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Pamela Hates Halloween [Dan Collins]

At the Backache, Pamela sets out her reasons for despising Halloween:

What I didn’t know was the history of Halloween. It has deplorable, ugly elements. I would deck the house full out in Halloween decoration—but it was my kids who came home years ago and said. “hey ma, they use to kill Jews on Halloween. It’s a pagan holiday.” Apparently Halloween was a night when many pogroms would occur against Jews.

Now, one might say—lighten up woman.  This is the here, this is the now.  Halloween is for kids! It’s great! Bullshit. You can not, must not divorce history from reality, from today. Bad message. Especially for children. It renders history irrelevant – even at this level, particularly at this level.

So no happy halloween from me guys. No sir. But I dig Thanksgiving and I do love pumpkins.

Heh.  Pumpkins.

Now, for the sake of argument, I’ll present a portion of Mitchel Cohen’s idiot piece on why he hates Thanksgiving, over at the idiot box known as Counterpunch:

These are the Puritans that the Indians “saved”, and whom we celebrate in the holiday, Thanksgiving. Tisquantum, also known as Squanto, a member of the Patuxet Indian nation. Samoset, of the Wabonake Indian nation, which lived in Maine. They went to Puritan villages and, having learned to speak English, brought deer meat and beaver skins for the hungry, cold Pilgrims. Tisquantum stayed with them and helped them survive their first years in their New World. He taught them how to navigate the waters, fish and cultivate corn and other vegetables. He pointed out poisonous plants and showed how other plants could be used as medicines. He also negotiated a peace treaty between the Pilgrims and Massasoit, head chief of the Wampanoags, a treaty that gave the Pilgrims everything and the Indians nothing. And even that treaty was soon broken. All this is celebrated as the First Thanksgiving.

My own feeling? The Indians should have let the Pilgrims die. But they couldn’t do that. Their humanity made them assist other human beings in need. And for that beautiful, human, loving connection they—and those of us who are not Indian as well—paid a terrible price: The genocide of the original inhabitants of Turtle Island, what is now America.

Dean Esmay has the antidote.

Now, I can understand how any holiday that sometime served as an excuse or trigger for pogroms might rankle Pamela.  But those episodes have little to do with the origins of the holiday.  It is true that the Druids also engaged in human sacrifice, and perhaps for that reason it’s good that they were extirpated, though they were rather colorful and interesting characters in other respects.  Mistletoe, holly, Christmas trees, wishing wells, we get these things from them, too.  But I can’t imagine how it was that pagans meant to inspire pogroms.  I am certain that there will have been instances of pogroms occurring at Lent, as well, but as cognizant as I am of these despicable episodes in the history of my religion, I am not going to turn these celebrations into an occasion devoted to the contemplation of those injuries.

Lighten up, Pamela.

35 Replies to “Pamela Hates Halloween [Dan Collins]”

  1. actus says:

    Thanksgiving is problematic for the OTHER tribe peoples. So its ok.

  2. Dan Collins says:

    Why are you here, actus?  What have you got to be thankful for?

  3. phin says:

    Can we change her name from Pamela to Jane?

    Saying: Pamela you ignorant slut just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

  4. Dan Collins says:

    phin–

    I don’t regard her as an ignorant slut.  I just think she’s worked herself into a snit over this.  I don’t know where she finds the energy.  She does a good job of expressing outrage over things that deserve it, but I don’t believe this is one of them.

  5. actus says:

    What have you got to be thankful for?

    Puritan Hotties gone Native.

  6. Dan Collins says:

    I mean, if you were forced to don the burqa, it would be Halloween every day.  Only without the variety.  And the candy.  And the fun.

  7. actus says:

    I’m over the ’everyday is halloween‘ part of growing up. It was fun. It was youth. It is over.

  8. phin says:

    Sorry for the harsh language Dan. I’ve got the coffee IV hooked up so I’m better now.

    It just hit me wrong that she’s attempting to change the cultural significance of Halloween (and has for her kids) over events that happened year round between 1880 and 1914.

    Some of the pogroms kicked off on October 31st, but some also kicked off on July 4th, December 25th, etc. and she isn’t boycotting those holidays, yet.

  9. actus says:

    It just hit me wrong that she’s attempting to change the cultural significance of Halloween (and has for her kids)

    Have you seen the videos that the kids are in too? it looks like they don’t really take mom very seriously. They’ll be fine.

  10. Dan Collins says:

    It was fun. It was youth. It is over.

    For you.

  11. BJTexs says:

    Dean Ismay’s piece is interesting and brings a certain balance to the whole genocide argument. There were heinous acts committed on both sides of the inevitable conflict. Too often “scholars” like the sainted, not-native-american Ward Churchill would rather paint the Indians as ongoing, endless victims of the white man’s greed and corruption. The truth, as it often does, lies somewhere in between.

    Evan Connell’s excellent Custer biography “Son of the Morning Star” has a section on the plains indian tribes detailing several instances of less than environmentally sound practices, including plains fires and cutting down fruit and nut trees as they roamed rather than bothering to pick the produce. These ethnically cleaned tales forget that there were literally hundreds of tribes and, as was reflected in the rest of the world, some were nice and some were not. Too much of the history of settlers vs natives is shrouded in politically correct terminology. Much of it ties to the victimization mentality that brushes off native atrocities as “defending the homeland” (echos of insurgents in Iraq?)

