The A.V. Club is doing that covers thing again. Some good ones in there.
Adult Swim is putting out some funny short shows. Childrens Hospital is one. NTSF:SD:SUV:: is another.
Also, there is this book titled Vurt that hasn’t become a cult favorite somehow. If you were going to pitch it, you’d say it was Naked Lunch meets Inception meets Trainspotting meets Tron.
That’s all I got. You must now recommend something (awesome dog breeds, dangerous sexual positions, best towns to kill a man in, easy-to-clean food processors) or the internet will become sad and keep crashing on you tomorrow.
there’s a trampled by turtles music at the first link Mr. geoff specifically here
In no particular order:
The dangerous sexual position is, I think, self-explanatory.
we need some taco recipes
getting shit refinished is expensive I do not recommend it you should just realize there is a reason you don’t have nice things plus I bet these bastards want cash
Commended. And re-commended.
Plus, chickenbonestick mounted chicken ice-cream bars, sprinkled with mushrooms (you know the kind). Dinner and a show, Commendatore.
There’s this little part of Yellowstone Park that has no legal jurisdiction, so there’s no way to prosecute any crimes. You’d have to seduce the guy there, though, because if you dragged him there, that would be kidnapping and that’s capital, so what’s the point?
I like Labs and dogs that are mixed with Lab.
I got nothin’ for the sexual positions or the easy to clean food processors. I don’t believe either one really exists.
O, easy to clean food processors do exist. They’re called Robot Coupes, and when you’re done using them, you hand them to the Salvadorean guy over at the pots and pans sink by the corner of the kitchen. Easy-peasy.
I was really hoping for a recommendation on the easy-to-clean food processor.
Here’s the most fun cover I’ve heard in quite awhile.
well this recipe suxs
“Capacity prices were higher than last year’s because of retirements of existing coal-fired generation resulting largely from environmental regulations which go into effect in 2015,” Ott said. “The retirements impacted northern Ohio to a larger extent than the rest of PJM for several reasons including inherent transmission restrictions, and the level of retirements in that area relative to the rest of PJM. Yesterday, PJM’s board approved significant upgrades to address the transmission issues.”
Read more: http://tdworld.com/business/pjm-aapacity-auction-0512/#ixzz1vePIxX9y
I was really hoping for a recommendation on the easy-to-clean food processor.
hire an illegal you already have a shower.
Dog breed?
If you don’t rescue a Keeshond, the terrorists win. http://www.foreverkees.org/
Dangerous sexual position?
Any Thomas Keller French Laundy recipe. Wherever you see fois gras, substitute KY.
Best town to kill a man in?
Reno. I hear you can shoot a man in Reno, just to watch him die!
Easy-to-clean food processors?
Shit, do I look like Ron Popeil?
dangerous sexual positions,
self pleasure as society’s goals
Well, I did say Belgian schnauzer.
/Obama
All of them are dangerous I’m pretty sure or maybe I’m just not doing them right. Did I just say that out loud? What’s everyone looking at?!
You should consider self-pleasuring with less danger. This is how we lost David Carradine.
really?
obama is one whimpery whimpering scared motherfucker bless his low-class food-stamper heart
Gotta figure though, Obama doesn’t think he’ll see any blowback after his ass is pitched from office come next Nov. It’s a good bet he’s right too. Romney is big into pussification.
This is how we lost David Carradine.
yea the kung fu fighting didn’t work out for trayvon™
How can that be?
I think the best you can do is to dismember the body and leave the parts scattered in Arizona, New Mexico, Utah and Colorado, and hope jurisdictional confusion will do the rest.
Remember to do the dismembering ahead of time, or you’ll disturb the tourists.
I’m led to believe that Sarah Palin just endorsed Orrin Hatch. I think I may be voting for Gary Johnson.
She did. I’m disappointed.
Now I’m not sure. She had endorsed him last year, but I don’t know if she stands by that endorsement.
I grabbed this set wicked cheap at Woot and it’s been very, very good to me. Very versatile, plenty powerful, and easy to clean. More readily available variations are out there.
