How could I hope to be myself, with my uncomplicated child’s face and funny monkey mind when I could never live in the dream world presented to me on the screen? Nobody understands this, when I express it, because there are sci- fi and fantasy films all over the place, and most people don’t come away from “Battlefield Earth” thinking, “Am I here?”
We don’t see Asians in film unless they have super powers, and I certainly don’t have them, so where does that leave this erstwhile actor? Even with all the digital effects, it still wouldn’t work. I am clumsy with a death wish. Yesterday, I was in the backyard and I fell from a height of approximately one inch and I am practically bleeding internally. I see Asians flying with their daggers and I feel as if I am hurtling toward extinction at the speed of light. With the growing death toll of the fearsome Asian tsunami and the popularity of films like [House of the Flying Daggers], I feel as if Asia, not only the continent, but the global community of Asia is on the verge of collapse. There is nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, nowhere to fly.
Um, what the fuck…?*
Fudd: Woze awe werry bad dwugs she are takin’!
Dammit. I knew those goddamn flying superpowered asians were going to come after us some day. I think they’re in cahoots with the well-mannered, monocled, derby-wearing London Mohammads; if you want my two cents.
Oh yeah, and the honey badgers too. Fucking conniving woodland cunts.
But. Why would you want to look at her?
Lordy, Jeff, it’s a wonder you’re coherent …not just after that post of Cho’s but especially if you even briefly read the one just prior to it!
Well, this still stands.
Just sayin’…
You’re all a masochistic group, aren’t ya?
They’re putting Asians in films again? Man, have I been out of touch. I thought they stopped doing that after they did “The Bridge on the River Kwai”.
It is so pathetic how you people try to denagrate someone who really feels like Margaret when all you can do is use curse words and denagrate.
Oh and Margaret has more talent in her one pinky toe than you have in your entire body, Jeff Goldstein.
Cho, you miserable slit trench. I knew the woman you’re gratuitously slamming. I dated her. She’s a friend of mine. And you, Margaret Cho are no Sue Namie.
Margaret has more talent in her one pinky toe than you have in your entire body, Jeff Goldstein.
More Snickers bars too, I’d bet.
That “Cho fan” has a mail-to address at “asshole.com.” You can’t make this stuff up.
I agree with Cho Fan. If I really felt like Margaret, I would want someone to “nagrate” me–not “de-nagrate” me–and without using curse words! Insensitive bastards.
Has anyone ever been nagrated? What does it feel like?
And, as a nag, how does Cho rate?
I don’t know about “nagrated” but my wife’s grandmother (may she rest in peace) used to complain about “nagras” all the time. She was from Alabama.
Poor Cho fan! Not only can it not spell, but it evidently fell in Cho’s bathos and drowned! Just one more tragedy to chalk up to the tsunami.
Margaret Cho only has one pinky toe? Shit, that explains a lot…
I can get you a Margaret Cho toe by 2:00 – with nail polish – no problem.
Great! But by 2:30 I’ll just be hungry for another one.
reading her entire post…maybe if she stopped “snorting all that yak” she’d be able to write coherently, instead of sounding like …well…a babbling yak.
“and most people don’t come away from “Battlefield Earth†thinking, “Am I here?â€Â
If Cho thinks she doesn’t feel “all here” because she doesn’t see Asians in flims, think about how we conservatives feel???
Sadly, I used to think Margaret Cho had talent.
And one more thing. If all she does see is super power Asians, well at least she has that. If we see a Republican on film he is always the bad guy….. some homophobic sexual pervert hypocrite.
I’ll take the super powers any day.
Sparkle, I take exception to your last remark…. we are not all hypocrites
Most people don’t come away from “Battlefield Earth” thinking anything at all, cause first they’d have to go into “Battlefield Earth” and everyone except you, Marge, has enough sense not to do that. Trust me, you’d have a better time at that one Disney movie that all the druggies like– “Fatasian”, I think it’s called. You could look at the dancing hippos and think “Yep. I’m here all right.”
Anyone remember what Long Duc Dong’s super power was?
Things I could do with an empty field, Margaret Cho, and a shotgun…
I never saw the movie, so perhaps someone could clue me in–what were Harold and Kumar’s super powers?
