The best way to get a beet drunk is to let it age in the fridge, where it’s natural sugars will ferment, creating a mellow and completely organic beet high.
Whereas, say, poking it with a fork and leaving it in your dresser at the bottom of a bottle of Peach Schnapps is only going to piss it off. At which point it could hatch a scheme to lay low until the next time you do laundry, then throw itself in with a load of your whites, turning all your socks and underwear a really fruity shade of pink. Hypothetically speaking.
My beets are green. Am I doing something wrong?
<finger picks the Dobro – in best Mark Knopfler>
And all I do is miss you and the way we used to be
All I do is keep the beet and bad company
All I do is kiss you through the bars of a rhyme
Juliet I’d do the stars with you any time
<Stops, big breath, sighs, picks up a shovel and beets the crap out of the beet and throws it in the ditch. End of story.>
I like the Indigo Girls’ version of that song, too.
Wuz you watching Good Eats on the Food Network earlier, Jeff? They ran an episode about beets tonight. Otherwise, what a strange coincidence. Or, dare I say, conspiracy?
Didn’t Michael Jackson do a song about beets?
New year’s eve?
Time to lay off the little red pills methinks.
Interesting. I’m housesitting for a friend for the winter break and found some pills in the couch. Red pills. Not behind, but in the couch. The dolphin told me to say hello. That, and he’s coming for you. Which.. no idea what that means.
That, and clearly I don’t understand what “behind the sofa cushions” means in my state. The beet says hi.
“The Indigo Girls? I’m lookin’ for the Down They Go Girls! Thank you, I’ll be here all week!”
Jeff – I see your Indigo Girls – <a href=”http://www.content.loudeye.com/scripts/hurl.exe?clipid=026791201070006900&cid=600111″ target=”_blank” class=”text”>Romeo and Juliet</a> cover, and raise you a Jim Broadbent and Richard Roxburgh – <a href=”http://www.content.loudeye.com/scripts/hurl.exe?clipid=040904001060006900&cid=600111″ target=”_blank” class=”text”>Like a Virgin</a>. (Thinking you have a rare Melissa Etheridge – I’m on Fire – in hand).
oops – links didn’t work …
I solved that problem by refusing to allow entry of beets into my home. No more pink clothes, viola! That, and beets rank right up there with toe-jam as far as food goes.
JWebb—I looked it up. Never realized this was repeated ten times by MJ:
“Just beet it, beet it, beet it, beet it
No one wants to be defeated
Showin’ how funky and strong is your fight
It doesn’t matter who’s wrong or right”
I wonder if Andy (Rooney) and Martha like beets. I mean, given that they like toe-jam.
(Where else but PW would we have the context to call toe-jam food? Good morning children! Time for breakfast! – And what’s my spam buster word this morning? Food! I kid you not.)
MC, Knopfler could never beet Jerry Douglas on dobro. Even Rob Ickes would make Knopfler his beetch. Just so you know.
Who eats beets? I mean really.
Is there something about lying behind the sofa cushions that makes Sudafed so much fun?
Well, Joe, I must capture a bit of video for you- just to let Mark fend for himself – might take me a bit but I’ll get back to you …
I didn’t forget to add protein wisdom to my blogroll, as the message clearly states while I’m leaving a comment.
Yes, who the hell eats beets? And if you want to get truly fucked up in the most manly of ways, mix some Vodka with Borscht (beet juice.) That shows you not only have huge balls, but no taste buds.
Hector.
Sparkle–Beets are nutritious and tasty. Eaten raw they contain all of their natural enzymes and are excellent for both liver and blood health! Mmmmmmm. Beets. Try them. You’ll like them.
Beet … Beer … so close, yet so far. And beer is filled with carbs … which we can all have again, since “no/low-carb” is SO 2004.
I don’t like the Indigo Girls. They sap lesbianism of all its excitement and erotic exoticism. Listening to them sing is like watching a communist propaganda film on the kibbutz.
Jeff- you a Ray Fogg fan???
Referring to:
http://www.rayfogg.net/rockgod_content_press_quotes.html
and his “Hypothetically Speaking”
Sorry, no. Never heard of him until now. Any good?
Hilarious – a great bar band that plays in Put-in-Bay (you should like that name) on S. Bass Island (Lake Erie) in Ohio. e-mail me and I’ll send you a cd – good with red pills, and beet vodka, too!