yin: “Would you mind stopping by the store on your way home and picking me up some tampons?”
yang: “Right. And while I’m at work, how about you build me a fucking tool shed…”
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Bitch!
yin: “Sure, and I’ll put your cot in there, too.”
Later. Yang at gas station register holding box of Tampax. YY male perusing porn rack. Sneers at Yang.
Yang: “I’ve got a real one at home.”
cont:
Yang: and she has my balls in a jar in the closet.
Jeff, as I once told my younger brother (who was bitching a blue streak to me because his wife had asked him to buy her some tampons), “Dude, they are NOT going to think you’re buying them for yourself!”
But I like the idea of having her build me a tool shed. Yeah, like THAT’S going to happen!!
Don’t you guys just hate it when the clerk yells across the store, “Hey I need a price on these tampons” though?
Reminds me of that great Richard Pryor riff about him wanting sex, and his wife saying, “I have my period.”
Richard: “What?? Again?? Bitch, you gon’ bleed to death!”
BAD Response
You have just authorized her input on your shed.
Gail – As a shopper for a seasoned citizen, I can tell you that “Hey, I need a price on these Depends” is more awkward.
yin: “Heh. Thanks Sweetie.. I knew you’d say that.. You always say that.. So I took the liberty of ordering up a nice 8’x10’ from Sears and they’ll be here about 9 to set it up.. I’ve been wanting a place to do my Martha Stewart arts and crafts projects.. We can share ! You can have half the back wall for your tools..
yang: “Wait..wait.. I’ll get the tampons..”
yin: “Too late….”
Gail & JWebb.. lubricant’s worse..
::loudspeaker::
“Pharmacy to register 5 please.. Pharmacy to register 5.. Price check on ‘Anal-Eze’ Desensitizing Lubricant’..
Then you always seem to have the idiot teens in the next checkstand going;
Butthead: Huh-Hu-Hu.. He said ‘Anal’.. He’s probably a Butt Pirate..
Beavis: Ya ! Ya ! He said ‘Anal’ Hehehehehe
Like a Butt Pirate..Like Long Dong Silver burying his treasure.. hehehehehe
Butthead: Shut up Beavis, you buttmunch.. I just said that..
Wow, he needs an entire shed for his fucking tool?
I feel so inadequate, all I need is a 1.5-foot overhang on my soffit.