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Overheard inside an Anbar province bunker, Wednesday, May 11

First militant: “Sometimes I wonder if our struggle against the American infidels and their Zionist masters is worth fighting, Wahid.”

Second militant: “Now is not the time for introspection, my brother.  The Marines dogs have surrounded us—and their firepower is fierce and deadly.  We must keep our wits or we shall surely perish.”*

First militant: “But that’s my point.  I don’t want to perish. I want to try double-cheese pizza and Cinemax after dark.  I want to see blond women kiss and play with each others’ smooth, white bosoms –”

Second militant: “—yes!  And just once to experience the pleasures of a fist or a string of anal beads!”

First militant:

Second militant: “…what…?”

First militant: “Nothing.  Let’s just load the weapons and pretend we never had this conversation.  Okay?”

13 Replies to “Overheard inside an Anbar province bunker, Wednesday, May 11”

  1. WindRider95 says:

    Love it!!!!

    Thanks for the laugh, Jeff…I needed it this afternoon.

  2. Jay says:

    You know, this entry would be funnier if you had actually provided some links to sites where blond women kiss and play with each other’s smooth, white bosoms.

    Not the anal beads, though.  That’ll just get you restricted

    Spam word: long.  As in, it’s been a long time since I posted a comment here.  At least, that’s what I think it means.

  3. Hoodlumman says:

    But let’s bump up the nostalgia and watch the Cinemax After Dark through the fuzz.

    That’s right, you all did it.  You didn’t get Cinemax but if you watched close enough, you could juuuust make out a nipple here and there through the static.

  4. shank says:

    Dude.  Those Islamist jihad fatwa guys are some kinky repressed bastards.

  5. Tman says:

    Marine Sniper:”Wow. That was weird. One minute those two were deep in conversation, the next they looked like they had just seen a ghost or something. Someone go drop a Penthouse in that bunker, I want to see if they spontaneously combust.”

    I think this turing thing is on to me. The TW was “corps” as in Jeff telling me to stop using the “Marine Corps Sniper tag” on his militants bit.

  6. Dittybopper says:

    Second militant: “—yes!  And just once to experience the pleasures of a fist or a string of anal beads!”

    First militant:  “Andrew Sullivan wears a CPAP mask”.

    Second militant: “…what…?”

  7. Alpha Baboon says:

    Like I’ve said many times , Jeff.. Package this ‘Overheard in a Bunker’ series and get it to market while the iron is hot.. It rocks.. I’m telling you.. and enlist TMan to cowrite the Marine Sniper parallel dialogue.. The back and forth Arab/American perspective is the best view of the war I’ve come across.. TMan, please, make Marine Sniper a regular co-feature..

    Christ you guys.. One day this series will become the M*A*S*H of the War on Terror..

  8. Alpha Baboon says:

    Second Militant: ….ok.. just one last thing and I’ll shut up… or Fatima with a two button strap-on.. ok thats it.. I’m done..

  9. zombyboy says:

    Ooo, Cinemax After Dark.

    I could go for some of that right now, too.

    Er, I’m sorry, what were we talking about?

  10. Lars says:

    Second militant: “—yes!  And just once to experience the pleasures of a fist or a string of anal beads!”

    Hmmmm, never thought about it before but Ben Wah does sound Arabic.

  11. kelly says:

    Fist? As in Robert Fist from the UK Independent?

    That Fist?

  12. N. O'Brain says:

    Reminds me of the old two-Indians[and/or Native Americans]-on-lookout-talking joke.

    You know the one where the punchline is “So why don’t you like your name, Two Dogs Fucking?”

  13. kat-missouri says:

    OMG…that was hysterical.

    No, he is not talking about Robert Fist.  Although, I feel for the guy with a name like that.

    On another note, adding to the conversation:

    Second Militant: “Yes, yes! Fist!  I would like to meet that woman from ‘Dances with Wolves’, Stands with Fists.  *dreamy eyed* Ohhh…

    Abu, don’t press that but…” *boom*

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