Sarah Palin said she is joining the ranks for Mark Levin and Sean Hannity to endorse Orrin Hatch for Senate in Utah
Huzzah!
I would like to recommend to readers and to not so good readers the pop-up book illustrated by Maurice Sendak with mechanisms by Matthew Reinhart, and it was written by some guy named Arthur Yorinks who wrote a bunch of other stuff you might have heard of. So a collaboration, you see. The pop-up book Mommy? is a touching tale the triumph for the human spirit over various horrors and adversities including the banality of monstrous ineptitude. The book has a well developed plot with interesting characters, very good arresting breathtaking settings, and page to page conflict with full satisfying conclusion at the end where it should be, where all good novels have them.
The book is a must for every serious pop-up book collection. It appeals to adults as well as to children, and puppies and kittens, fears are faced straight on and conquered, perseverance and good cheer win out in the end. Do buy this book you will not be disappointed.
Too slow. Huzzah for Pablo.
I’m not too sure about Orrin Hatch.
I’d vote him out just on the principle that at his age, there’s no way to keep the fear of the tea-party in him after the election.
Thank you for your service, Senator Hatch. Try to accept your gold watch with more grace than Senator Lugar, will you?
the Yellowstone Park scenario is fleshed out in C J Box’s Free Fire, among other of his novels
All I’ve got is a harumph. And maybe a blech.
I recommend this comment, and double down.
Paul Mirengoff is happy about the Palin endorsement. “Hatch has fought, and often led, the good fight for decades, and in my opinion deserves to be re-elected.”
Hatch’s average lifetime NTU rating (72) is only 2 points better than Lugar’s (70). Utah needs to do better than that.
I’m led to believe that Sarah Palin just endorsed Orrin Hatch
go team rah rah!
Paul Mirengoff is happy a
powerline paul the clown who “took a leave of absence” for his warbolings at flaccid line. good allah pauly you’re a joke
***
***
jeez blow my other dick hoochie
Bruce Willis beefs on Romney. Esquire promotes the story as “Willis bags on Romney”, leading their echo-chamber readership to believe that even closet conservatives like Willis think the whole magic underwear package is a bit much. But Willis is sounds positively visigothic to me:
I recommend crock pot dinners and braising cheap tough roasts until some one has the gargantuan nads required to toss out all this “grain raised to make ethanol fuel additives” crap.
Also organic tomatoes and free range steroid free chickens really do taste better( a lot less meat on those chickens though).
I’m not sure why, but they do. Maybe organic farmers grow a different breed of tomato than the regular farmers do? Maybe chickens NEED some gaminess?
Organic everything else is a scam though.
“I’m not sure why [organic tastes better]”
I’ve heard it’s because it hasn’t been previously frozen.
When they came for the SUV’s I said nothing for I didn’t have an SUV. When they came for the smokers I ignored it because I didn’t smoke. When they came for my sugar I pulled out my switchblade and charged them through my glass sliding doors that lead to the porch. And they ain’t my teacher no moooooorrrrrrre.
“I’ve heard it’s because it hasn’t been previously frozen.”
It’s worth thinking about. I may look up a real butcher shop and ask about that. And then get half a calf.
we need an “ignore the mbm month”. that is all.
veal chops mmmm
what’s the intrade line on “stupid society 2012”?
I don’t want to buy chicken what hasn’t been frozen unless it’s been butchered gleefully and relatively locally
I recommend buying one of those electric pressure cookers. I really do.
I’d rather have a vertical water smoker.
Like a bong?
mom used t0 make fried chicken in an electric pressure cooker but she still said it messed up her kitchen so she donated the pressure cooker to a garage sale for the arts
yes that story has no point really
Isn’t that how the Colonel does it? With a pressure cooker?
Fried chicken that is.
No. Like a barrel smoker, only stood on one end with a water pan between the food racks and the firebox, which is inline instead of offset.
