From the August/September Reason (print edition):
Doctors at the Institute for Regenerative Medicine at Wake Forest University report success in regrowing healthy cells for diseased rabbit penises. Researchers say the process could pave the way for treating impotence in human beings.
—Which, while swell news for impotent males, is nevertheless a bummer for the French, who have long considered diseased rabbit penises something of a delicacy.
Or am I’m thinking of snails? Or the Koreans?
update: IS THERE A MULTICULTURALIST IN THE HOUSE?
I shall never eat escargot again. Thanks.
Dang it Jeff…Had a mouth full of coffee and darn near drown myself choking while laughing. You have an amazingly fun view of the world. I declare you a Frisch Free Zone!
EN RAISON DU CANNIBALISME!!!!
Who knew bunnies had such problems? I guess the healthy ones take up the slack for their disabled bretheren in order to keep the rabbit population up.
You are mistaken, sir. The French do NOT eat Koreans.
You mean that I can delete that line on my driver’s license that asks me which organs I’m willing to donate in case of death?
“Swell” being the operative word…
Hey, would you guys mind knocking cancer out before diving into more and better boner technology? Take out prostate cancer and a significant portion of future limpitude never happes, capiche?
And if Goldstein gets ahold of that stuff, people could DIE!
/preempting Retardo
The Koreans seem to enjoy fish jerky and stir-fried silkworms, the latter of which has an aroma that could raise the dead… on Mars.
The fish jerky, though, isn’t so bad after about four beers – an experiment I probably carried out about 500 times while I was over there.
I think that we should raise the dead on Mars. Haven’t they suffered enough?
An impotent rabbit? Now that’s just cruel!
Hey, would you guys mind ignoring Pablo and keep working 24-7 on the boner technology. 40 is coming like a fucking freight train and the Distinguished Gentleman downstairs could use a whole lot more jackrabbit and a whole lot less French Lop.
TW: straight. ‘nuff said.
You’re right, JEG. And PETA is pushing for universal health care for rabbits (single payer). Mark my words: the thin edge of the wedge.
Oh great. A few million years of evolution resulted in a few limp rabbits to help contain their numbers within reason, and now we have technology to give the little jumpers more and even greater reproductive opportunities.
Well, back to the basement and the kerosine-castor oil rabbit gay gene experiments.
I can’t stand the pressure.
Finally !!!!!! Good news, my own rabid penis is just about shot at age 51.
That’s RABBIT.
Sorry.
Why couldn’t they have used Irishmen for their experiments?
TW: job
My first thought was, “what will the zombie dogs think of this?”
Actually, that’s not true. I just like typing “zombie dogs.”
TW: Southern blot method.
BigJ:
Better safe than sorry. Does that thing ever “foam” at the “mouth”?
It’s sad to think of all the French rabbit eunuchs hopping around, flirting outrageously with the frogs in their little wheelchairs…
The good news: If they derive a cure for impotence from rabbits we’ll be able to have sex 20 times a day!
The bad news: For five seconds each time.
Sad, because they’re all jonesing for some Rooty Tooty Fresh ‘n’ Fruity, but they’re no longer allowed in IHOP.
The frogs, that is.
Well, everything’s a tradeoff. It’s still probably better than getting the cure from turtles.
I mean, it would shoot my whole summer to hell just getting ready.
Now be honest guys does that scenario really bother you?
Dude, if you need help in that department, I’ve got a few million emails I could forward your way…
The obvious question of why the heck they were even looking at diseased rabbit penises seems to have been missed.
I hope that job pays well… they probably can’t walk by the pet store without noticing if the bunnies have dick leprosy.
My insensitive take on multi cultural culinary habits is that the Chinese eat anything… or they call it medicine and dry it and… well… eat that too.
The animal parts markets in far northern Burma used to have supposedly potency enhancing river otter penis for sale, but the Chinese demand led the hill tribes to dynamite the rivers and well, so much for the river otters.
(on a side note, male otters often get so ummmmm involved… that the female dies. I’d think the Chinese women would be a bit leery of that remedy)
I just noticed: No leftists on this thread.
