…that KARL ROVE IS A FRIGGIN’ GENIUS!
(h/t Ardolino; related: “Bill Gates demands return of haircut”; or maybe, “Jeremy Piven fears foul play in loss of prized hair piece”)
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Recent Comments
- In The Mailbox: 02.28.23 (Afternoon Edition) : The Other McCain on Hey, longtime pw readers…
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Nuff said, Juan.
i’m sorry, i was tooo distracted by that critter on his head.
DAMN YOU GOLDSTEIN!!!! change your post and do my joke better…..
The Democratic party has always been the Republican Party’s best spokesman. It appears it will continue to be.
First he gets Plame/Wilson to sue him, and now this. Is there nothing the Dark Lord cannot do?
Sorry, Maggie. I was still taking it in. Such marvelous…shape…
Did he say dailykoos?
“Daily Cooze”, I think.
Hey, I try to get some o’ that m’self, y’know?
SB: higher
and harder
I’d appreciate some background on this parody.
It’s not parody. It’s a moonbat. A ginuwine kossack.
Daily couscous?
Did he actually say “Call me Deo.”?!?
You know, I was never a big fan of Dio. He was ok in Sabbath, but I never felt he could carry a band by himself.
Then again, “Holy Diver” is pretty bitchin’.
Apparently arabic isn’t the only language that Juan speaks poorly.
This is the web equivalent of the first-ever motion picture.
Like Ann Althouse’s latest forays into V-blogging, this guy’s video lacks basic production values. This has the feel of a bad Colbert Report sketch. And that’s BAD.
At least he didn’t say “Call me Ishmael”…
SB: looking
for a white whale
Well, with a brain trust such as that, who could resist the dark pull of Dio of San Fran???
Hey, Dio has the moonbat head tilt down pat. He must be authentic.
Marv Albert’s hair and Helen Thomas’s politics. What could be better? Ladies, take a number.
I could be a History Professor and get my news from Daily Kos too! Bet the lobotomy would hurt like a bitch though.
This is probably a bet. He was at the latest convention of History Professors – you know, Girls Gone Wild, Academe Version, and he bets some other professor $500. I can give an interview and tell the world that I get my news from Daily Kos, and they’ll believe me.
The other prof says, “Nobody’s that stupid, you’re on.”
I took a look at Daily Kos and Atrios once. I’d rather have a root canal without anesthetic. You quickly realize that half your fellow citizens are below average intelligence, and the average is painfully low.
This is an obvious put on. But I like it.
I couldn’t watch “Dio” for more than 2 minutes. I hope the punch line was good, because the setup was really boring.
He ain’t no Carlin that’s for sure.
Yeahhhh. That thing on his head? My cat coughed up one of those. I didn’t realize it was vogue to wear it like a hat. Huh.
Stephen King and Juan Cole…separated at birth?
Another one for the crazy-eyes museum.
This guy disses TV news while wearing a hairpiece that Mike Wallace wouldn’t bee seen dead in.
Comedy gold!
Uh, not Mike Wallace . . .
I meant Sam Donaldson, of course . . .
Not that Mike would be caught dead in it either.
Hey now, don’t make fun. He’s reality based. And that means he has opinions backed up by links to stuff he found on the internet.
Thank God he cleared that up for me.
TW: I am his student, he is my teacher.
Tuition at the University of Michigan cannot be any higher than the average Cole student’s No-Doz bill.
The man wore a red shirt to appeal to the toothless red state hicks, fer chrissakes. He owns you.
Did anyone actually listen to that whole thing…. OMG so dry and idiotic I stopped about 1:30 in. ‘I get all my news from the daily coze’ WOW no wonder you are an idiot.
So, is “Diogenes” (ummmmm, he changed his screenname from “Mark” to be “more open to people of other persuasions”????—I think I speak for the entire intertronic community when I say, “Mission Accomplished!”) serious when he says he’s from San Francisco?
I can’t believe it. With that haircu— errrrr, muskrat glued to his dome? Maybe Berkeley, maybe San Mateo, but not SF.
