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Okay, no excuses this time.  We demand the armadillo dance&#8212

—Uh huh.  I tried that once.  I “demanded” ABC develop the sitcom idea I pitched them about a struggling female Asian standup comedienne (Margaret Cho) who gets involved with progressive politics and, against the advice of her conservative agent (Tucker Carlson), decides to give her career a boost by becoming a human shield in Saddam Hussein’s Iraq.  Tony Shaloub co-stars as the “translator” who doesn’t much like Americans (or Jews); and Whitney Houston stars as a crack addicted expatriate who, because she mistakenly believes she’s in Afghanistan, spends all her time looking for heroin and giving Arab men handjobs for a “hit of the hookah.” Cho’s hilarious weekly catch phrase?  “But I hate chick peas!”

ABC passed.

The lesson?  Never make demands on people who owe you absolutely nothing.  And, you know—never try to pitch Margaret Cho for anything other than warm-up sets for Green Day tribute bands.

Live and learn, people.  Live and learn.

34 Replies to “Okay, no excuses this time.  We demand the armadillo dance&#8212”

  1. Robert says:

    I’m confused. What armadillo? Why haven’t I heard about this before?

    You’re just making this armadillo thing up to focus attention away from John Kerry’s heroism in the Senate!

    I QUESTION THE TIMING.

  2. ahem says:

    So I assume the armadillo said ‘no’ again.

    Maybe he’ll start dancing if he reads this!

    It’s called a boost, son.

  3. Big E says:

    I still have nightmares about the time I was channel surfing and happened to land on Margaret Cho’s stand up movie, you know the one where she wears a tight, full body, leather outfit.  I haven’t seen an asian woman sweat that much since the US dropped the bomb on Hiroshima.

  4. JohnAnnArbor says:

    Is our little fellow a nine-banded armadillo?

    Because, if he isn’t, that means he’s an immigrant.  In which case, he’d better have a green card or papers.

    I suppose you’d better ask for papers if he’s a nine-banded anyway.  You never know when you might get charges with harboring an illegal alien, Jeff.

  5. Jim in Chicago says:

    That show would be better than just about anything on tv these days, definitely better than any sitcom. Paste-eating ABC suits!

  6. EFG says:

    I haven’t seen an asian woman sweat that much since the US dropped the bomb on Hiroshima.

    You Sir, are worse than Hitler.

  7. Big E says:

    You Sir, are worse than Hitler.

    Your right.  I should have said Nagasaki.  My bad.

  8. TODD says:

    Margraret Cho and the dillo you say?  Yeah,call me sick, but I would pay to see that….

  9. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Wow.  Crickets.

    See?  Cho is poison, I tell ya’!

  10. Beto Ochoa says:

    MagCho

    Gagcho

    ragshow

    \falbshow

    Spiritofthebulimicleftshow

    boneshow

    goneshow

    glowsho

  11. john (lesser) says:

    So good.

  12. Beto Ochoa says:

    crapulence

    corpulence

    nofugginsense

  13. Farmer Joe says:

    I used to like Margaret Cho back before she got political, when she was doing a lot of jokes about sex and her mom (not sex with her mom – that’d be a different act entirely). She’s a talented comic. Unfortunately, she’s gone down the road of taking money from people who laugh not because she’s funny, but because they hate the same things she hates.

  14. Dr. mojo says:

    Interesting. Very interesting…

    Tell me, when did you first see this… Armadillo, was it?…

    (scribbles on pad)

  15. Paul says:

    off topic, but I was wondering if Anna Nicole has anything to say about this:

    <a href=”http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/06/23/obit.marshall.ap/index.html” target=”_blank”>

    Thank you.

  16. creeped out says:

    I haven’t seen an asian woman sweat that much since the US dropped the bomb on Hiroshima.

    It’s a sweet bunch of people we have at proteinwisdom.com.  Big E, aren’t you the big disciple of Hunter Thompson who was lecturing the liberals at Sadly, No! recently?  I don’t think the good doctor would approve of your racist humor here. 

    tw:  stay as in, stay stupid, Big E.  Hey, it comes natural, right?

  17. B Moe says:

    I don’t think the good doctor would approve of your racist humor here.

    You think he would approve of illiterate idiots using words they don’t understand in his name?

    Me either.

