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The return of RoboShep

Global warming is anthropogenic.  Period.  End of discussion.

Don’t think so?  Better read up on it, pal!  Because FOX News’ Shep Smith evidently has—and once Shep latches on to a cause, he simply cannot be stopped

Unless, of course

SHEP QUESTIONS THE TIMING!

57 Replies to “The return of RoboShep”

  1. McGehee says:

    Who wants to bet Fox News Channel sent Shep to New Orleans hoping Katrina would wash the whole place into the Gulf?

    Shep the Sub-Mariner: “Brit, two days after Katrina came ashore, the rain is still so heavy it’s almost as if I’m swimming underwater!”

  2. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Heads.  On pikes.

    YOU’D BETTER READ UP, PAL!

  3. N. O'Brain says:

    Listen. And understand. That terminator is out there. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead. It’s the….Smithinator!

  4. Mikey NTH says:

    I thought he was still doing the Lord of the Flies impression in NOLA.

    Seriously – he endorsing it is a sign of the GW theory’s imminent collapse.

  5. Dave says:

    Here’s how those offsets work:

    Everyone of you whose lifestyles contribute to the release of greenhouse gases into the air (and that is every last one of you) send me one dollar.

    I will use the accumulated money to offset all those bad emissions by pursuing a carbon neutral project, such as… ummmm, a new vacation home in Jackson Hole that uses solar panels for heating, or wind-generated electricity, or something else really cool and totally eco-friendly.

    I will use the remaining funds to rid the world of those nasty, methane-emitting cattle, one steak at a time.

  6. happyfeet says:

    cherry blossoms of doom

  7. Jim in KC says:

    Shep’s not even the freakin’ weatherman, for crying out loud.  What does Doocy say?

  8. Dave says:

    Shep’s not even the freakin’ weatherman, for crying out loud.  What does Doocy say?

    Doocy is pimping his book about marital bliss. What next, Greta doing a fashion segment? Geraldo with a one-hour special about his colonoscopy?

    Has the world has gone mad?!?!

  9. Ric Locke says:

    Dave, at what point did anyone intimate to you that the world was not mad? Because you need to clearly identify it, so that you can identify the perpetrator and visit doom upon him (or her).

    But Mikey has the right of it. This is a near-certain sign that Global Warming has jumped the shark. It may in fact be the shark-jumping moment.

    Regards,

    Ric

  10. N. O'Brain says:

    Geraldo with a one-hour special about his colonoscopy?

    Posted by Dave | permalink

    on 03/13 at 01:59 PM

    Geraldo had a c-scope?

    Did they find anything?

  11. RC says:

    What a straight line.  I’m probably too late but:

    What else would they find at his c-scopy, N.O., His head, of course.

  12. JohnAnnArbor says:

    Wait ‘til Geraldo decides to do a global warming special.

  13. Bill D. Cat says:

    Wait ‘til Geraldo decides to do a global warming special

    …but he won’t find any Global Warming …..he never finds anything …..oh … yeah … never mind .

  14. friend says:

    Somebody better check into Sheps stock position on Algores offset company.

  15. Mikey NTH says:

    Has the world has gone mad?!?!

    It’s buried under a giant W.

  16. Mikey NTH says:

    But Mikey has the right of it. This is a near-certain sign that Global Warming has jumped the shark. It may in fact be the shark-jumping moment.

    Regards,

    Ric

    Posted by Ric Locke | permalink

    on 03/13 at 02:18 PM

    Ric, John Kerry is launching a global warming book tour.  Not only that this is Al Gore’s theater of operations (There is no Gaia but Gaia, and Al Gore is her prophet), but Kerry jumping in is sure sign of the theory’s doom.

  17. Bill D. Cat says:

    Ric, John Kerry is launching a global warming book tour

    This is where I get confused …..isn’t Kerry recycling ?

  18. SteveG says:

    Here’s some fun: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070312/ap_on_sc/polar_trek_1

    They blame the cold… in the Arctic…. in the winter…. on global warming.

    Some nonsense about weather extremes…. that makes Nostradamus true believers look sane.

  19. happyfeet says:

    Thing is, the idea of “climate change skeptics” is absolutely indispensable to the political momentum of global warming, so while sheep herder smith can declare the debate is over, his reports will be declaring that “the tide is starting to turn” for at least the next decade or so.

  20. Bill D. Cat says:

    This Moment On Earth : Today’s New Environmentalists And Their Vision For The Future , by Kerry , and his wife Teresa Heinz Kerry …… someone get Jeff some more red pills and a copy of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes , stat !

  21. cranky-d says:

    I don’t think anyone who can think is skeptical about climate change.  I changes all the freaking time.

    However, whenever it’s mentioned, the assumption is that it’s our fault, when I think that Mr. Sun has a whole lot more to do with it.  Any other provable causes, like volcanic eruptions or massive meteor collisions, are things we can do nothing about.  Carbon dioxide emissions are a red-herring; our endeavors emmit so little as a fraction of the total carbon dioxide in the atmosphere as to be laughable.