TW: I decided to axe that vid after the second time he slurped the drool from the corner of his mouth.
Me … I listened to the whole thing. Actually at times I was laughing pretty hard so I missed a few lines.
That ain’t no red shirt it is pink. What is pink the new red? I didn’t get the collar joke but that is ok I am glad I didn’t get it.
I am the only one who thought it looked like he was keeping Juan chained to the bottom of his desk? “Dio” would ask a question then look down at the floor for Juan to answer.
Juan is not the sharpest marble in the faculty lounge. The info/history he shared during the interview was very basic. That material is covered in a high school history class. You would think Daily Kos crowd would want Juan to offer more insight than India and Pakistan were partitioned in 1948 and that has not contributed to world peace.
Um…JFTR, the speaker at the start of the video is NOT Juan Cole; it’s this Diogenes fellow.
He’s got the deferential head-nod down, though.
…….uh…….where am I? ……..what time is it? I was watching some stupid video and I must’ve…
GOD DAMN YOU TO HELL GOLDSTEIN!!!
I slept through my tee time at Muirfield!
Move over Ambien.
So Ernie Douglass moved in with David Soul and picks from his closet from time to time.
That checks off 2 questions from the list.
Thanks!
I was about to turn it off, but then I noticed his red shirt with his assymetrical collar….
TW: He should turn down the left side of he collar a little.
This is a set up, right? Right??? RIGHT???
At least I know what happened to my dog, poor little fella. Asshole at the kennel said he went peacefully in his sleep, and had to be cremated.
Dio’s in for a big surprise if anyone scratches behind his left ear.
I’m with WAM. I tried, but didn’t make it past 2 minutes.
Gotta love the def of “reality-based” though. Oooooooh, references with links! I’m extra-impressed!
That was fantastic. But I had to watch it twice, the hair, pink shirt, and assymetrical collar had so distracted me…
Yeah, I found myself giving the monitor that same look that Eddie Murphy gave in Trading Places right about at the end of this line:
Thanks a lot… Every time the big D said “reality based” I blew milk through my nose and onto my keyboard. I had to stop the video… They didn’t go on to reference Zeno the Dark Lord of the Universe, did they? (I’m sure there’s a link for it).
The most disturbing thing to me is the fact that there are people like this that appear to be sane, (however poor their taste in hairpieces) but who actually believe that the media is biased to the right. It brings to mind the savaging of Chris Matthews many months ago as a tool of the rightwing.
Combine this with the attacks on Sen. Lieberman, and you come to the realiziation that there are at least thousands (if not millions) of people walking around out there that appear sane, but that are totally deranged. The reality that they and (and their reality based blogs) inhabit bears no similarity to the one the rest of us inhabit. And until you start talking to them, you have no idea who they are. They could be sitting next to you on the bus.
What is going to happen to these demented people when they lose again in 2006 and 2008? How much more can they take before they totally lose it?
I think we better start stocking up on thorazine……..
Like the affirmative head-nod after the first sentence of each of Cole’s answers. I wouldn’t wish anyone to watch the full hour of this train-wreck. Perhaps if we divy it up amongst our selves and watch it in joke proof conditions…
At this point, who can tell if Mike Wallace is dead or not?
Deb: Mr. Dio?
Dio: My friends and clients, they call me “Uncle Dio”
not to mention the fact you can hardly see Cole’s face. watched the whole thing… sorta…. here’s my impression…..
LOOK AT ME!!! I’M TALKING TO JUAN COLE!!! I changed my handle cause Mark in SanFran wasn’t neeearly pretentious enough, gots to sound important to talk down to rethugs, while also mesmerising them with my clothing and otherwordly hair, they’re easily distracted that way.
okay, OT, but somewhat related… did anyone else watch Valerie Plame making her statement the other day and think she was doing her damdest not to bust out laughing? I kept waiting for her to crack a big smile and go “gotcha!”
That dude’s fuckin’ scalp obviously isn’t a member of the reality based community, because it’s faker than a set of L.A. titties!
