“One time, drunk on Scotch
and heavy with crab bisque,
I found myself wondering,
Why do the terrorists hate
us so?
“But then I sat up straight,
shook it off, and had my
butler fetch me a ripe homo,
Whom I promptly condemned
to hell.”
—written on a yacht piloted by laughably underpaid Haitians, July 11, 4:22 PM
What? I thought the previous post was about Greenwald.
Love the sinner, Jeff.
The homo, that is. It’s what Jesus would do.
Jesus never said anything about loving the blithering idiot though. So Greenwald is fair game, I think.
As Jocque Costeau used to say on his National Geographic specials,
Nah, the Captain and First Officer would be Anglo. The rest of the crew, however……
I dunno. Cubans are better navigators, if you ask me.
It just shows to go you that you can’t run a Kultist (tm) site without Nazis of the spelling kind. Everybody knows that the correct expression is not “fend of,” it’s “Fender Strat.”
TW: I write all my own material, and it shows.
A yacht?
More likely a galley, with slaves rowing. Jeff waterskiing behind…
So would that be a fresh homo or a slavishly persecuted one, whipped by a certain Armadillo in black patent pleather with a pimped-out diamond- and-steel dog collar?
Okay..I always have this problem…
How DO you tell if the homo is ripe?
I have the same problem with canteloupes and watermelons.
She that rocks: Same way with all three. You squeeze them.
TW: I hate myself for going for that line.
Well, like Alarm Clock said you squeeze them, and if they’re soft, well….oh, nevermind.
N. O’Brain: If they’re soft, you’re not doing it right.
What? I was talking about cantaloupes.
TW: “While” my watermelon gently weeps…
I have always tested the ripeness of melons and cantaloupes by thumping them and smelling the point at which the vine had been attached. While I’m sure that these methods will also work with homos, I would only employ the former and leave the latter for, I don’t know, maybe Deb?
Goldstein just got a shout out on Brit Hume!
Greenwald goes with the “Jeff is just as bad as Deb” gambit.
</blockquote>And the purpose of linking to the Sadly, No post was to demonstrate that the Grand Victim of the Weekend himself, Jeff Goldstein, routinely makes comments quite similar to the ones which caused such melodramatic hand-wringing, and yet the Beacons of Civil Discourse never condemn him for it.<blockquote>
Oh, and Brit Hume just mentioned all this on Fox, between segments with Bob Novak. Deb’s celebrity solidifies, as do PW’s VRWC credentials.
I think Patterico should cool it on the douchebag talk. I’m serious. How does he know some attorney from the Douchebag’s Association isn’t going to file charges against him? I’d be very careful if I were him.
Removed from context and then reconstructed into a new narrative that takes away provocation, it’s all just rhetorical violence.
Deb and I are Israel and Palestine.
Guess which one I get to be in the world of Greenwald and Sadly, No!
And now (very sadly, I have to say) QandO. Let’s call that the Mona Influence.
Ahem: I know that you meant to put this in, but you were called away to the phone: you shouldn’t squeeze douchebags, because they don’t like it, but melodromatic hand-wringing is permitted.
TW: Zipper: nah, that’s way too easy.
Brit Hume mentioned Jeff and I MISSED IT! Arg. Damn me for not having the tv on constantly. Pretty cool, though.
Yeah, but Brit Hume spoke your name, man! That’s like Knighthood, isn’t it?
I think Cubans only know which way is north.
If it’s any consolation, Jeff (not that I saw it, mind you), the sadlynopers are a little moody about the idea that you might be able to parley this into more readership for your site, minor celebrity, etc. Oh, and they’re posting that snippet of your supposedly threatening comment to Deb.
You know, I think they’re sadly fixated on you, too.
I guess Althouse distributes the blame about 60% Frisch, 40% Goldstein.
Or, I guess it’s parlay, isn’t it?
Jefe, in elucidating the meta-narrative, you seem to have facilitated a discussion of the meta-meta-narrative. So now my brain hurts. Can we talk about Barry Manilow now? Please?
TW: It’s hard to be serious and silly, both at the same time.
Scotch. Always the damn Scotch. And Water. And Ted Kennedy. Do the Kennedy’s still get a nickel a bottle for all the Scotch that enters the U.S.A.? And I want to know the name of that yacht! Was it “Unclaimed Brokeback Territory”? Why do “straight” and “ripe homo” occur in the same poem? “Crab bisque” and “ripe homo” and “buttler”, yeah, sure that!
Now,I’ll just have to start calling Glenn Greenwald “GiGi”.
I’ve got to stop writing to mario111, this is mind-twisting is killing me. I need another Witheld fix.
Anybody able to code an auto-apology generator that will send an apologetic email to Greenwald everytime a “conservative” blogger writes something that might be over the top?
“Anyone even thinks about saying “Parlay” and I’ll ‘ave his guts for garters!”
You heard about that tragedy at the Big Dig? Kennedy went out and bought a dog and named it Splat.
Ya know, I had a serious “ah-ha!” moment upon learning that Greenwald was Matt Hale’s lawyer.
I beg to defer, I always get better a douche when apply a little gentle pressure. Gentle is key though! Too hard and your a mess on your hands!
yeah, that AVG (Autonomous Greenwald Vehicle) is more effective than I thought possible
Begging to defer . . . is that like mooting?
Or we could just hold an ApologyThon.
For example, Jeff could write something like, “I’m sorry about that thing about touching your sister in her private places. It never happened. She did ask me to, though.”
