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Humor for Geeks

Personally, I don’t get it. Or maybe I do, but my hypermasculine blog persona won’t allow me to admit that I do.

There’s really just no telling with me.  Because I’m complex, like an aged Port; I am layered like an onion.

WHO DARES ATTEMPT TO PIGEONHOLE ME AS JUST A GLORIFIED CONDIMENT?

(h/t Dario)

34 Replies to “Humor for Geeks”

  1. ken says:

    Actually “smelly like an aged epoisse” came to mind first. But I guess that doesn’t fit with the whole overcompensating thing, does it? Except in an aggressive locker-room smell sort of way…

  2. alphie says:

    At the tender age of three

    I was hooked to a machine

    Just to keep my mouth from spouting junk.

    Ha! Must have took me for a fool

    When they chucked me out of school

    ‘Cause the teacher knew I had the funk.

    But tonight I’m on the edge –

    Fellas, shut me in the fridge

    ‘Cause I’m burning up! (I’m burning up.)

    With the vision in my brain

    And the music in my veins

    And the dirty rhythm in my blood!

    Oh, hypermasculine

    Nevermind.

  3. dicentra says:

    I think that was alphie’s attempt at humor.

    Everyone, humor him, wontcha?

  4. Alphie Dice Clay says:

    Hickory Dickory Cluck

    Bush sucks.

  5. Bill D. Cat says:

    I am layered like an onion

    Shrek is pretty cool . Is port a condiment ?

  6. Joe says:

    GLORIFIED CONDIMENT: Did you really just call yourself an old, winey onion?

  7. Alphie’s a Thomas Dolby fan!

    Can’t be all bad.

  8. Joe says:

    Onion: You’re nothing like me, Goldstein. You don’t know my life, my pain. How dare you steal my pain just to fit it into your little narrative, man. How dare you.

  9. wishbone says:

    Where can I get me one of them Hypermasculine Blog Personas?

    Or should I just save the $89.95 and settle for the Ronco Supermasculine Blog Persona?

  10. Cythen says:

    You’ll always be our packet of fancy ketchup, Jeff.

    Just not Heinz.

  11. Great Mencken's Ghost! says:

    Alphie’s a Thomas Dolby fan!

    Can’t be all bad.

    Did you ever see “Rockula?”

    Yes, it can.

  12. Dave H says:

    I dunno Jeff, I try to stick with smartassary, or dumbassery, depending upon the recievers point of view, but from my view point I’m thinking you might want to contact Mike Rowe at “Dirty Jobs”. Seems like there’s plenty of work here for him, considering how many hard left “newbies” show up offering plenty of oral diarrhoea backed up by cranial constipation. I’ve watched Mikes show, he seems to be used to dealing with shit of all kinds.

  13. Michael_The_Rock says:

    Anybody remember Hunt’s Barbeque-flavored Catsup? Talk about your glorified condiments…

    (If you quote me, remember the ellipsis, dammit!)

  14. Dave H says:

    I don’t rmember Anybody remember Hunt’s Barbeque-flavored Catsup? But it seems to me that last summer Heinz ketchup had quirky labels “i’m better on top” or “Tereasa is a Bolshevik”, “we’re not affiliated in any way with the winter soldiers presidential campaign”

  15. CraigC says:

    Hey, dude, the hypermasculine blog persona is my schtick. Lay off, or I’ll have ta mess ya up.

  16. Michael_The_Rock says:

    Hunt’s BBQ catsup is from the 60’s (or was it the 70’s?) That was before the fascist vast “ketchup”-wing conspirator goons beat the sniveling “catsup” marketers to a viscous red paste smelling slightly of vinegar and tom-ah-to.

  17. Karl says:

    The linked piece—had it been done by someone on the left—would clearly have left to pro-flat tax position to Greedo.  Wiser folks know Greedo better.  That’s why Han shot first, no matter how hard Commissar Lucas tries to airbrush history in a galaxy far, far away.  That’s pre-emption.

