Barbra Streisand: “You don’t bring me flowers…”
Neil Diamond: “Oh quit your bitching, would you? You insufferable hag.”
****
update: “I mean, Christ—how did The Main Event not finish you off, anyway?”
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Perish the thought. If Main Event finished her off, we would have been denied the pleasure of Nuts. Do you have a soul, sir? Do you?
Neil Diamond hasn’t had any balls since he recorded Hot August Night in the early 70’s.
Odd. I have it on good account that his testicles disappeared with a tiny _pop_ during his recording of the soundtrack to Jonathon Livingston Seagull. And now I’ve got to scrub both the image and the remnants of the soundtrack from my brain.
JLS was the first record album I ever owned. No wait—the first album I ever owned was The Archies’ Greatest Hits. Then one Christmas I got an Osmonds compilation. What can I say, I had me some gooood taste when I was a sprog.
I still own the Seagull thing. ”Look at the way I glide/Caught on the wind’s lazy tide/Sweetly how it sings/Rally each heart at the sight/Of your silver wings!”
I’m still trying to remember 1979.
A Poem for Neil Diamond-
Money
Talks
But it Dont
Sing
and
Dance
and It Dont
Walk
As Long As
I can
have you here
with
me
I’d much rather
be
Shooting a fucking Gap Commercial.
I fucking loathe Neil Diamond. I can’t even stand any of his early stuff, the things that a lot of people can tolerate. “Sweet Caroline,” for instance, makes me want to puke.
And don’t even get me started on the abortion that is “Cracklin’ Rosie.”
“Nobody heard me, not even the chair”
Hey, recliner, I’m talking to you. Don’t make me come over there. I’m going to kick your La-Z-Boy ass!
Know what I’ve grown to like about Barbra Streisand?
Hey Jeff. Really good show. I mean REALLY good can’t understand the conflict though.
Playing the contrarian role here, I think “I Thank The Lord For The Nighttime” is a kickass song. Always have, always will.
Andrea Harris, I did not want to read that before coffee. JLSeagull makes my skin crawl.
Webb? What have you grown to like about BS?
Hahaha.. ya know what.. It just occurred to me that I’ve been reading this whole section thinking you all were talking about Neil Young…
It was funnier that way.. Everyone knows Neil Diamond has no balls… but it did strike me as odd that no one mentioned drugs..
The Main Event, that’s the one where she plays the boxer who has her nose broken by Ryan O’Neil and has a while she’s in the hospital Ali McGraw shoves a pillow over her face. Right?
(creepy word thing : live)
Ah, Sean, but porcupine pie, porcupine pie, porcupine pie…
“There are two types of people in this world: those who like Neil Diamond and those who don’t.”
I always liked the Feelies’ version of “I’m a Believer.”
Good lord. Someone had to tell me that this thread existed.
Do not pick on the Jewish Elvis. He is King.
Grumpy,
Dave at Garfield Ridge