TW: fakeass titties; I kid you not.
maggie missed Valerie Plame statement. I am about to be catty but Ms (I just want job and privacy back) Plame looks like she had nose job. I guess if you are going to be forced into the public eye you might as well look your best.
schoolmarm, she looks all pouty saying something like “I would rather have kept my job as a public servant” sure ya would, sweety, how’s that book deal going?
“I guess if you are going to be forced into the public eye you might as well look your best.”
– Errr…. What?…Wilson missed pissing on one tree?
Dio!
Di-i-i-i-io!
Daylight come and me gotta go home!
Come Mister Juan Cole mon,
Talk to me on podcast
Daylight come and me gotta go home!
Me goin’ look so cool
Sharin’ in de bombast
Daylight come and me gotta go home!
And I thought the last of the spokesmen for the Soviet Union had retired! No idea that they were still recruiting spokesmen… give him a Marx/Engels Reader on the desk in its well worn black leather bound edition and he is ready to go…
I watched the whole thing. My IQ dropped so much I can no longer estimate by how much it dropped.
The good news is I realized that actus is really not that unusual. If Deo posted here I might assume it was actus spoofing us. Could Deo be actus? Someone who only watched 2 minutes or less will have to tell me. Also please tell me why Professor Cole does that thing with his hands. No, wait. That occured some time after 2 minutes. If you watched long enough to see that you probably don’t know why either anymore.
tw: fear
I used to know the meaning of fear, before I watched the whole thing.
Yes, Professor Cole shared this with us during a history lesson which he prefaced by promising that the history of partitions wasn’t always edifying.
– The Hillebeast was on the tube today, really giving the whole Jihadist gang hell on a stick. I’d like to think it was for American interests, but it’s probably more a case of the Jihad arm of the Democratic party fucking up the whole “appeasement” campaign. Those Aay-rabs. Such clowns. Always messin’ around.
I turned it off after Mark….sorry, DIO*….admitted to being a blogger. But I read everybody’s comments and I just had to see if this thing was as big a trainwreck as everybody made it out to be.
No, it wasn’t.
It was WORSE.
Jeezus Gawd, the incessant head-bobbing….and the lame “Texas Rangers” joke that Cole was too clueless to catch….and just all of it….this is almost as painful to have to view as an endless loop of the Numa-Numa guy.
*Diogenes – how fucking pretentious! Well, this guy’s talking like he has marbles in his brain instead of his mouth, so maybe it fits. And what’s with this “handle” crap? I thought people used nicknames, or nics, on the ‘net – I mean, “handle” – it just sounds so….so….Breaker-9-9-ish, so wannabe-prole.
TW: his – If that’s not Actus, it’s his twin.
The part where they both laughed, that killed my soul a little bit.
AS a holder of a film studies degree, I found his claim that television is designed to get people to watch commercials which are designed to get people to buy things to be incredibly transgressive and of truth speaking powerness to the hegemony.
It’s a novel perception that has only been hinted at by film studies programs since, oh, the 70s or so.
It’s of a piece with the Indian partition thing mentioned above.
Cutting-edge shit.
And I parphrase:
Mr. [Diogenes], what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this [blog] is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
When I was 13, after two years of intense nagging and whining for a leather jacket I finally got one. My brother bought me a cheap $30 special in Tijuana. I was so freakin stoked, I used to wear it indoors and finally my father just couldn’t take it anymore and said: “Take off that leather jacket, only dipshits wear jackets indoors.” Dipshits & Dios, wouldn’t you know.
The hell you say, Goldstein. Bill Gates gets his haircuts with a MUCH more expensive bowl…
That was just incredibly painful! The head-bobbing just did me in!
TW: She lost her mind just now.
The reality based blogs back up opinions with facts? When did this start?
tw-“done” as in put a fork in him.