I smoke cigars. Hookahs and bongs are for dirty hippies.
It’s cool, Ernst. No one is judging you here.
Would we like for you to get help? Of course. Judging? No.
There are frozen organic fruits and vegetables as well as chicken and fish available, even at the E-vil Walmarts.
I was chatting with some foodie folks on another website and they were (generally) up in arms against GMO foods. You know, the ones that produce abundant yields of rice and corn for Africa and India were starvation in the real deal. One pious twerp went on a rant about never eating GMO foods (of teh devil, it was implied) and then mentioned how she loved Golden Rice. I had to burst her balloon by leading her to information the tells that ta da! Golden Rice is a GMO food.
She probably gets sad everytime she eats it now.
Yeah. My addiction to barbecuing spare ribs on an inadequate kettle grill is getting to be a real drag.
genetically modified ???
Did you tell her it’s all genetically modified unless she’s out scrounging for berries and acorns?
Was fried chicken places use a pressure fryer, bh. The Colonel was the first, I believe.
I’ll sell you my vertical smoker, Ernst. Only used once since we dislike smoked food, except lox and I can get that at the deli.
I didn’t bother, since talking to Organic Only people is like talking to Vegans.
It was way less embarrassing for you when you were Stoney McStonerson a couple minutes ago.
That’s grilling. You’re grilling ribs.
May the Lord have mercy on your soul.
I’m holding out for one of these leigh.
This isn’t going to turn into BBQ wars, is it?
Nice Ernst! I’d make a bit of noise about summer being right around the corner and Father’s Day coming up.
I know I’m grilling spare ribs. I don’t want to grill them. I want to slow cook them in a smoker.
What? You one of those so-called grill jockeys who thinks barbecue means sauce?
BBQ wars? Let’s find out:
Charcoal or gas?
Father’s Day leigh? Do you mean annual give dad a stupid tie day, or do you mean long, slow, wet, BJ day?
I’m choosing to interpret this as my pw friend Ernst got really high and then he was joking around and talking about grilling ribs.
We’re all going to agree that this never happened the same way that no one ever busts my balls for subject-verb disagreements.
Okay, I get it now. You do all your grilling on one of these, don’t you?
Suburbanites going on about BBQ crack me up. Just get a measuring stick and pull out your dicks already. Happyfeet will be much pleased to examine them.
Everybody needs a hobby.
The rubes are the last to know, again. I called this IPO correctly priced when it came out, and lo and behold I was talking out my ass. Who knew?
That was not an offer to buy or the solicitation of an offer to sell.
Just sayin’.
For the record, I have an enormous cock. That handles old bbq business, right?
For new business, I figure it’s hard to imagine a client getting better service from their underwriters than FB did. Whale of the century and they priced it high. That’s why you pay their fees. That’s the only reason you pay those fees.
If we wanted to be dicks about it we’d mention how we lived in thousands and thousands and thousands of square feet, Abe.
I only live in thousands and thousands of square feet. All I could afford.
But at least I can walk downtown in less than five minutes. So there’s that.
It’s this thing I’ve recognized for awhile, Ernst. We live well in our parts.
We can’t be mocked. It’s like retarded people flipping us off at the bus stop. They mean to hurt our feelings but I’m not entirely sure how that’s supposed to work.
It’s a bit like that cartoon Darlene was upset about.
I’m not even sure how that’s supposed to bother me.
Recommendation?
THIS is how one treats a Puss-in-Jackboots pussy on the Twitter!
That is SO not true! IT’s nothing but inbred cousin fuckers and guns and pickup trucks and guns and greasy fattening ginormous slabs of meat. And potatoes. And more meat. And pasta, with meat sauce. And potatoes. And there’s no culture. Not a single independent movie house showing foreign films anywhere. And miles and miles and miles of farmfields. Nothing to see at all.
DO NOT MOVE HERE. DO NOT!
(Damnit bh! ixnay on the ivinglay ellway)
Is that an invitation?
I’ve given this some thought and I now realize that I live in a pit of despair that only death can cure.