Peace,
Jeff
Jeff Goldstein was a desperate little man
He carried two guns every day
He slapped a man with his cock on that West Virginia line
You ought a seen Jeff Goldstein getting away
You ought to seen Jeff Goldstein getting away
Jeff Goldstein stood in that old pasteroom
So drunk that he could not see
And a man walked up and took him by the arm
He said Jeff, come and go along with me Poor boy
Jeff, come and walk along with me
Transcript of Britt Hume’s Report, transcribed by twolaneflash:
“An adjunct professor at the University of Arizona has resigned after her threatening comments about a web blogger’s two year son created an online uproar. Self-described left-wing psychology instructor Deborah Frisch escalated a foreign policy argument with blogger Jeff Goldstein last week writing that: “If someone shot you and your tyke it wouldn’t slow me down one iota.” She also wrote that she hopes “no one Jon Benet’s the child”, a reference to the brutal murder of a young Colorado girl ten years ago, and made disturbing sexual remarks about the boy. Frisch, who has stepped after her department was flooded with emails, has apologized to Goldstein, but tells Inside Higher Education that the real issue is “how these rabid, crazy, right wing nut cases have stalked me, told on me, reacted totally out of proportion to a joke in bad taste”.”
The following words were on screen in sequence as the story was broadcast:
Professor Goes
Postal
Internet
Hostility
Repulsive Remarks
The Real Issue?
CORRECTION, sorry:
“Frisch, who has stepped down…”
Couldn’t having her stepping “up”, or “sideways”, or “out”, now, could we?
To be fair, I don’t recall the apostrophe in “Jon Benet’s”, twolane.
Greenwuss is such a great quivering vagina. No, I like vaginas, many of my friends have been vaginas, and he, sir, is no vagina. Now, festering cunt, I’ll buy, and I told him so, though the comment seems to have disappeared. That pesky internet, and its quirky…quirkiness.
I hope Misha hangs him by his heels and guts him like a Peccary. In effigy, of course. In reality, Mr Greenwuss has no guts at all.
Well, pardon my damn apostrophe! I’m ol’, tard’d’, hard’-o’-hearin’, an’, furtha’ mo’, I don’ giv’ ah’ dang’!
TO: Jeff Goldstein
RE: Greenwald Waxes Poetic
I get the distinct impression he’s ‘projecting’, here.
Regards,
Chuck(le)
Howsabout off the edge of a building? Too much to hope for? After all, I hear it’s the manly thing. Or is that ‘mannish’…
Oops, I forgot to say: “Bless your heart”!
TW: OCD, as in Dan’s lawyerin’ sure shows his
twolane–Try reading what I wrote in an ironical voice. Geez, I’m going to have to start marking these comments with stage directions.
Okay, /serious on; in response to – and in support of – Jeff’s comment:
I lurked most of the way (sorry – after a while I couldn’t bear to watch the meltdown) through the Frisch thing, and now I’m posting out in the open. Here’s why, if anybody cares:
1. Don’t simplify the real story and tell me what to think: Jeff is described as a “right-wing blogger,†while herself is described as a “professor.†Hanging convenient circumlocutions on the protagonists undermines the story. It’s sort of like, “Scott and Zelda were drunks, and they took a young man they affectionately called ‘Papa’ under their wing.†Nahh. The real story is more interesting, and more complex. In fact, it’s more interesting because it’s more complex.
2. Don’t put together a false dichotomy and tell me what to think. “Right-wing.†“Left-wing.†Like my professor used to tell me: don’t tell me, show me. What the hell are these “wings†that you’re talking about?
3. Don’t automatically knee-jerk and tell me what to think. This is, I am sure, one of the main reasons that most ideologues go for the ad hominem. Show me why somebody is wrong – don’t tell me it’s because they’re a Clintonista, or a Reaganite. And if you can do it with style – like JG does – so much the better. I don’t agree with JG all the time, but I always keep reading.
So – to all the bloggers, left, right, or discontinuous: don’t tell me what to think.
This Bud’s for you, Jeff.
/Serous off
Now, please, can we talk about Barry Manilow?
TW: “We have met the enemy and he is us.”
Sorry, Dan. OCD is an inside joke at my house, which my children and I say we are “exhibiting” whenever we are being overly meticulous. And really, I didn’t hear him say “apostrophe”, but then, the hearing wasn’t the first thing to go. Grammar got debilitated somewhere in the later years, too. Irony, I’m fighting to hold onto that one, along with humor.
Thanks & Peace
So when are you going to call in an airstrike on her house? And could you hit the UN while you’re at it?
Because the other Israel just opened a can of whup-ass.
Poke him with a stick. If Andy Sullivan posts a three-paragraph squeal about it, he’s ripe…
Naw, twolane, I didn’t really take that seriously, either. Besides, I’ll bet you Frisch did have that apostrophe in there.
No. It’s OK to sqeeze a douche bag. What ya don’t wanna be squeezin is a scum bag. As fer pokin homos, isn’t that on another site?
Goddamn bloggers. Goddamn poetry. Shit.
I would just like to know who in their right mind got the idea that Dr. Frisch was part of a “debate”.
Thank you for making that two separate sentences.
TW: Mary Jo Kopechne could not be reached for comment.
You win the thread, Rusty. With poetry.
Nice job.
tw: good
Personally, I prefer to squeeze fun-bags
Like most everyone else, I was agog as I watched the Frisch meltdown the other night. I figured there would be some fallout, but this is fucking amazing.
And as an aside, who the hell takes Mischa seriously? Oh, right…..
Scotch takes offense. Just so’s you know.
While this is very cool, apparently CBS is reporting that Jeff is a closet homosexual with mother issues and a fetish for small armored rodents.
Dan Rather says he has documents proving all of it.
“Alone”- You’ll never have to weather a “fake but accurate” CBS smearing alone )