Well. I spent most of the morning at Urgent Care, and found out I was having an attack of diverticuliiiiiiiiitissss. So, doctor’s orders, I can only ingest liquids for at least the next couple of days, and I can’t go back to work until Monday. Which means that I’m gonna lose a shitload of commission from today and Black Friday, and I won’t be able to eat turkey, mashed potatos, and stuffing, which is my favorite holiday meal except for maybe roast beef and Yorkshire pudding.
HAPPY FUCKING THANKSGIVING, EVERYBODY!!
What’s diverticulitis, Craig? Oh, and happy fucking Thanksgiving, man.
Too bad, with all the nuts on the left you won’t be able to eat them if you kill them. Just eat a few peanuts after you think you’re better and hang on. It’s irritated again, back to urgent care.
Sorry old man…Some times life is a pain.
My sympathies: a co-worker has the same complaint, and has to stay in the immediate vicinity of the bathroom pretty much all day long.
You could Google it Dan, but trust me, you don’t want to.
Here’s to a better Christmas holiday for you Craig
No solids eh? Hydraulic dinner! I suggest Talisker or Oban.
Get well soon.
Ohhhhhh dear, but have you seen my GOOOOOIIIIIIITER?
That well and truly sucks. i hope that you feel better.
OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH…
Thanks for the idea, MJ, but I don’t drink anymore. So I can’t even do that. That’s ok, though. I won’t let it bring me down. It’s only castles burning.
Any landing you walk away from is a good one, yannow?
Sorry to hear that; best wishes and get better soon.
This is a job for Colonblow!
Poor Craig… maybe you and D can do Thanksgiving next week?
Did you know that Elvis’ colon weighed 43 lbs. at the time of his death? True story. It was so impacted that it was filled with a solid, chalky substance.
Wet Darvocet, probably.
Cashews, Craig. Lots and lots of nuts. Be brave, Buddy! When you’re full of it, you have to expound.
Just sayin’ …
Dude,
The antibiotics! Don’t forget the antibiotics!
Liquid diet…can you have soft drinks?
Sorry to hear about your diverticulitis. Lousy timing. It seems like Thanksgiving is just poorly timed this year – I usually cook up a big mess of food, but we’re in the middle of a huge project that one of our business partners bailed on at the last minute (jerk said he was going to do a bunch of work, then he was only going to be able to get part of it done, then he emailed what little he had supposedly done to us along with his resignation letter but deleted the files off his computer before he confirmed that we got the email that we never received – thank WhateverDeity that he’s out the door, even if the timing sucks), and the do-or-die date on it is Tuesday, so we’re just ordering the box turkey dinner from Mimi’s Cafe, and hopefully in a couple of weekends I’ll actually have time to cook. Anyone else up for officially moving Thanksgiving to early December?
Bummer.
If this has to do with your butt, I am sorry.
Even if it doesn’t, I am still sorry for you.
I have to say, though, that it is not quite as bad as an ex-wife swinging a seven year old child around her head, hoping to clip my skull with him.
Always look at the plate that the muffin is offered on before you bring out the butter.
Sorry, it’s just one of those Earthbound days.
I promise I will try to be amusing tomorrow.
Sometimes life sucks, and then you don’t die.
Tomorrow(?) – see you then.
(And I’m sure I will be apologizing for this in the morning – but it is either this or prosecutable mayhem). Thanks for your indulgence – I think.
Whew! I am actually posting this? I must be lower than Monkyboy!!!
TW: youre93 – Close, but not really, even though I often feel like that…
oh… well, if we’re havin’ a pity party. I’ll be spending Thanksgiving with the in-laws. don’t get me wrong they’re nice people, I’d just rather have my husband. Anyone wanna come put christmas lights on my house? I have beer.
The bright side is, if you are fat now, you won’t be next week! My father got that and lost 45 lbs in 2 weeks.
So true. Diverticulitis played a role in my mother’s death. So there are worse things than missing a Thanksgiving. But I sympathize, as it was apparent how unpleasant it can be.
Did I mention that I’m in severe pain, and all he gave me was Darvocet?
With all pain meds, you have to double up on the first dose. Or, since you’re already taking it, double up on the next dose to get that buzz going.
Believe me, Darvocet will work if you do that.
Yes, but in the long-term you don’t want to overdo the painkillers. My Mom had heavy-duty painkillers for a broken back. They worked so well that she didn’t feel the diverticulitis until her intestine ruptured. And then she was in very big trouble.
You guys are making me feel so much better. Cranky, of course I’m doubling up on the dosage. Problem is, they won’t last long enough at this rate. And to make matters worse, when he told me he was giving me Darvocet, I started (half)kidding around about getting Percodan or Demerol. I have a feeling I’m screwed if I ask for something stronger, or even just more Darvocet.
At least I didn’t mention Dilaudid.
I hope your diverticules feel better soon.
Tell him to give you morphine or you’ll strangle him where he stands. Most doctors are pussies when it comes to prescribing decent pain killers. They think everyone will become addicted.
After being released after major abdominal surgery, the doctor told me to take ibuprofen. The jackass.
Cranky-d,
Blame the DEA. Doctors are afraid to lose their license to prescribe narcotics because the DEA closely monitors the rate of prescription by doctor and will pull their license at the first tiny sign they “excessively” prescribe narcotics. Gotta love that war on drugs.