This is a very bad place to live. Very bad.
Did I mention the winters?
You know those Deliverance hillbillies?
They were grateful to escape from the upper midwest.
Those The Hills Have Eyes freaks?
The went underground to escape the bands of ravening neck tatooers!
Two words… ice ghosts.
Don’t let them touch you,or you’ll turn into Lutefisk!
The Chippewa and Dakota lure you into their casinos and then they scalp you!
The lakota don’ need no steenkin casinos to scalp you!
I usually roast spare ribs with ginger and brown sugar on them. They turn out almost candied. I do smoke brisket, chicken legs, sausage, cod (half wrapped in foil), and pork butt from time to time. I also smoke pork chops and sirloin now and then. And lately the sausage I’d buy at the Southside Market in Elgin has changed so I don’t get much of that anymore.
I quit grilling/smoking beef ribs because the store stopped selling any good ones. And I don’t go to a butcher to get beef ribs because I’m afraid that it will become a “thing”. But I want to. I certainly talk about it.
I’d like to do a brisket sometime, but I don’t want to muck around with the fire on a charcoal kettle for twelve hours.
There’s a chicken and waffle joint that opened up where a healthy sandwich place used to be on Burnet road. They are called Lucky J’s. The chicken is fried to a dark brown like in the old days before golden became the style. It’s pretty good but the prices are higher than I like to pay. And waffles are just waffles. Nothing special can really happen there.
I guess I ought to just go to Pluckers instead for boneless wings, waffle fires, and a gentle. smooth, American pussy friendly beer that isn’t trying to impress anyone and goes down smooth like Mickey’s or some other cheap ass malt liquor.
Eight is usually good for a brisket. And you can always do the “finish it in the oven” thing when once it takes on the smoke and the outer crust is nice and scorched. Not the best results but still good results. Of course if you have one of those barbecue expert assholes who check the depth of the smoke ring around that will lead to social tragedy.
Oh yeah, if you ever make pineapple and cherry and black mollasses glaze ham in an oven, do NOT repeat DO NOT use fresh pineapple. Use the syrup packed stuff in cans. Fresh pineapple will turn the ham into a strange bland pink paste because the juice has an enzyme that partially digests the meat. Only used CANNED pineapple rings or chunks with ham. Bland pink paste makes no one happy.
double entendre?
In four days I’m going to smoke a pork butt for about 10 hours.
If we wanted to be dicks about it we’d mention how we lived in thousands and thousands and thousands of square feet, Abe.
We call those things our beach houses.
We call them garages.
Later today I think I’ll smoke an El Rey del Mundo Robusto Suprema down to the butt.
“double entendre?”
No, I’m am just a sad, easily frightened, pussy when it comes to beer. And American beer seems safer somehow. Except for Red Rocket. That beer is silently hunting me like the mummy hunts those who violate his tomb. It is an evil beer and it resents that I escaped its clutches and it wants to finish what it started…in my mouth.
I have a mild form of something like a beer related PTSD.
Joke a brit told me years ago: Why is drinking American beer like having sex in a canoe?
They’re both fucking close to water.
Here’s what you pay three times more for on the East Coast: neighbors from Jersey.
Neighbors from Jersey are a) fat, b) grotesque, c) loud. See, that’s a bit like you’d find around here but they’re also grotesque and loud.
At least American beer is cold. That’s most of what I want from it.
I kind of hate to break this to you, but the Jersey you see on television is as manufactured as the “conservatives” you see. That was my first clue about the media you might say. I can testify from first hand observations that Wisconsin(ites?) are large tubs of goo though. That ain’t no lie!
I’ve been east.
Just as fat. Bigger hair. Louder.
There are stats on these things, of course. If Wisco is fatter it’s by a couple percentage points.
If Jersey is a parking lot full of shrieking whores, that’s more of an empirical fact.
You’re talking about Italian-Americans, wherever they happen to be. They’re a subculture, not the dominant culture. The dominant culture is highly attractive low-talkers.