    So maybe the real cause of the hand-wringing and general childish behavior is the feeling of helplessness that follows when you understand the facts.  If there is any massive climate change coming, there is absolutely nothing we can do about it, except to figure out ways to adapt.

  22. SteveG says:

    In the article I linked the temperatures are said to have fallen below -100F

    Which is fun… according to this article that would be a record low.

    http://www.timeforkids.com/TFK/class/pdfs/2007S/070309_wr_all.pdf

  23. Mikey NTH says:

    cranky-d, where I am commenting from a mile-thick glacier was here about 12,000 years ago.  Why did it leave? That is my question to man-made global warming.  Nature has experienced this before, my blame humans who are a very recent addition to nature?

    Bill:

    isn’t Kerry recycling ?

    I’m sure those books will be recycled, after Border’s tosses them from the remainders bin and the covers are removed.

  24. Bill D. Cat says:

    Mikey ,

    But what of the credits man ?

  25. What else would they find at his c-scopy, N.O., His head, of course.

    I would have thought the first good blast from the GoLytely would have cleared out the…

    Errr…ummm…

    nevermind.

  26. Dave says:

    I don’t think anyone who can think is skeptical about climate change.  It changes all the freaking time.

    It seems to happen around here in quite noticeable 12-month cycles.

  27. Mikey NTH says:

    Bill, I’m sure Al will sell the proper amount to Sen. Kerry.  After sufficient penance, of course.  The Church Established shall not be mocked in this fashion.

  28. Bill D. Cat says:

    Mikey ,

    After all the hype , I wanna see Al suck on a CO2 bong , and inhale ‘till he looks like an oompa-freakin’-loompa , and floats away like the bag of gas he is ….

  29. His Frogness says:

    Just in case some of you have never read Michael Crichton’s infamous speech about environmentalism:

    http://www.michaelcrichton.net/speeches/speeches_quote05.html

  30. Mikey NTH says:

    …and floats away like the bag of gas he is ….

    Too much Al for that, Bill.  I must say that his footprint on Mother Gaia must be nearly all she can bear.  He must do some incredible penance for that transgression.

  31. B Moe says:

    For his part, Gore praised the Massachusetts senator’s book.

    “John Kerry and Teresa Heinz have written a book that is a profound challenge to all of us…

    Must not have any pictures in it.

  32. Bill D. Cat says:

    He must do some incredible penance for that transgression.

    Can I pick ?

  33. Mikey NTH says:

    Must not have any pictures in it.

    And words of more than one syllable too.  Wait – *snicker*:

    “But I don’t know how to say ‘Sylvester’ George.”

    Sorry, but I started channleing my inner Blackadder – or Bugs Bunny – again.

  34. wishbone says:

    A.  If the teleprompter displayed the following: “Giant macaroni-shaped kitties invaded the Kamchatka Peninsula today riding clones of Telly Savalas and Cardinal Richlieau,” our man Shep would read it, complete with stern countenance and a graphic of Kamchatka over his left shoulder.  Please keep that in mind if you think he is capable of independent thought.

    B.

    John Kerry and Teresa Heinz have written a book that is a profound challenge to all of us…

    This is the single, most unintentionally funny thing I have ever read.

  35. mishu says:

    How much did John and Therezzza pay the ghost writer to slap together some articles from eco-moonbat websites?

  36. Mark says:

    I’m sure those books will be recycled…

    Pop-up books are recyclable?

  37. clarice says:

    It’s one of those days isn’t it? Shep is dumb as a post, and the notion of John and Teresa flitting on their private plane to their five mansions and oodles of SUV’s offering advice on conservation and global warming to the plebes makes me wonder why I don’t just kidnap Jeff and make him write a screenplay with me.

  38. Mikey NTH says:

    Mark – as insulation.

    Clarice – A capital idea!  Bully!  Not the kidnapping, and the hurting, and the crying, and the biting…

    But a screenplay mocking the prophets of doom…

    Probably too outre for Hollywood or its Bush Leagues (Sundance or Cannes), but still it would be the right approach.  Sort of Team America meets Captain Planet.

  39. Ric Locke says:

    John Kerry is launching a global warming book tour.

    Oh.

    My.

    God.

    I have screwed up, big time. ‘Swhat I get for being away from the intratubes for a while.

    I had a big pile of slash out back, left over from clearing—three or four tons of mesquite and hackberry, with a little blackjack oak and a lot of briers mixed in. Today we had a thunderstorm—not much, a couple inches of rain over as many hours—which dampened things enough to eliminate danger from flying sparks, so I went back there with a half-gallon of Diesel fuel and BURNED IT, returning all that lovely carbon to the bosom of Gaia.

