From furriskey at Bloody Scott comes this advert & public service announcement, presented by Jocelyn Elders:

ADVERTISEMENT FEATURE:

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

Do you suffer from shyness?

Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

Does speaking in public cause you to panic?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about White Wine.

White Wine is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. White Wine can help ease you out of your

shyness and let you tell the world that you’re ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of White Wine almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you

from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you

had. Stop hiding and start living, with White Wine.

White Wine may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use White Wine. However, women who wouldn’t mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include:  dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of

money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night

rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

WARNING:

The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

Your father was a magnum of Friexenet, son.