13 Replies to “The Martha Stewart Chronicles, day 91”

1. Yojimbo says:

   January 5, 2005 at 10:57 pm

   She eyes me like a pisces when I am weak
   
   I’ve been locked inside your heart-shaped box for weeks
   
   I’ve been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap …

2. JWebb says:

   January 5, 2005 at 11:04 pm

   Martha isn’t “overtly come-hither.” More like, come hither, thither and yon.

3. Diana says:

   January 5, 2005 at 11:24 pm

   A good pair of sharp thithers will keep you in trim for at least a week.

4. Jim in LA says:

   January 5, 2005 at 11:48 pm

   I once had a girlfriend who trimmed her mons pubis into the shape of the state of Texas!

   Said it was to pay homage to Willie Nelson.

5. McGehee says:

   January 6, 2005 at 3:51 am

   Martha isn’t “overtly come-hither.” More like, come hither, thither and yon.

   I always figured her for “Come hither, right now, or I’ll run over you with my garden tractor!”

   And I’m sure she knows better than to run with thithers.

6. JWebb says:

   January 6, 2005 at 4:47 am

   Garden tractors are just Martha’s way of sending a Joan Deere letter.

7. Ana says:

   January 6, 2005 at 4:53 am

   Bad. Pun.

   I want to know when Martha is going to get some ink done. You know, prison tat. Will she go for a teardrop? The knuckles? A reserved cross? Will she find Jesus or is it just going to be ejaculatory prayers? Inquiring minds and all that.

   And, Jeff, if you took a break from this creative outlet you call Protein Wisdom, you’d have to do something like a screenplay or a book. Too much like work. Screw that.

8. JWebb says:

   January 6, 2005 at 5:00 am

   I’m thinkin’ she’s going Tits for Tats.

9. Diana says:

   January 6, 2005 at 5:38 am

   please .. please .. please..

   somebody else do “yawn”

   <scurries backwards out the door>

10. Willie Nelson says:

    January 6, 2005 at 12:33 pm

    Jim in LA,

    That kind of thing happens all the time.  The most creative I saw was this ol’ gal from Waco that must not of owned a pair of scissors.  She opened up her coat and showed me the greyest, hairiest cooch I’d ever seen sober with a bandana tied just above it. Said it was me.

    You know, there just ain’t enough tequila in the world to make something like that right.

11. gail says:

    January 6, 2005 at 3:50 pm

    If I have accomplished nothing else in this vale of tears, I have at least enriched Ana’s devotional life, and for that, sniff, I think I should get a few days off purgatory. Wait a minute,what am I sniffing?

12. Ana says:

    January 6, 2005 at 5:27 pm

    Gail–Yak leftover from Margaret Cho.

13. gail says:

    January 6, 2005 at 6:04 pm

    Yuk, yak. Cho chow.

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