    As for Halloween, Pamela needs to lighten up. We should probably ban Easter because of the abuse of Jews in Europe that occured around Passion Plays and/or Easter services. Radicals and idiots will always have the opportunity to disfigure occasions sacred or not. As a Christian, I taught my children that Halloween was a dress up party designed strictly for fun. I didn’t notice anybody in my neighborhoods burning synagogues or attempting to raise the dead spirits.

    One is tempted to say, “Look what the radicals have done to Islam…” Yea, let’s ban Ramadan!

  12. mgroves says:

    In the words of Phil Ken Sebben:

    Ha ha!  Pumpkins!

  13. Big Bang hunter says:

    “One is tempted to say, “Look what the radicals have done to Islam…” Yea, let’s ban Ramadan!”

    “…[almost} without fail, on every Muslim holiday, as the faithful make their long hard pilgrimage to Mecca, various sects take the opportunity to shower gifts of roadside bombs, hand held rockets, and ambush murders of large groups of the innocents, in honor of Allah…”

    Sounds like the Muslim equivalent of bobbing for apples. You wouldn’t want to take all the fun out of it for them now would you BJ. Wheres your holiday spirit?

    Ummmmm…. pumpkins……

  14. BJTexs says:

    Geez, what was I thinking, BBh? Because, you know, nothing quite reflects the holiday spirit like an IED filled with ball bearings.

    IT’S FOR THE CHILDREN!!!!!

  15. BoZ says:

    I refuse to celebrate Monkey Tuesday.

    During WWII alone, eight hundred thousand Jews were killed on Tuesdays.

    Gilbert Gottfried’s agreeing to guest host today’s Penn Jillette show—92.3 FM @ 2pm in NY—casts shame upon us all.

    But I still love masturbating in trees.

  16. BJTexs says:

    I refuse to celebrate Monkey Tuesday.

    And……..and……and……and……

    What about Syllabus Thursday when Phd candidates used the opportunity to run roughshod over non-college educated citizens, throwing them down and forcing them to read their requirements for their doctoral theses.

    That’s it, I’m staying in bed on Thursdays…

  17. My parents’ anniversary and my father’s birthday just coincidentally happen to be on 9/11.  Shall I stop celebrating those, because of something else that happened on the same date one year?  No!  The hell with the joykillers!  Now gimme that bag of chocolates; I’m an absolute fiend for the Krackels.

  18. Jim in KC says:

    I don’t like Halloween very much anymore, either, but that’s because it’s a pain in the ass.  I’m glad my parents weren’t that uptight when I was a kid, though, back when it was fun.

  19. Big Bang hunter says:

    ”….By the hand-held rockets red glare, The IED bombs bursting in the market-fair….”

    – Is there anything the Islamists don’t hijack? Next thing you know, they’ll have a cartoon of al Mohammud peanut-siek, waiting for the great Pumpkin Profit to rise up out of the goat dung patch….

  20. ahem says:

    I don’t know Pamela, but it pays to remember that observant and conservative Jews take religion and religiously-based holidays very seriously. They’re purists, capable of handing down traditions intact to their children for centuries.

    actus: You’re ‘way too young to grow up.

    Dan: Counterpunch? You masochist. I’ll bet you even read Zmag.

  21. Pablo says:

    Free candy and pumpkin pie? Shaddap and bring me both, bitches.

    And would somebody disconnect that infernal doorbell?

  22. Dan Collins says:

    ahem–

    I don’t read them.  I just know where to go when I need an example of egregious stupidity.

  23. ed says:

    Hmmm.

    Michael Cohen’s piece is proof positive that you shouldn’t allow illegal aliens to set foot on American soil!

    Kinda odd, but definitely true.

  24. Pamela says:

    Oh lighten the fuck up

  25. Dan Collins says:

    I’m already up the fuck lightened.  If I were more up the fuck lightened my levity would be such that I’d float the fuck away.

  26. ahem says:

    I used to read them, god help me. Took me years to recover.

  27. Ardsgaine says:

    Did you guys follow the link she supplied under pumpkins?

    Just wondering.

  28. Dan Collins says:

    What a rip off!  I went to that site for the free Margot, and there was nothing there!  Some Trick-or-Treat!

  29. Chairman Me says:

    It’s really a shame that Pam doesn’t like Halloween. She could do a spot on Fran Drescher.

  30. Harry Bergeron says:

    But what about garden gnomes, Pamela ???

    Do you know the real history of garden gnomes ???

  31. Chairman Me says:

    I’m already up the fuck lightened.  If I were more up the fuck lightened my levity would be such that I’d float the fuck away.

    No, man, I think she’s saying she wants to be lightly fucked.

  32. lee says:

    Can we change her name from Pamela to Jane?

    Saying: Pamela you ignorant slut just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

    I was going to say something along the lines of not liking halloween either, cuz of the basic theme, encouraging extortion, like that…

    but now I’m ascared to..

    I wouldn’t be able to stand the abuse.

    so…

    HALLOWEEN IS SACRED!

    MAY IT LIVE ON FOREVER!

    Amen.

  33. SondraK says:

    Oh lighten the fuck up

    Posted by Pamela

    Huh?

    Oh. It was like that Kerry joke…we’re just too stoopid to get it.

    *skips off to Iraq like a dum dum*

  34. LindaSoG says:

    I don’t know Pamela, but it pays to remember that observant and conservative Jews take religion and religiously-based holidays very seriously.

    Huh?

    Oh yeah, right, observant and conservative Jews who take religion and religously-based holidays very seriously are always posting videos of themselves in a bikini on the beach with their legs spread wide open.

    *snort*

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