  18. His Frogness says:

    Star Wars is for fags.

  19. Scott Crawford says:

    WHO DARES ATTEMPT TO PIGEONHOLE ME AS JUST A GLORIFIED CONDIMENT?

    Well, just asking, would you prefer to be pigeonholed as a perfectly ordinary condiment?

    (FTR, I’ve never liked wearing condiments.)

  20. Speaking of Star Wars, is hypermasculinity anything like hyperdrive?  Can you make the Ketchup Run in less that twelve nanosecs?

  21. McGehee says:

    Hypermasculinity? Pshaw, I say.

    You need Ultramasculinity®—guaranteed to out-testosterone anyone silly enough to use one of those lesser personal hygiene products.

    Ultramasculinity®—by Mennen.

  22. Karl says:

    Star Wars is for fags.

    COULTERIST!!!

    TOLKIEN COULTERIST!!!

  23. alphie says:

    Isn’t the battle between Star Wars and Star Trek?

    Klingo-Coulterist?

  24. I thought that the title was “Humor for Greeks” so I was looking for a big, ripped-abs, Spartans at Thermopylae type finale on the joke.

    But it wasn’t there.

  25. wishbone says:

    I thought that the title was “Humor for Greeks” so I was looking for a big, ripped-abs, Spartans at Thermopylae type finale on the joke.

    But it wasn’t there.

    Robin–a more apt metaphor for John Kerry’s 2004 presidential campaign cannot be found.

  26. CraigC says:

    ….and if you’ve ever been pigeonholed, you know just how painful that can be…..

  27. I’m thinking you might want to contact Mike Rowe at “Dirty Jobs”. Seems like there’s plenty of work here for him, considering how many hard left “newbies” show up offering plenty of oral diarrhoea backed up by cranial constipation.

    Naw. At work we thought about submitting our jobs, but realized Rowe’s interested jobs that are physically dirty. Just dirtying your soul or wallowing in metaphorical filth won’t make the cut.

  28. N. O'Brain says:

    I thought that the title was “Humor for Greeks” so I was looking for a big, ripped-abs, Spartans at Thermopylae type finale on the joke.

    But it wasn’t there.

    Posted by Robin Roberts | permalink

    on 03/14 at 12:58 AM

    [Oooo, a perfect excuse to recycle my joke]

    Jeff,

    Do you have have any Hollywood connections?

    I just had an idea, and I want to see if I can flog my idea for a kinder, gentler, more politically correct “300”.

    My working title is “Brokeback Mount Olympus”.

  29. slackjawedyokel says:

    I just had an idea, and I want to see if I can flog my idea for a kinder, gentler, more politically correct “300”.

    My working title is “Brokeback Mount Olympus”.

    Too bad Peter Graves is too old.

    Do you like gladiator movies, Bobby?”

    TW: It’s been years17 since I saw “Airplane”, but I still laugh my ass off remembering it.

  30. Matt, Esq. says:

    The memme’s already being circulated (apparently due to the success of the unapologetic unPC 300) that all the 300 were gay, their wives were just cover and thats what we should expect from closeted self hating oiled up warmongers.

  31. Squid says:

    Thanks for installing that patch, guys.  The AI seems much improved in this thread.

  32. mojo says:

    hypermasculine blog persona

    Oh, pu-LEEEse…

    And take those socks outta your pants, huh? It’s just embarrassing…

  33. ….and if you’ve ever been pigeonholed, you know just how painful that can be…..

    Might be hypermasculine to admit this, but I paid good money to get pigeonholed at a software convention in of all places Utah .  I know I was in bad shape when I called my wife from the in-room phone ($345! Who knew), told her I was quitting my job and that my name was now “witchypoo”.  I eventually got over it, though I still have a slight obsession with burlap and mirrors, but man, one of the Japanese guys I was with got some of the Rino-Lining on his crank and I heard he’s been a changed man ever since.

    Good times…

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