I came across this letter to the editor ($$ required) in my local paper today. Is it just me or does this make Cho look brilliant in comparison? :
Modest proposal: Declare war to get U.S. aid
VIRGINIA BYRNE, Shrewsbury, MA
I have just had a brilliant idea. Why don’t the countries destroyed by the horrific, incomprehensibly devastating natural disaster in South Asia form a coalition? This coalition could then threaten the United States or perhaps even declare war on us. Our supreme protector, President George W. Bush, could then inform us that “freedom is on the march†and send the military (or what’s left of it) and totally annihilate what remains of those nations’ villages.
He could then, in good conscience, use billions of dollars in war aid and proceed to totally rebuild the countries (and at least provide drinking water for what will be left of the populations) rather than sending over in aid what we spend every four hours in Iraq. Though written with tongue in cheek, this scenario is not terribly far off in left field.
Doesn’t this strike anyone else as strange?
Anyways this is what it is like to live in the wonderful, incomprehensibly liberal state of Massachusetts.
Sean, I think they were able to see things that unstoned people were incapable of seeing. And comprehend things with greater or lesser clarity. Perhaps. I’ve only seen the trailer.
Harold and Kunmar had a superhuman ability to disappear huge quantities of weed. I’m still trying to figure out Sandra Oh’s powers though.
For that matter, what are the super powers of: Konrad Aderer, Pun Bandhu, Scott Chan, Vic Chao, Jae Choe, Justin Chon, Charles Chun, Ron Domingo, Erwin P. Falcon, John Fukuda, David Kepa Hart, Paul H. Juhn, Johnathan Staci Kim, Larry Kitagawa, C. S. Lee, Christian J. Lee, Andy Lee, Victor Lirio, Tim Mullaney, David X. Nghiem, Abe Pagtama, Joe Phua, Nick Sakai, Frank Song, Dwight Egan Sora, Chris Tashima, Satoru “Sat” Tsufura, Tom Xia, and Aaron Yoo?
Or the ladies, which of these ladies has super powers: Arista, Kei Arita, Vivian Bang, Barbara Kidd Calvano, Sekiya Billman, Esther K. Chae, Garz Chan, Maria C. Chang, Ali Chen, Cindy Cheung, Amy Chiang, Ji Un Choi, Emy Coligado, Siho Ellsmore, Tina Factor, Tina Frantz, Hettienne, Gina Hiraizumi, Angelina Hong, Susan Hyon, Kim Ima, Jing, Christine Toy Johnson, Jennifer L. Johnson, Kimberly Justus, Ja Won Kim, Natalie Kim, Susan Kim, Judy Jean Kwon, Hyunsoo Lee, Kathy Shao-Lin Lee, Lily Lee, Tina Lee, Caroline Ceniza-Levine, Marissa Lichwick, Evelyn Liu, Betty Ouyang, Jo Shui, Sophia Skiles, Angie Suh, Connie Teng, Rochele Tillman, Camy Ting, Angela Tom, Eunice Wong, Nancy Wu, and Sarah Zhang?
So what Margaret is really saying is that she can’t get any parts. Maybe she’ll be happy when there’s an affirmative action program for the film industry. That way, she won’t have to develop any, you know, talent.
Margaret who?
Ah, Cho.
Gesundheit!
Where can i get some of Harold and Kumar’s super powers?
Checkmate with the white castle. We’ve been rooked.
Cho’s just a little lost what with no railroad to build and all.
Um, Stower, it’s been done. It was called “The Mouse That Roared.” Of course, that was only a movie.
I also don’t see how she could possibly hope to be herself. But does she really have her child’s face? [I am unable to make any further progresss on her weighty matter.]
But does she really have her child’s face?
Well, J., maybe she disregarded every mother’s time-honored advice, made a nasty face, and got stuck that way.
Or perhaps she was just a really ugly little girl.
Gesundheit!
Thank you.
Seth—You left out Asia Carrera.
“I’m still trying to figure out Sandra Oh’s powers though.”
Well, she can break faces with a motorcycle helmet for one thing …
Another reason to look at Margaret Cho? Next time, just stab my eyes and brain with a sharp stick instead of torturing the rest of us by posting Cho’s post.
Alex, the thing is, it’s simpler than listing the reasons not to look at her.
There just isn’t enough bandwidth, y’know?
Not to be too mean…(this is my evil twin posting now) but maybe she meant to write “my uncomplicated monkey’s face and funny child mind?”
hmmm?
Well, her face may dance, but her mind sure doesn’t…
I love the look on coolie’s faces when they get confused.