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Scottish Sympathy [Dan Collins]

is a bit like iodine.  My friend Frank Pulley sends this joke:

Bono, the lead singer of the band U2 is famous throughout the

entertainment industry for being more than just a little self-righteous.

He was playing a U2 concert in Glasgow, Scotland when he asked the

audience for total quiet.

Then in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands … once every

few seconds.

Holding the audience in total silence, he says into the microphone,

“Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies.”

A voice with a broad Scottish accent, from near the front of the crowd,

pierces the silence …

>

> … … … … … … “Well, fukin’ stop doin’ it then!”

12 Replies to “Scottish Sympathy [Dan Collins]”

  1. McGehee says:

    Har!

    I forget who it was, but some TV comedian (for some reason I’m thinking Letterman) once noted that every 25 seconds a woman gives birth.

    “We need to find this woman, and stop her!”

  2. bolivar says:

    Is that fuker giving the audience the bird?  Well the same back you two-faced asshole.

  3. Theresa, MSgt (ret), USAF says:

    I love the Scots sense of humor.

  4. Lost Dog says:

    I hope with all my heart that is a true story.

    I’ve also heard that Bono travels with a full complement of C-clamps so that he can get his head to fit through any door.

  5. McGehee says:

    I’ve also heard that Bono travels with a full complement of C-clamps so that he can get his head to fit through any door.

    Can’t be true. It couldn’t be done without demolition equipment to resize the doorway.

    Or, dimensional discontinuity technology.

  6. CraigC says:

    True story: When I worked at Channel 9 in D.C., we did “Redskins Sidelines,” and “The Joe Gibbs Show.” One day we had Joe Jacoby as a guest on “Sidelines,” and he couldn’t just walk through the door from the hall into the studio.  He had to duck and turn sideways.

  7. BJTexs says:

    C Clamps and dimensional discontinuity technology!

    Thanks guys! Now I must wipe up the spewed beverage.

  8. tanstaafl says:

    The whole superstar holier-than-thou Africa/AIDS phenomenon is enough to gag a maggot.

    So thanks for the uplift with this little story.

  9. Sticky B says:

    I think in the original translation it was:“Well, fookin’ stop doin’ it then!”

  10. Great mencken's Ghost! says:

    Hey, Bono, wanna help the starving?  Pay some fookin’ taxes.

  11. Frank P says:

    Nah, that would have been in Manchester, and they have no sense of humour whatsover. Anyway it was a Scottish professor who now lives in Canada that sent me the joke and he’s good on Scottish dialect.

Comments are closed.