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The kind of observation one feels free to make before he’s had his coffee, which is what he relies upon to kickstart whatever it is that controls the social graces

That Jared guy from the Subway™ commercials?  Dude looked a whole lot better as a great big jolly fat man, if you ask me.

Must be something about knowing you can eat a bucket of chicken and an entire Boston cream pie and it won’t make a bit of difference that gives the big person that special contented glow.

I envy that.

9 Replies to “The kind of observation one feels free to make before he’s had his coffee, which is what he relies upon to kickstart whatever it is that controls the social graces”

  1. me says:

    mmmm…

    I think I’ll have chicken for lunch.

    Thanks.

  2. corvan says:

    As most folks in the middle of a vodka binge will tell you, happy and healthy aren’t always the same thing.

  3. dougrc says:

    His looks remind me of a young Fred Gwynne…the future is not bright for Jared.

  4. spot says:

    …and lately he’s been coming off a little priggish in the commercials – kinda like an ex-smoker. 

    No No No Lilly.  I never eat crap anymore, thank you very much.

  5. Brian J. says:

    Have you noticed he’s porking back up?  His endorsements must have been providing adequate non-Subway food for his table….

  6. It’s those huge choppers of his that freak me out.  I think he got so fat because if he stops eating his teeth will continue to grow over his jaw and into his neck.  urgh, big long yellow Jared teeth.

  7. bokonon42 says:

    Let me have men about me that are fat;

    Sleek-headed men and such as sleep o’ nights;

    Yond’ Jared has a lean and hungry look;

    He thinks too much: such men are dangerous

  8. Ian Wood says:

    What did he do with all the extra skin?

  9. Blogging sans coffee is ill advised, to be sure.

Comments are closed.