I’m willing to grant non-Italians shrieking whore status if they’re from Jersey. But only if they’re incredibly loud and stupid. Which they are if they’re from Jersey.
Yeah, I think I’ll take our extra percentage point on obesity.
(This is sort of a performative on how I don’t really find the fat midwesterner theme to be terribly worrisome myself. I don’t really hate shrieking, whoresome Jersey-folk. Some of them I quite like and others I dated.)
I probably wouldn’t have graduated from high school with my virginity intact if I was surrounded by shrieking whores. Had I grown up in Wisconsin, I’d probably have been bored with sex by 16.
Here’s the thing, we don’t really feel inferior around here. Sorry. We’re not fatter. We’re not more stupider. We also have negative stereotypes for people from other regions.
I can’t get outraged about it. It’s just funny to me.
Did you tell her it’s all genetically modified unless she’s out scrounging for berries and acorns?
Yea, wild berries are tiny, and the thorns are nastier – so chop chop, they’d best get busy and bring bandaids.
Had I grown up in Wisconsin, I’d probably have been bored with sex by 16.
People in Wisconsin have a lot of sex? I did not know this. I actually didn’t know that teen-sex was a regional thing. I thought it was – generally – a teen thing.
. I can testify from first hand observations that Wisconsin(ites?) are large tubs of goo though. That ain’t no lie!
Here is a general observation I make from moving from a CITY to the country.
The kids living out in the country are generally fitter. I really don’t see too many fat kids out here, where-as in the city the number was greater. Even in high school – most of the kids are pretty fit, aside from a few outliers.
As adults, the MEN tend to be fitter (or at least have an appearance of health- being skinner, although the lines of them with 24 packs of beer every thursday, friday, sat night make me wonder), where as the women less so. Less so than the men. The men out here are more likely to hunt, and fish, and haul cords of wood, etc, which is why I think they stay fitter. My neighbor stays pretty fit, but he works two jobs (out of choice, he’s pretty wealthy) but on his days/hours off he’s always working around the yard.
This thread is fun.
Whole hog roasting on a spit this weekend.
Recommendations – Walts Double Decker pizza in Marion, IL, Javelin Astrale w/ Campy components, Larry’s House of Cakes iced sugar cookies, Orca sleeveless wetsuits, SRAM S80’s, and Elizabeth Spencer 2007 or 2008 Cabarnet.
Oh, and you can never go wrong with pork butt and brisket.
Anybody else here watch “Archer”? Absolutely hilarious.
Is it funnier than Duck Dynasty?
Can’t say, JD. I’d never heard of it until you mentioned it.
Archer is animation, so a lot of people balk right there.
People in Wisconsin have a lot of sex? I did not know this. I actually didn’t know that teen-sex was a regional thing. I thought it was – generally – a teen thing.
That whole string of incomniac smack talk comments wasn’t meant to be taken seriously. The substantial number of morbidly obese people in Wisconsin who loiter at highway rest stop fast food places might have led you to think we were serious though.
Insomniac, sigh.
Duck Dynasty is without a doubt the funniest reality show I’ve ever seen.
Ah. Well then.
Nevermind.
Dale – I am trying to watch Archer. Admittedly, I do not care for the genre, but have them on the DVR. I will give it a fair look.
Ditto what Abe said. Funniest reality show ever. Not even close.
To return to the original post, and simultaneously continue with the equipment-measuring theme: My easy-to-clean food processor is an eight-inch chef’s knife.
JD–do give it a shot. It’s not the typical animated humor fare, as I haven’t given Family Guy a glance since I started watching Archer. And it’s worth starting from the beginning, given that the characters make reference to things which happened in prior seasons.
I don’t have the patience for BBQ. Fire up the gas grill, toss on chicken, veggies, potatoes, etc and I’m good to go.
The best dogs in the world are Great Pyrenees.
Easy cleaning food processors only exist for those that have kids they can pawn the job off on.
Yeah, I’m late to the thread. Really late.
