secondary pain killer, and barbiturates are “downers” or sedatives or depressants.
Dr. Francisco was quoted as saying that four other drugs–the antihistamine chlorpheniramine, meperidine, morphine and Valium–were found in what were said to be insignificant amounts.
Meperidine and morphine are pain killers and Valium is a tranquilizer.
Presley was not taking morphine per se; the morphine was a byproduct of the codeine.
I dunno, it’s a close call. Anna Nicole weighs in with a strong effort, with Ativan, Klonopin, Methadone, chloral hydrate, two muscle relaxers, and Valium in her system. But it looks to me like Elvis retains his crown. Ethinamate, Quaaludes, codeine, six kinds of barbs (I think that’s all of them), meperidine, morphine, and Valium. The guy was making his own morphine, fer cryin’ in a bucket.
One thing I do know is that The King won the colon segment of the contest. True fact: At the time of his death, Elvis’ colon was totally impacted with a hard, chalky substance, and weighed 43 pounds. So he’s got that going for him. Which is nice.
Well, I can see why you might not have much to say about it, Craig, but . . .
Anancoledemansmmmrecownnnn….!
If all those scrips are from the same doctor, he probably oughta start looking for a good shyster.
Uh-oh. I’m in trouble, aren’t I?
“Anna Nicole demands a recount…!”
You’re out of practice, Jeff.
Life, art, or vice versa:
“Simpson! I haven’t see so many drugs since I ran a Chinese opium den! Crack, smack, uppers, downers, outers, inners, horse tranqulizers, cow paralizers, blue bombers, green goofers, yellow submarines, LDS Mach-3, and trace amounts of… dewewehhhh, human urine?”
Elvis was actually good at something.
More cowbell. I read it as she demands more cowbell.
Technically speaking the generic name for Soma is carisoprodol. Although carisoprodol is actually an inactive pro-drug that is metabolized to the pharmacologically active substance meprobamate (brand name Equanil.) But it is this active metabolite that would typically show up on a tox screen.
Human growth hormone is actually quite popular with much of the Hollywood crowd. At low doses it does have anti-aging properties.
Human Growth Hormone? Now Anna Nicole will NEVER get into Cooperstown!
I was wondering why the tox results took so long. On CSI they get done during the commercial break.
Takes a real pro to make it to the can … and stay sitting .
On CSI they don’t need a whole bank of supercomputers just to queue the print job.
HGH? How many homers that bitch hit?
Sincerely,
Barry Bonds, Mark Maguire, and Sammy Sosa
So she’s taking–and almost certainly abusing–about 10 perscription meds, but she’s also using Nicorette to quit smoking. That’s kind of sad–perhaps grasping for something she could control.
I dont think she was using it , to you know , enlarge her muscles .
At some point you have to say the death was NOT accidental, but a foregone conclusion.
Today’s helpful net-hint: Do not google “elvis colon.” Sorry, CraigC, I’ll never doubt you again.
The King , sniff , sniff ……pioneering carbon sequestration science , for the common good .
Topamax?
That’s some nasty stuff. It puts an icky taste in your mouth so everything you eat tastes like old unwashed socks.
I couldn’t get off it fast enough.
That’s a fucking scary list.
Old metal dudes may recall that Ozzy spent thirty years coked up, drunk, mostly smiling and witty, and making mostly good music, and he didn’t become a mumbling tard on an invisible unicycle until his wife got him hooked on the hard stuff, the same stuff Anna was doing.
I’ve seen it happen to friends of mine, too. Ten years shooting speedballs–no problem. Two weeks on four-syllable prescription meds–suicide or institution meat. And I’ve never seen any different. The lucky ones are rich enough to just sit around eating Hungry Man salisbury steaks and watching daytime TV for the rest of their lives. The rest are dead, in prison (some of these pills make you hurt people), or have disappeared. As in Missing Persons. Hope they’re dead, too.
Don’t do legal drugs, kids. Except whiskey. But it’s better for you when it’s older than you are.
Q: What were Elvis’ last words?
A: Corn?
In contrast. Anna Nicole’s anus was ”unremarkable.”
…and because it’s PW, here’s video of Stevie Nicks talking about klonopin!
<blockquote>
Can’t reporters get anything right? Good lord, the 1900s were the Twentieth Century. What dumbasses.
But where’s the peanut butter and bananas?
‘cuz this is way more newsworthy than any dumb Senate vote…
Cipro? Who dosed Anna against anthrax?
And if it wasn’t for the funeral and all, he’d be sitting there still. It would be the high point of the tour.
Someday you should go visit The Star Community Bar in Atlanta, GA and take a moment to kneel and pray to the throne.
They were referring to the later 1800’s, Geezer, when Chloral Hydrate was often used as a “Mickey Finn” to shanghai sailors in SF. It would put your victim out, alright, but sometimes a little too far out, if you follow me. There are safer drugs.
No wonder the bitch always sounded retarded when she spoke. I can’t even take 1 freakin zanaflex and not be knocked out for at least 2 hours with another 3 to 4 hour hangover. I applaud her for managing to stand up right let alone function. Wasn’t her son on also on a lethal diet of prescription drugs? Pathetic. And that the media considers the story to be the number 1 news worthy thing to beat into the ground is vile.
True fact: At the time of his death, Elvis’ colon was totally impacted with a hard, chalky substance, and weighed 43 pounds. So he’s got that going for him. Which is nice.
Half-true. They did find a lot of gunk, but no way it weighed 43 pounds.
arms58, but if it were anus43 I would have shat myself.
I never let the facts get in the way of a good story, my friend.
The average human being is said to contain $1.98 worth of chemicals, if dried and separated.
Anna Nicole? $344.50
Interesting ideas… I wonder how the Hollywood media would portray this?
Thanks for your article, Now there is more reason to comment than ever before! This is a great fir for our project!