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The “if in 1979, Neil Diamond had any balls” post

Barbra Streisand: “You don’t bring me flowers…”

Neil Diamond: “Oh quit your bitching, would you?  You insufferable hag.”

****

update:  “I mean, Christ—how did The Main Event not finish you off, anyway?”

19 Replies to “The “if in 1979, Neil Diamond had any balls” post”

  1. Blackjack says:

    Perish the thought.  If Main Event finished her off, we would have been denied the pleasure of Nuts.  Do you have a soul, sir?  Do you?

  2. Daniel says:

    Neil Diamond hasn’t had any balls since he recorded Hot August Night in the early 70’s.

  3. Neil Diamond hasn’t had any balls since he recorded Hot August Night in the early 70’s.

    Odd.  I have it on good account that his testicles disappeared with a tiny _pop_ during his recording of the soundtrack to Jonathon Livingston Seagull.  And now I’ve got to scrub both the image and the remnants of the soundtrack from my brain.

  4. JLS was the first record album I ever owned. No wait—the first album I ever owned was The Archies’ Greatest Hits. Then one Christmas I got an Osmonds compilation. What can I say, I had me some gooood taste when I was a sprog.

    I still own the Seagull thing. ”Look at the way I glide/Caught on the wind’s lazy tide/Sweetly how it sings/Rally each heart at the sight/Of your silver wings!

  5. JWebb says:

    I’m still trying to remember 1979.

  6. Jack M. says:

    A Poem for Neil Diamond-

    Money

    Talks

    But it Dont

    Sing

    and

    Dance

    and It Dont

    Walk

    As Long As

    I can

    have you here

    with

    me

    I’d much rather

    be

    Shooting a fucking Gap Commercial.

  7. Sean M. says:

    I fucking loathe Neil Diamond.  I can’t even stand any of his early stuff, the things that a lot of people can tolerate.  “Sweet Caroline,” for instance, makes me want to puke.

  8. Sean M. says:

    And don’t even get me started on the abortion that is “Cracklin’ Rosie.”

  9. Blackjack says:

    “Nobody heard me, not even the chair”

    Hey, recliner, I’m talking to you.  Don’t make me come over there.  I’m going to kick your La-Z-Boy ass!

  10. JWebb says:

    Know what I’ve grown to like about Barbra Streisand?

  11. Misunderstood says:

    Hey Jeff. Really good show. I mean REALLY good can’t understand the conflict though.

  12. Playing the contrarian role here, I think “I Thank The Lord For The Nighttime” is a kickass song.  Always have, always will.

  13. gail says:

    Andrea Harris, I did not want to read that before coffee.  JLSeagull makes my skin crawl.

  14. gail says:

    Webb? What have you grown to like about BS?

  15. Alpha Baboon says:

    Hahaha.. ya know what.. It just occurred to me that I’ve been reading this whole section thinking you all were talking about Neil Young…

    It was funnier that way.. Everyone knows Neil Diamond has no balls… but it did strike me as odd that no one mentioned drugs..

  16. The Main Event, that’s the one where she plays the boxer who has her nose broken by Ryan O’Neil and has a while she’s in the hospital Ali McGraw shoves a pillow over her face.  Right?

    (creepy word thing : live)

  17. Chris says:

    Ah, Sean, but porcupine pie, porcupine pie, porcupine pie…

  18. Good lord.  Someone had to tell me that this thread existed. 

    Do not pick on the Jewish Elvis.  He is King.

    Grumpy,

    Dave at Garfield Ridge

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