Oh, and bh? How did the Brew Crew manage to lose two of three to the worst team in baseball? Inquiring minds and all that.
Best dogs in the world are mutts from the pound. Everybody knows that.
“awesome dog breeds, dangerous sexual positions, best towns to kill a man in, easy-to-clean food processors”
1. Mutts. Most breeds have inherent health problems.
2. Anything in her father’s living room.
3. Cuidad Juarez.
4. A quality set of kitchen knives. Plus, it just seems more like cooking if you cut up the stuff yourself.
Wow! Squid can make chimichurri with a chef’s knife!
Dale – good advise. I have tried to watch episodes here and there, and that is not working.
squid has skills.
Then I did last Sunday right, whilst tiling a backsplash. Yay, me!
BTW, if you don’t have a mandoline, what the hell is wrong with you?
You tiled a backsplash with pork butt and brisket?! That is awesome on so many levels.
just discovered Duck Dynasty by accident last week – the various goobers were crafting the Guiness World Record Largest Duck Call EVAH! Hilarity ensued!
Think Beverly Hillbillies with 20 more IQ points.
I’d give em’ more than 20 IQ points on the Beverly Hillbillies. I watched a bunch of episodes in a row because I was late to the show, and I thought it was a scripted mockumentary at first. I couldn’t square how it seemed designed to make fun of these people and their lifestyle with the fact that they all have so much wit and an underlying sophistication that belies how they’re otherwise being portrayed. Even Si has moments of genius.
I cannot think of anything I don’t like about that show. Jase, Phil, Si. The best writers in the world could not create those guys.
I screened Pocahontas to see if I could watch it with my daughter (well, about ten minutes). Not recommended unless it is part of some plan to inoculate against future education and media indoctrination.
OK honey, we are five minutes in and the scene is set: the white Westerners are evil and only interested in gold; the brown non-Westerners are good and are one with Mother Gaia. This basic theme will be jammed down your brain for the rest of your life
And yes, you may watch movies while eating fried cheese curds and pig brain sandwiches, we screen.
Sorry I know this is old news as we covered it late last night but I am so totally disgusted by this
Squid can make chimichurri with a chef’s knife!
A blender makes it easier. But since it’s used mostly for the Lovely Bride’s summer cocktails, I don’t generally think of it as a “food processor.”
Also, I’d have gone with “pesto.” Way easier to type than “chimichurri.”
pesto, chimichurri, pico de gallo.
It’s all “meh” when you have 8 knives and 10 arms.
I guess I’m going to have to give Duck Dynasty a shot.
A blender is the easy cleaning food processor, it just doesn’t do the same processes.
For me the hardest part to clean is the cover with the feed tube. If you are making something that doesn’t need the feed tube then one of these could make cleaning easier. YMMV of course.
Excellent, Geoff. Thanks.
In other news: who among us hasn’t wanted to do this?
“leigh says May 23, 2012 at 12:27 pm
In other news: who among us hasn’t wanted to do this?”
In Austin we have a chain called the Alamo Darft House. It is a theatre with a shelf in front of you, and you can order food(sandwiches, burgers, chili, pizza, salad, appetizers) and drinks(coffee wine, soda, beer). If anyone talks or uses a cell phone you signal your waiter and they warn the person. If it happens again the offender is tossed out without a refund. They have a no kids policy for evening shows.
Alamo Drafthouse also does special events like meet and greet with film makers, old silly cult movies that you can yell at the screen during, and multifeatures of old films that people like to see back to back. There are also breaks in the aisles were you can get up and go tot he restroom without stepping on people.
pala, there is a theatre outside of Pittsburgh, PA that is similar to the one you are describing. They even serve hard liquor (I think). I know you could get appetizers or pizza, etc and beer and wine, too.
I suppose that’s the flip side of my much-beloved “Lady, one of us needs to hit your kid” line. I guess I’m fortunate that my targets so far have responded to my gracious advice appropriately.
pala, we have a similar chain here in Dallas called Studio Movie Grill.