  18. David Block says:

    Interesting selective humor on the left these days. It is more important to note who said the joke, their ethnicity, and their politics, than the joke itself.

    Amazing.

    Cho, Garafalo, and Rhoades (sp?) have never been funny to me, for I find that accidental political humor to be far better than the “over the top” jazz that they seem to specialize in.

    But that’s just me.

  19. lee says:

    Wow! Looking at that DVD cover, Cho seems to be half the woman she was last time I saw her.

    I would still drive to another part of the world if I thought there was a chance I might happen to see her in person though…

  20. creeped out says:

    You think he would approve of illiterate idiots using words they don’t understand in his name?

    Oh, my apologies, Big E, in fact it was your fellow redneck B Moe of whom I was thinking.  It’s so easy to get you crackers confused.

  21. me says:

    If that armored turd ever steps foot in Southern California, he’s road kill.

  22. Verc says:

    Dude, B Moe, I just found your favorite new stalker, creeped out.

  23. Big E says:

    It’s a sweet bunch of people we have at proteinwisdom.com.  Big E, aren’t you the big disciple of Hunter Thompson who was lecturing the liberals at Sadly, No! recently?  I don’t think the good doctor would approve of your racist humor here. 

    tw:  stay as in, stay stupid, Big E.  Hey, it comes natural, right?

    Shit, I knew I should have said Nagasaki.

  24. Verc says:

    I don’t think the good doctor would approve of your racist humor here…

    it was your fellow redneck B Moe of whom I was thinking.  It’s so easy to get you crackers confused.

    Well, at least he isn’t Jewish with a brother’s slang for the White Devil, now is he?

  25. Sean M. says:

    Shit, I knew I should have said Nagasaki.

    Orange you glad you didn’t say “My Lai”?

  26. B Moe says:

    Oh, my apologies, Big E, in fact it was your fellow redneck B Moe of whom I was thinking.  It’s so easy to get you crackers confused.

    Actually both of us referenced HST, and its obvious that it easy for you to get confused.

    By the way, nothing about Big Es joke was racist, or even bigoted.  A bigoted version would be something like this:

    I haven’t seen an asian woman sweat that much since Ted Kennedy asked for the Happy Ending.

  27. Donald says:

    Another pussy who wouldn’t say redneck to a redneck’s face, speaking behind a computer with his Johnson (Dick) in his hand.

  28. MarkD says:

    Send me to sensitivity training.  I didn’t laugh, only because I didn’t think the joke was funny – not because I’m offended that anyone said something about Hiroshima or Nagasaki.

    My sister-in-law was a little kid in Hiroshima when the bomb was dropped.  She was knocked on her rear by the force of the blast.  My father-in-law was working in the shipyards, and had traded days off with a co-worker.  Talk about good luck.  In fact, I met Mrs D. when I was teaching an English class at the public hall located at Peace Park in Hiroshima, about 100 yards from the epicenter of the blast.  I’ve said that makes the bomb the second biggest explosion that happened there. 

    Anyway, what makes a subject off-limits for humor?

  29. McGehee says:

    Anyway, what makes a subject off-limits for humor?

    That it’s a non-“progressive” making the joke, of course. Didn’t you get the memo?

  30. MarkD says:

    I went over to Townhall and signed up for the mailing list.  Must be the wrong one, because they are not “progressive.”

    I was going to sign my progressive friends up too, but then I remembered I didn’t have any.

    Ah well, better go drive around and rev up this global warming stuff.  Mild winters come to Syracuse, NY.  Who would have thought?

  31. Great Mencken's Ghost says:

    Big E — You should have said “Nanking.” Then the Japanese could have laughed and laughed… and the broomstick-up-their-ass ‘progressives’ would have had no idea what you were talking about…

  32. mojo says:

    A baby seal walks into a club…

    SB: further

    try the kool-aid, man

  33. cranky-d says:

    I got here late.  I couldn’t stand to face the heartbreak that the ‘dillo wouldn’t dance again.  And yet, I had still hoped for the miracle. 

    But it was not to be.

  34. I may have seen him at the mall today, in a texas souvenir shop, stuffed, lying on his back with a lone star beer in his paws. oh, and selling for $179.99 which is sooo much more than he was worth not dancing. drink up little guy.

Comments are closed.