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UNimpressive: “Annan Suspends Oil-For-Food Program Chief”

From the AP:

Secretary-General Kofi Annan suspended the head of the U.N. oil-for-food program in Iraq and a senior official who dealt with contracts, following an independent investigation that accused them of misconduct, a spokesman said Monday.

Benon Sevan, who was in charge of the $64 billion humanitarian program, and Joseph Stephanides, who heads the U.N. Security Council Affairs Division, were told Friday that they had been suspended with pay, spokesman Fred Eckhard said.

[…] “I called them each separately and told them—in the most severe of my disappointed voices—that they were suspended effective immediately, and that we would be sending out a letter within the week,” Mr. Annan told reporters.  “I told them that the letters would spell out our disappointment, and that we would not hesitate to couch said disappointment in the most severe of rhetorical tones.”

Asked how Mr Sevan and Mr Stephanides reacted to the news, Annan was pensive:  “They were disappointed, I think.  Until they found out they’d still be paid. Once they heard that they cheered right up and asked if I wouldn’t mind sending over a couple of hookers.  Which I did.  But not the expensive kind. 

“So, y’know.  Take that, rulebreakers.”

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More here , here, and here.

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update:  An iconic interpretation

15 Replies to “UNimpressive: “Annan Suspends Oil-For-Food Program Chief””

  1. tommy says:

    That’ll teach them to windle humanitarian aid programs, Suspension with pay.  Yeah, you CAN’T come to work until further notice, so you’ll have nothing to do othre than think up ways to spend your salary.  people like you make me SICk, i hate you so much, here’s More money just to ge out of my sight.

    hmmm

    yeah, that’ll learn ‘em good.

  2. This is definitely going on their Permanent Records, isn’t it?

  3. Suspended with pay?  Uh, that would be the Sevan tha had agreed to accept a dollar a year to hang around just for this investigation.

    Something doesn’t make sense.

  4. CraigC says:

    “I called them each separately and told them—in the most severe of my disappointed voices—that they were suspended effective immediately…”

    Mr Annan declined to elaborate on his other voices, but sources close the Secretariat have confirmed that Mr. Annan is currently undergoing medical treatment.

  5. Hubris says:

    It’s a typo; he actually suspended the oil-for-food chef in the U.N. commissary.

  6. gail says:

    For using a dreadful little no-name vintage

  7. Perhaps Kofi sent Arafat.

  8. kelly says:

    Are the 12-year olds from Sudan the expensive ones or the 12-year olds from Thailand?

  9. McGehee says:

    It depends. The ones from Thailand are more expensive if you buy them one at a time, but they give a bulk discount that more than makes up the difference if you buy a ton at a time.

    Try ordering a ton of Sudanese 12-year-olds and they’ll add all kinds of surcharges and when the order arrives it only weighs 1700 pounds, max.

  10. kelly says:

    I’m referring to living 12-years olds, McG.

  11. McGehee says:

    What makes you think I wasn’t?

  12. JWebb says:

    Breaking on FOX News: UN Sudanese diplomat implicated in $100 million weather forecasting fraud.

    Whew! Good thing he wasn’t Nigerian.

  13. kelly says:

    Pure tonnage, man.

  14. McGehee says:

    When you’re shipping by FedEx, the weight is all that matters.

Comments are closed.