What. No sense of humor?
—
—
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Sure, cockslap me just for stating the obvious. I see how you people are.
tw: The dead on Mars. Hey, I don’t make this stuff up.
And in other well thought out scientific studies news, we have:
In which some idiot thought it was a good idea to test a woman’s preference in baby poop smell, and
Some other idiot actually funded it.
Swell news? I caught that too. “Bob swelled with pride”
TW: Black, you stereotyping racist.
Is stereotyping using a seperate keyboard for each hand?
Not the Japanese. They eat whale. I tried it too, but I didn’t end up hung like a pornstar. Should have asked for my money back…
Or maybe it reacted with the fugu…
Oh.my.god.
You guys are funny.
I started visiting here after Dr. Demento Frisch did her routine but I have to say…
You guys are goddamned funny and now I’m reading PW every day just to see what will nest force beverages through my nostrils because of laughter.
No, Jeff, the Koreans eat dog.
Marinated in Jack Spaniels.
Next question:
How did the bunnys end up with a diseased penis?
Too much yankee-my-wankee?
Never learned how to use a rabbit rubber?
They’ll love this over at Efrafra…
TW: Because I’m Captain Holly of the Sandleford Owlsa, damnit!
Whoa! You FOXy devil, Jeff. Were Brit Hume to utter my<> name … I might swoon a little too.
TW: “per” … or <i>”puurrrr” as you will.
Brit Hume mentioned Jeff? Excellent.
I believe it must be the Koreans who eat diseased rabbit schwanzes; the French haven’t gotten beyond spanking the pee-pee.
Finally, a cure for the penis in the pickle slicer…
TW: Once. Only tried it once.
Dan C.
It used to work but now its on the Frisch !
– We Jooossss get the “French Lop” thing out of the way early….Might as well be optimistic about your future prominence….
– We said Fresh meat…. not dead Martians….
I saw Tony Bourdain Travel Channel show where he went to Korea and ate a plate of steaming-hot sautéed chicken cloacas, which his cute Korean guide said were called “House of Poo.”
Hmmm… Diseased French rabbit penises or Korean chicken cloacas? So many choices.
Bourdain wasn’t a fan of the House of Poo. Too chewy.
I’m not sure I’d be satisfied with a rabbit penis.
Couldn’t they have experimented on horses instead? Perhaps not delicate enough.
tw: certain….. certainment!
Frisch and penis reivigoration in one thread. Egad.
Help me.
Does anyone else know of Frisch’s Restaurants and the Big Boy? I like Big Boys, but now I feel like I may. never. be. able. to. eat. one. again.
Help me.
The frogs, that is.
Would’ve worked either way, Kev.
Spamword, “larger.” Well, yes.
And Hillary’s still pissed at him.
On the, er, up side, it does cut down on the available time for conversation.
“It was a joke! I swear! It was a joke!”
Wel, but the rabbits still have their legs.
Or is it hard to hop when you;re holding your knees close together all the time?
They merely french them.
Take the Red pill and I’ll take you down the Rabbit hole,
The Blue pill and you’ll wake up in the morning .. with a bigger penis?
As always, my personal guru, C. Montgomery Burns, has an appropriate insight on that matter:
Smithers: “Shall I send out for some Chinese?”
Burns: “No, those people are all gristle.”
Geezer:
You probably wouldn’t want the Buddy Boy or the Brawny Lad, either. My advice, have the pie. Frisch’s always had good pie.
Hmmm.
As someone of Korean ethnicity I can only say:
I’ve eaten worse!
Fiddlehead Fern Soup
Which is evidently a delicacy in Korea but tastes like boiled socks and smells like stinky boiled socks.
The recipe is amazingly like the one my mother used to use except hers didn’t involve Unsalted butter, Onion, Chicken stock, Milk or cream, Lemon zest or Paprika.
As you can imagine. My mother firmly believed that if it didn’t kill you, it made you stronger. Which is why I was forced to eat this crap every spring for 11 years.