    I see I should have husbanded it carefully instead. If John and Therrayza have jumped on the bandwagon I expect the glaciers to reach Oklahoma City by August, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to pay TXU to keep warm. I’m gonna need that wood.

    Regards,

    Ric

  40. B Moe says:

    If John and Therrayza have jumped on the bandwagon I expect the glaciers to reach Oklahoma City by August, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to pay TXU to keep warm. I’m gonna need that wood.

    Put an ice rink back there, those make good money I hear.

  41. clarice says:

    Mikey, I’m game. Twist Jeff’s arms.(I rather thing kidnapping him would end up like the Tansom of Red Chief anyway.)

  42. clarice says:

    ahem-

    Mikey, I’m game. Twist Jeff’s arms.(I rather think kidnapping him would end up like the Ransom of Red Chief anyway.)

  43. It’s the sun, baby, that big ol’ hate-filled yeller thing in the sky that hates us.

    It’s The Global Warming Swindle. Watch it.

    I mean: scientists debunk the entire Global Warming Religion.

  44. Mikey NTH says:

    Jeff:

    You heard Clarice.  Now’s your chance to really make that crazy blog-money!

    Little Satch is counting on you!  So is Dr. Hunter S. Armadillo!

  45. clarice says:

    Mikey–work on it and there’s a role for you in it. You can head the carbon dioxide offset scheme. I see it as a cameo role, but an unforgettable role it is.

    (Warch Ron Popeil ads for a while to get the general hang of it.)

  46. Mikey NTH says:

    Do the carbon off-set schemes include bamboo steamers?  I won’t work without bamboo steamers.

    “But wait – there’s more!  Your vinyl cartop will look like new!”

    Ahh, UHF television…

  47. Mark says:

    (Warch Ron Popeil ads for a while to get the general hang of it.)

    I get your inflection as to the methods Clarice, but it’s hardly fair treatment of Ron Popeil, grouping him in with the “carbon offsetters,” as he actually did (and still does I think) send a product in exchange for your money.

    Disclaimer: I’ve never actually purchased a “Ronco” product from Latenite-800-TV, but have bought some of his “as seen on TV” stuff locally at “Cost Cutters.” And it was indeed real stuff that you could hold grin

  48. His Frogness says:

    And the BEST part about it is that it’s not a multi-level marketing scheme.

  49. clarice says:

    Ron Popeil has made a fortune. He’s a retailing genius. Study him Mikey. I think your ability to apply those techniques to carbon offsets is our only chance at getting financing for this flick.

  50. SteveG says:

    I’m embarrassed. timblair.net had the story I linked over and done by the time I’d gotten up this morning… and I was up before dawn… next time I’ll check..

  51. Phil Smith says:

    3 or 4 tons of mesquite and you just burned it?!?!?  Brisket smokers throughout the Fair Republic weep this night.

  52. Ric Locke says:

    Phil,

    I wondered if anybody would mention that.

    There’s plenty more where that came from. I’ve got the chain saw if you’ve got the time.

    Regards,

    Ric

  53. Phil Smith says:

    You live up around Dallas, correct?  I’ve made road trips for worse reasons.

  54. wishbone says:

    I’ve made road trips for worse reasons.

    #340:  She lived in Maine and I was in friggin’ Florida.

    I-95 is LLLLOOOOOONNNGGGGG.

  55. Ric Locke says:

    Phil: West of Fort Worth. Coming from North and East, I44 will get you close. Let me know; my email works.

    She lived in Oxnard, and I wasn’t far from Plains. I10/20/40, leave Friday, arrive Monday morning, with a doped-up tomcat lying where he could breathe the air coming in the defective seal at the bottom of the driver’s door. Good times, good times.

    Regards,

    Ric

    tw: party78. Except subtract, like, five years.

  56. Swen Swenson says:

    NYTimesSome backers concede minor inaccuracies but see them as reasonable for a politician. James E. Hansen, an environmental scientist, director of NASA’s Goddard Institute for Space Studies and a top adviser to Mr. Gore, said, “Al does an exceptionally good job of seeing the forest for the trees,” adding that Mr. Gore often did so “better than scientists.”

    So.. On one hand, in the last 15,000 years we’ve seen climatic variation that included an ice age and a millenium-long drought, with no reason to believe that we won’t see similar climate extremes in the next 15,000 years. On the other hand we have a barely discernable 30-year trend of warming that might be anthropogenic and that, extrapolated out a few hundred years, threatens to have New Yorkers wading around in water up to their ankles. This is perceived as dire.

    I’ll submit that the global warmers not only don’t see the forest for the trees, they’ve picked one particular tree in the forest and they’re dry-humping it for all it’s worth.

  57. McGehee says:

    I’ll submit that the global warmers not only don’t see the forest for the trees, they’ve picked one particular tree in the forest and they’re dry-humping it for all it’s worth.

    Tree: “You know, right about now a chain saw would be such a relief.”

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