Well, I watched the whole thing. “Well”, I at least learned where the Congo is. Except I already knew that what with me not being a dumbass and everything. Whats with the head bobbing? Is he narcoleptic or something? “I get all my news from daily Kos”. So, what’s the weather going to be like tomorrow? BECAUSE OF BUSHITLER!!! Catch the score for the ball game? BECAUSE OF BUSHITLER!!! I heard there was a house fire in town last night? STARTED BY BUSHITLER. oh and ROVE!!!!!! Yeah give me some of that reality based news. Now with fact with links! I think the WWE is more reality based then his community.
He pretended to say “buy for President” by accident instead of “vote for President”—TEH FUNNAY!!
Of course to them a fact is another opinion that agrees with theirs.
Meanwhile “I get my nooze from the Daily kooze” is trying to worm its way into a lyric in my head. Might just unretire the muse.
I think it’s about been covered now. Wake me in the morning.
Hey Di(l)do, the -dillo wants his blanket back, without, you know, the dandruff and the angel men’s scent. On second thought, it would be like being the recipient of Hillary RoadHam’s $2 tax-deducted skid-marked bloomers. Which, when you think about it, were worn on a similarly smarmy ass.
Professor Cole, can I ask you a question with regards to your first discussion with the leather jacket dude?
How would invading Congo – something you described as a worthy endeavor – help us in our efforts to combat militant Islam?
I can understand the strategic importance of Iraq. To its west is Syria, to its southwest is Saudi Arabia, and to its east is Iran. Each of these are state sponsors of terror. This is where the action is.
Now, I study the strategic location of Congo. I can’t figure out any reason to take it.
Additionally, how is it less humanitarian to pull millions of Iraqis out of a hell hole than to pull millions of Congolese out of theirs? I can’t figure out why Congo is preferred over Iraq…
Hey: That’s not a Bill Gates ripoff!
That’s the Modified Moe-cut so popular with campus stooges these days!
Wanna bet Al Franken’s rug isn’t covering up a trimmed up version of Larry the Lefty?
No really, you’ve gotta give it to Rove. Hands down the most evil, diabolical political strategist the world has ever seen. I didn’t think he could top the super-secret, Double Under-Snuff Fitzmas-Plameout Scheme but Vlogging Slobbering Head-Nodding Blogging Dionesian Moonbat in Kmart Toupe’ With a Side of Cole Slaw is, well, black-hearted; souless even. Dang, I’m all shocked’n awed again.
Caption: “Professor Juan Cole telling Larry and Curly to ‘turn the wrench the other way, you knuckleheads!’”
Reading Cole at least provides a Rice Krispies esperience – some “Snap, Crackle and Pop” and little nutrtion. Listening to him provides mush worse than overcooked day old oatmeal mixed with stale beer. I went back for all 11 min. of part 1… I’ve a masochistic streak, I do. He makes even his victimology boring. Stp me before I click again…
The theme music was perfect, though.
And people wonder why liberal talk radio nevwer work!
Oh. Oh. Oh. Is there anything more painful in all the world than watching the performance of a dumb guy who is convinced he’s a smart guy?
Can anyone make out the titles of the books on his shelf?
Stopping Hairloss Through Meditation
Boring Dad, Boring Son
NAMBLA: A Love Story
not sure.
I just can’t believe Cole’s post that Bush’s candid use of the “S-word” left him “shaken and trembling.” If Bush had dropped the F-bomb, would Cole have had a heart attack? What a gigantic pussy.
Or as a friend of mine said “Call me, Ishmael…” (with hand held like a phone). Laughed for hours on that one (but I’m geeky like that).
Enduring the possibility that a dumb guy who thinks he’s smarter than everybody else, might end up as president—as we all did for several weeks in late 2000, and again for maybe an hour and a half in 2004.
Is Jeff doing idiot savants this week? Noam Chomsky, Juan Cole, and Ward Churchill have allegedly married in San Francisco and intend to move to Utah with a truckload of lawyers and KY Jelly. Who is the wanker using my name in SF? He’s a dead man.
re: Texas Rangers – “I meant the baseball team.”
“The Congo. That’s in Africa right?”
Cmon, Dio’s frickin’ hilarious. He’s Andy Kaufman wrestling.